Psyche
by Falcum
Summary: RE-UPLOAD! "Sometimes people find love in hopeless place; Nick Duval found love in a mental asylum." Set in the 1960's, AU. Themes of Lunacy, murder, attempted suicide, coarse language, extreme emotional trauma.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Ok so long story short; My mother told my english teacher that I wrote fanfiction and he told me he was going to make it his mission to find it, so in a moment of panic I deleted this entire story, which really broke my heart because I had to delete 9 months worth of followers and reviews and chapters, but i'm reuploading the whole thing now so that if anyone wants to revisit the pain you can feel totally free to do so!

SORRY AGAIN!

* * *

Chapter 1:

_September 1961_

_Nick stared down at the small razor blade in the palm of his hand, watching it as it glimmered in the dusty morning light that filtered through the cloudy windows of his bathroom. He got up from his position on the floor and placed the piece of metal on the corner of his small porcelain sink._

_He turned on the shower._

_He didn't bother taking off his clothes, he thought it would be more dignified to be found fully clothed, and his mother wouldn't have to pick his clothes up off the bathroom floor once he had been removed from the scene._

_She wouldn't be home for hours._

_Plenty of time, Nick thought._

_He picked up the blade and caught his reflection in the mirror. He stared straight into his bloodshot eyes, a small smile lingering on his chapped, cut lips. He ran a single hand through his wild, greasy hair and nodded to himself._

_This is it, he thought, this time I won't fail._

_He stepped into the lukewarm spray of the shower and lowered himself to the ground, his clothes becoming drenched as he hit the tile floor._

"_Don't be afraid." He whispered to himself as he pressed the corner of the metal square to his pale wrist._

_He let the razor slip across his wrist, watching the blood ooze slowly from the gash, slowly at first, then profusely, flooding down his forearms to the crook of his elbow into the flow of water disappearing into the drain._

_He lifted his other wrist, cutting a deep slash along it._

_A quiet giggle bubbled up his throat._

_Everything went black._

* * *

_When he woke up everything was obnoxiously bright, and for a brief moment, he actually thought he was in heaven. He squeezed his eyes shut in a desperate attempt to escape the sudden reality he had been unwillingly forced into. _

_He slowly opened one eye. _

_There was a faint beeping noise coming from somewhere. An alarm clock maybe? No it couldn't be. It was a low beeping noise, droning on and on with every oncoming second._

"_Nick?" _

_Somebody was saying his name_

"_Nick?"_

_The noise was growing louder_

_He opened a second eye, trying to recognise the alien surroundings_

"_Nick?"_

_There was a weight pressing on his arm._

_He shifted his head to the left, and there sat his mother, her hazel eyes shiny with brimming tears._

"_Nick, you're in the hospital."_

_No._

_No, no, no, no, no._

_He tried to sit up, but his temples thumped against his skull in protest. He felt a sharp stabbing pain in the back of his hand. _

_He lifted his arm slowly._

_And then he saw the bandages wound around his wrists and forearms, an ugly looking tube running into a vein below his knuckles._

_His gaze shot to his mother._

"_What did you do?" He croaked, feeling the slow heat pressing against the back of his throat._

"_I found you in the shower half dead … when are you going to stop this, Nicolas?"_

"_You should have left me."_

"_Nicolas …"_

"_You should have left me there."_

"_You're not well."_

"_Why did you do this to me?"_

"_I'm sorry, my love, I'm not giving up on you."_

_He started to cry._

_They came for him two days later, and he went without argue. The men in the white suits loaded him into the back of their bus, the back doors imprinted with a large "AI" in slanted black print. The caged windows rattled loudly as the doors slammed behind him._

_The car journey lasted an hour or so. From what Nick could see out of the small dirty windows, he was somewhere in the country, for all he could see spanning out into the distance was fields, and fields, and fields. All of a sudden the truck came to an abrupt stop and there was a loud clamouring behind him as the driver jumped out of the cab. There was a scratching sound as the driver unlocked the dead bolt and swung open the door_

"_Out we come." He announced, adjusting the white holster that held a small hand gun resting on his hip._

_Nick complied, shuffling out of the cab. The driver grabbed his shoulders and rotated him so he was facing the opposite direction. _

_And then he saw it._

_The institute._

_The unforgiving rusted iron wrought gates loomed over them like great teeth, leading into the mouth of the monster within. A long gravel path awaited them behind the entrance, leading to a large brown building at the end. There were two armed guards at the gate, and as Nick looked down the line of railings, he could see more guards every 20 meters or so, all armed, all braced for … something._

_The driver pushed him forward gently towards the locked entryway _

"_Mornin', Monty." Greeted one of the guards._

"_We got ourselves another one, guys."_

"_Righto." Responded the guard, as he pulled a bulky chain of keys out of his pockets, walking over to the lock, pressing a large brass key into the hole, then repeating with another 4 locks which lined the gates split down the middle below it. Once the last lock clicked open, he pushed it open with a great heave. He nodded for them to proceed in._

_Nick trudged through the gate, never taking his eyes off the floor. He didn't care where he was, he didn't care where he was going. For nothing meant anything to him anymore, he was already dead inside, and it didn't matter whether there was blood coursing through his veins, or thoughts running through his head, he was dead to himself._

"_So," began Monty as they began down the path, stones crackling under the soles of their shoes "What's wrong with you? You're on the lowest security warning so you can't be one of them schizo's or nothing."_

"_He's a manic depressive," A calm voice chimed from behind them "Tried to top himself, look at his arms."_

_Nick tucked his arms into him, feeling Monty's eyes searching him over_

"_Ahh, right, right."_

_They continued down the path silently for the next few minutes, until they began closely approaching the brown building at the end._

"_Listen, kid," Monty piped up "You just stay out of trouble and you won't get in no trouble, got it?"_

_Nick didn't respond_

"_Good. And you might want to get some ear plugs, you'll be living in the same building as Markus, you'll know what I'm talking about after you've spent the night"_

_They came to a short flight of stone steps, leading to ornate oak doors. To the left of the entrance was a sign that read "_**The Atlas Juvenile Mental Institute."**

_Nick stood outside the door, the two men lingering behind him_

"_Welcome to the Atlas Institute." They hollered before disappearing back down the path._

* * *

It had been one year.

One year, and Nick was still numb.

He never spoke to anyone. He never looked at anyone. He never felt anything other then disgust.

Disgust at life, at everything and everyone.

Disgust at his mother for finding him when he was so close to escaping the ugly world he was being forced into, disgust at himself for being the person he was.

52 one sided conversations with the resident psychologist, Dr Morgan

Always going the same way;

"_Why did you try and kill yourself, Nick?"_

_Silence._

"_Do you view death as an escape?"_

_Nothing._

"_Nick, it's been 6 months, you need to talk to someone sooner or later or you'll never be able to get better."_

Nick never responded, and after a while, the sessions got shorter and shorter as Dr. Morgan grew more and more aware that Nick wasn't going to break, not after a year, a year of silence, a year of nothingness.

It had also become apparent that Monty was right when he told Nick to get ear plugs, for he had the pleasure of being in the same living quarters of Markus the insomniac. Markus's lack of sleep had literally driven him to madness, and he now spent all his nights screaming and yelling until somebody came along to drug him, if they could get the needle into his arm that is.

The lack of sleep just made him worse.

As worse as one at rock bottom could get.

It was in the first week of October, 1962, that something changed. It was a dreary day, much like any other day at Atlas, but Nick rarely paid much attention to the weather, or anything else for that matter.

He was sitting in his usual spot, on a bench in the main courtyard when he heard someone screaming. He had heard people scream before and he could identify all of them just by their voices, but this one was new.

This one was scared, while the others had just been helpless.

For the first time in 5 miserable years, Nick was actually curious about something.

He looked up to see Monty and Red (the other man who had brought Nick to the institute he had later learned) trying to contain a new patient. He was thrashing his legs uncontrollably while trying to whack Red in the stomach with his hand cuffed wrists, his bright blonde hair in sweaty disarray around his forehead.

"LET ME GO! LET ME GO YOU ASSHOLE FUCKERS! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU ALL." The new patient yelled as he tried to desperately scramble away.

"Of course you will, but can you calm down a bit first?" Monty replied as he managed to get his arms into a vice grip, keeping him as still as humanly possible

"I AM GOING TO BURN YOUR FUCKING FACE OFF IF YOU DON'T LET GO OF ME."

Nick watched almost attentively as the new guy fought with Monty and Red as furiously as he could before more guards were called over, one holding a large needle, which was plunged into his arm, making him stumble slightly, and then collapse onto the grassy floor of the glade. Monty then scooped him up into his arms, and carried him towards Maddox hall, the maximum security cell block.

Nick watched his limp, unconscious body being taken away, and for some unexplainable reason, he felt something.

Something different.

Something _unexpected._

He remained in his seat, his gaze returning to its previous place on the floor.

And he was numb again.

* * *

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

Jeff Sterling was unlike anything Dr. Morgan had ever come across in his 30 years of psychological studies. This became apparent after their first therapy session, 4 days after Jeff had arrived at Atlas.

Luckily the concoction of limited sleep and drugs had made Jeff calm down slightly, so when he was called to Doctor Morgan's office he didn't try and kill the man as soon as he stepped into his musty office, filled with polished oak furnishings and boldly plush maroon wall paper, with one wall dedicated to certificates and degrees he had received over his life for his substantial contribution to modern day psycho-analysis.

Monty and Red guided Jeff into the office, where he hesitantly took a seat in the brown leather arm chair facing the doctor. They lingered at the door.

"Thank you, boys, you can leave now."

"Sorry, Sir, but we're under strict obligation to guard him, no matter where he is."

"I think we can make an exception just this once, don't you agree?"

They nodded hesitantly and shuffled out of the door, closing it with a soft click behind them.

"So, Mr Duval, tell me something about yourself."

Jeff glared at him "I want to rip your face off" He stated calmly.

"I see. Any particular reason why?"

"Because I want to get rid of that smug look you've got on your face. You think you can just drag me here without my consent and expect me to just sit here and take it?" Jeff snarled at him, flicking his hair out of his eyes.

"No I don't, I don't think anyone thinks that about you, you broke one of the guards arms on your first day. I'm surprised Monty and Red haven't handed in their notices of resignation." He chuckled aloud to himself

"I'm gonna get them too, once I'm done with you, they're next."

Dr Morgan peered at him over his half moon spectacles,

"Jeff, do you know why you're here?"

"I'm here because of the harsh brutality of mankind."

"I see."

"Can I leave now?"

"Tell me about fire."

Jeff frowned at him.

"Tell me why you're so infatuated with it." Morgan continued

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because it's none of your fucking business."

"I'm only trying to help you, Mr Sterling; I hope that you will let me try."

"I don't need your fucking help, there's nothing wrong with me."

Dr Morgan nodded.

"You may leave now if you wish."

Jeff narrowed his eyes, got up, and pulled open the door, slamming it shut behind him with a loud bang

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, DON'T YOU PEOPLE EVER LEAVE?" Dr Morgan heard Jeff scream at Monty and Red outside the door.

Dr. Morgan exhaled loudly, picking up his brandy glass and swirling the dark liquid around in it before taking a sip.

"Interesting." He whispered to himself.

* * *

That Evening as Morgan sat in his office, going over his notes from the day's sessions; there was a soft knock at the door.

"Come in."

The door opened slowly and the resident surgeon, Abe, walked in, still dressed in his work clothes.

"Ah, Abe, good evening."

"Morgan."

"To what do I owe this pleasure?"

Abe walked over to the desk, taking a seat in one of the worn wooden chairs in front of it.

"Your new patient, the pyromaniac, how is he?"

Morgan sighed quietly, narrowing his eyes at Abe

"He's the same as the rest; Violent, scared, out of control."

"Violent, you say?" Abe asked, cocking an eyebrow

"I know what you're thinking. But the answer is still no. I will not let you turn my patients into vegetables."

"You think they deserve better?"

"Yes, they deserve help, help that I can give them."

"Oh my dear, Morgan, you're as mad as they are if you truly believe you can help them. You may as well perform CPR on a rotting body for all it's worth."

"Well now that's where our opinions differ, I'm afraid. I have faith in my patients, where you have faith in your instruments of … eradication."

"They're criminals."

"They're people who know no better."

Abe rose from his seat, and paced over to the wall brandished with the awards and accolades Morgan had acquired over the years

"Such a brilliant mind you have, Dr Morgan. It's a shame it's so tragically illogical."

"My mind may be _illogical_, Abraham, but at least I can see beyond the end of an Orbitoclast."

"At least I'm trying to get rid of the problem, you're just evolving it."

"You say that like it's a bad thing. Man wouldn't be what it is today without evolution."

Abe turned to face Morgan.

"What are you trying to prove, Morgan?"

"Something that everyone else seems to be oblivious to," He replied, removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes softly "That the people who are being treated at this institute are _people_, not just _things_ that society has deemed inferior to others because their minds work differently."

Abe exhaled loudly, then made his way towards the door, stopping as he was about to turn the handle.

"You're delusional." He said simply before walking out.

* * *

Monty and Red were at their wits end. They had had some crazy people to deal with in the past, but Jeff Sterling was on another level. Every moment when he wasn't trying to break out or steal one of the guard's lighters, he was yelling or screaming. But there were times, strange episodes, when he would just stop.

He wouldn't scream, or talk or even _move_.

And it confused Monty and Red more then it relieved them.

It was like his whole body would just shut down and his madness would fall asleep for an hour or two out of sheer exhaustion.

Nobody quite knew why it happened, it just did. Monty swore he heard him crying in the middle of the night once.

Nick remained unchanged, as always

Stuck in a constant loop of nothing

He was 10 feet underground, so exhausted that he couldn't even be bothered to claw his way up to the surface any more.

But that was about to change, thanks to a certain hot-headed blonde.

* * *

October 9th 1962:

Nick went about him usual schedule of being dragged out of bed, forced into the shower by his kind but persistent nurse, Susanna. He then made his way down to the canteen, were the procession of maniacs trickled in one by one, some accompanied by guards, some loosely dressed in unchained straight jackets, others just aimlessly wandering in, pausing every few seconds to stare at the barren walls of the mess hall.

Nick took his usual spot in the corner, where somebody irrelevant threw down a bowl of something he couldn't remember the name of.

It was at that moment the yelling started.

The screams were further away at first, getting louder and louder with every second passing.

Nick tried to tune it out, failing miserably.

The yelling was outside the sterile double doors.

They burst open and the whole room went quiet, everyone stopping and staring at the boy causing the commotion at breakfast.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ASSHOLES LOOKING AT?!" Jeff snarled viciously

Something in Nicks mind snapped, jolting him out of his weak, droning hypnosis.

People began to shuffle again around him

"And you two can let go of me and all."

"If we do you're going to escape, and unfortunately, you have to eat, so take a seat." Red replied, motioning to a near by chair at a deserted table.

Nick wanted to turn around and look at the new boy

And he was suddenly scared.

Nick had seen and heard his fair share of lunatics at Atlas, in the grounds and at night with Markus, but something about the new inmate was … well he didn't even know what it was about him, but it scared Nick.

He shuffled nervously in his seat, like he would if there were a bloodthirsty monster behind him, tensing to pounce as soon as he cocked his head.

Without thinking, he looked.

He was sitting at a table 10 or so meters away from him with Monty and Red sitting one next to him and one opposite him.

He was scowling, but his jaw wasn't tense, so his face almost looked odd, with a scrunched up brow line, but a completely relaxed disposition

It wasn't until Jeff shifted his gaze to meet Nicks that he realised he had been staring

"Can I help you with something?" Jeff asked bluntly across the table to him.

Nick turned around quickly, burying his head in his clammy hands.

"I didn't think so." He heard Jeff mutter.

He took a few deep breaths, then stood up and walked over to the grimy washing cart, where he placed his still full plate onto the rack, avoiding the concerned looks from Susanna, and walked out into the cold October air, not giving the new patient a second glance.

* * *

Monty and Red took their usually spots in the worn out plastic fold up chairs outside of Jeff's room, where he spent most of his time. Considering that Jeff was on high alert meant that he would only be allowed outside when he behaved appropriately, and being Jeff, appropriate behaviour was the last thing on his large and revengeful agenda. So Monty and Red spent most of their days sitting around waiting for Jeff to loose it or try to escape.

"Do you think he's ever going to calm down?" Monty interjected as his seat creaked below his somewhat large mass.

Red laughed quietly.

"No." He replied simply

"He must know he's off his rocker though, I mean he's completely psychotic."

"Everyone here is a psychopath, Mont, it's a mental hospital, kinda the general point."

"Not _everyone_ here is _psychotic _here though."

"Give me one example."

"Nick isn't."

Red tipped his head to the side slightly, squinting his eyes. "Huh," He muttered "Well how can you know? He's been here a year and hasn't said one word to anyone … he's like one of those mannequin things."

"Nahh, he isn't, he would have lost it by now."

"Hmm … you know sometimes I wish we had to guard someone like Nick instead of Jeff … our jobs would be _so_ much easier."

"We wouldn't have any job to do."

"Exactly, with this guy it's like trying to compromise with a drunk 3 year old."

Monty hummed in agreement

"What do you think happened to Nick though … you know, what made him like he is?"

"He tried to kill himself you idiot." Red replied bluntly

"No but, what made him do it?"

"I dunno, but whatever it is clearly fucked him up beyond repair."

Monty got up from his chair and wandered over to the window, looking out onto a small garden bordering the outside of the building

"If you ask me, they should just let Nick leave. Nobody can help him here, he won't talk, he won't eat, and he probably can't sleep either if he's bunking with Markus. The kid's being driven into an early grave."

"He'll try and top himself again if they let him go though."

"Maybe he won't, maybe after a year here he might realise how good life can be."

Red chuckled, "People like Nick will never be able to see the good in life, they're too blinded by the bad."

"It's a shame, I just wish he would let someone in … he's one of the only people we've brought here that hasn't tried to escape … he's different."

Red sighed quietly.

Monty and Red had failed to realise that Jeff hadn't made a noise since he had been forced back into his room.

He was listening, something he did more than anyone noticed. He needed a way to get out, a loophole, a window of time he could use, or just anything.

And finally his eavesdropping had paid off, if only a little.

And he decided something;

If this Nick person had the opportunity to get out, he would have to figure him out, and adapt.

A small giggle bubbled up Jeff's throat as he lay on the cold stone floor of his prison cell.

Whoever Nick was, he was going to be Jeff's ticket out of there.

* * *

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

Jeff wondered how long it would take.

A week? A month?

He knew it was worth it though, if it could get him out of the state imposed hell hole he had been shoved into.

He just needed to scope out the grounds and figure out who this Nick person was when all he had to go on was that he never talked.

But if he never spoke, chances were that he wasn't doing much else either.

So he must not be dangerous. He must be on minimum security, which means he would be outside a lot.

Jeff had to stifle a laugh that bubbles up his throat

"I'm coming to get you." He whispered as his cell door was unlocked behind him by Red.

* * *

Nick stepped into Morgans office later that week, ushered in by Susanna, who gave him a hopeful smile before slipping out of the door to carry on with her other patients at the institute.

Nick slumped down in his seat, while Dr. Morgan continued to scrawl away at a large stack of paperwork.

"Hello, Nicolas." He murmured, not looking up from the sheets in front of him

Nick dropped his head onto his hand and closed his eyes.

"Your mother called earlier, she wants to come and see you again."

Nicks mother had only been to visit twice, the first time a few weeks after Nick had arrived at Atlas and another time 6 months later.

Nick said nothing to her either time, nor did he make eye contact or even acknowledged that she was there, and both times she left crying, or desperately begging him to forgive her.

He couldn't do that either.

Nick opened one eye to see Morgan looking at him with raised eyebrows.

"As much as you resent her for forcing you here, she is still your mother and she deserves better than being ignored by her only son."

Nick closed his eye.

"She misses you."

Nick ignored him.

"So I take your ongoing silence as a no to her coming here?"

Nick remained silent, as always

"Very well," He sighed "Maybe another time, hmm?"

There was an uncomfortably loud silence before Nick could hear the irritating scratch of Dr. Morgan's fountain pen against paper.

"Well … that was all I had to discuss with you today, you may leave if you wish."

Nick was about to drag himself out of his chair when he heard a loud banging noise outside the office and he froze.

"Ah, that will be my new favourite patient." Morgan chuckled quietly.

"You're going to start damaging the walls if you don't stop doing that." Nick heard a voice that sounded a lot like Red's outside the door.

"Good." He heard another voice say, not Monty but somebody else, a voice nick recognised

There was a loud knock at the door.

"Would you mind letting Mr. Sterling in on your way out, Nicolas?"

Nick trudged over to the door and opened it.

An angry looking blonde stood with his fist held up, ready to knock again.

"Oh hi, Nick." Red chirped lazily

The blonde's eyes widened and moved quickly to Nick.

Nick looked at Red, then the blonde, before he walked straight past them towards the entrance of the building.

He felt a pair of eyes leering at him the whole way out.

He made his way to his usual bench, which was wet from the long spell of rain they had had earlier that day.

* * *

Jeff threw himself into the chair in front of the Doctors desk.

"Good afternoon, JeffrEy."

"Sup, cunt?"

Morgan cocked an eyebrow at him,

"I would appreciate it if you refrained from using that word."

"I would appreciate it if you refrained from existing."

Morgan laughed

"Well I don't think I can do that I'm afraid."

"Well then I don't think I can stop calling you cunt, sir."

Morgan removed his glasses from his tired looking face

"So how are you today, Jeffrey?"

"I'm still cooped up in this shit hole, so not great."

"I trust you've been treating Monty and Red appropriately."

"Nope," Jeff replied "The fuckers won't leave me alone."

"That's their job."

Jeff contemplated whether he would be able to trust the Doctor not to blab about what he was about to ask.

_Fuck it._

"Morgan, I want you to tell me about another inmate here."

Morgan frowned

"Firstly, we don't have inmates here, we have patients, and secondly, we have a strict _patient _confidentiality agreement."

"Do I look like I give a fuck? I want to know who was in here before me just now."

"Why?"

"What's his name?"

"His name is Nicolas, and I suggest you leave him alone, he doesn't cause any trouble here."

"He never speaks, does he?"

"Where are you getting this information from?"

"He doesn't, does he?"

Morgan didn't reply.

"I bet you wish I were more like him."

"I don't wish you were like anyone, I wish that you would trust me if anything."

"Well I think we both know that's not going to happen anytime soon." Jeff said, scrunching up his nose as he spoke.

"I don't want you going near Nicolas, do you understand, young man?"

Jeff snorted loudly

"Yeah, you fucking wish." He scoffed

"I'm being serious Jeff, you have no business bothering other patients here, especially him."

"Oh come on, Morgan, you think I'm going to stay here without my consent and not fuck with some of the retards here?"

"Jeff, I think you should be concentrating on your mental health, not my other patients."

"Hah. Yeah, you fucking wish."

And with that, he got up and strode over to the door, hauling it open and rushed out.

He took Red's surprise at his sudden exit as an opportunity to make a break for it, and Morgan watched as he ran out of the building, yelling something unintelligible behind him as Red ran after him, barely keeping up to Jeff's unnaturally fast sprint, until he ran into a very burly looking guard, who grabbed a hold of his arms, throwing him to the ground, hand cuffing him.

Morgan pushed the seat out from underneath him, and strode towards the large brass telephone on the wall beside his desk.

He dialled the number for the security office and waited

"Atlas security office." A deep voice called from the other end of the line

"It's Dr. Morgan, I need your department to do something for me."

"Yes, Sir, what can we do for you?"

"I need your men to keep an eye on new patient here, his name is Jeff Sterling."

"We know 'im, sir, he is already on the highest security warning."

"No, I need you to make sure he stays away from another patient of mine, His name is Nick Duval."

"The one that don't talk?"

"Yes, I have reason to believe that Mr. Sterling may be developing an interest in him and I need you to make sure they are at least 100 meters from each other at all times."

"Yes sir, anything else I can do for you?"

"No, that's fine, thank you." He hung up.

Morgan knew that whatever Jeff had said to him before should be taken lightly. If Jeff wanted to know about Nick then chances were that he wanted to hurt him, and Morgan could never put a patient in danger like that for not paying attention when they may be vulnerable to somebody like Jeffry Duval.

For the first time in months, Morgan felt fear.

* * *

Much to Red's dismay, Monty had been called back to his home in Virginia for his sister's wedding, leaving Red to deal with Jeff.

Red was tired. So, so tired.

So tired in fact that he didn't notice Jeff slipping his keys out of his pocket at dinner that night, or that he forgot to lock the door to Jeff's room when he went dosed off to sleep that night.

Jeff lied in bed, dangling the keys in front of his face.

"Idiot." He whispered into the stale darkness.

* * *

Jeff woke early the next morning, flecks of yellow sunlight scattering the floor beside his bed. He rolled over, cowering from the intrusive light burning his irises. He felt something jagged press into his exposed hip. He fumbled around trying to find what it was when he heard a faint jingling sound.

The keys.

Jeff grabbed them and sat up, peering around his room nervously. The room was silent.

Everything was silent.

He glanced at the clock on the wall

8:24am.

Jeff pocketed the keys and grabbed his worn out hiking boots from under his bed. He yanked them on and tiptoed over to his door, where out the window he could see Red almost unconscious on the seat outside. Jeff tried the door.

Unlocked. Jeff smiled, this was going to be easier then he thought, nobody was awake at this hour at Atlas, except perhaps the early morning guards, who were usually loosing the will to live at this time.

Jeff took a quick 360 of the corridor outside his room, Reds snoring interrupting the odd calm of the vicinity.

He took off down the corridor, not bothering to keep the loud noises his boots made against the wooden floors down to a minimum. He reached the front door within a few minutes and flicked through the bunch of keys, until he found an ornate brass key, the same colour as the lock in front of him. He stepped out and ducked down, jogging to a cluster of trees near his cell block.

"Hold it right there." He heard a stern voice order from behind him.

A scrawny but tough looking guard stood behind him, holding up a silver handgun towards Jeff's head.

"Hands above your head." The guard walked forward, unlocking a pair of silver handcuffs

"Alright," Jeff replied "You caught me, I was just going for a morning stroll, but if you insist."

He was about to clip the first cuff around Jeff's pale wrist when_ THWACK, _Jeff elbowed him in the temple, disorientating him, then turned around and whacked his fist into his freckly face, causing the guard to fall to the ground with a loud thud.

Jeff spat on him.

"You fucking tell anyone that you saw me, and it won't be my fist going into your head next time."

The guard was about to reach for his gun, which had been knocked out of his hand, when Jeff stamped on his hand, causing the man to cry out

"Oh shut the fuck up." Jeff muttered before heading over the flurry of woodland towards the low security quarters.

* * *

Jeff almost felt it was too good to be true when he saw the person he had set out to find sitting on a bench in the courtyard outside the minimum security block. He was just sitting there, completely silently, wearing a simple pair of stripped pyjama bottoms and a white woollen jumper. Nobody was around but him and a guard circling the perimeter of the square, but that guard wouldn't know what Jeff looked like, not in that part of the grounds. Jeff could only imagine how much easier his escape would be if he didn't have the two idiots following him around the whole time.

Jeff stood not sure of what he should do next.

He hadn't thought this far into his plan, and now he was stumped.

Nick sat unmoving, his head resting in his head, his eyes never blinking, as if they were transfixed on something in the far off distance. Jeff looked around to see what he was staring at.

He wasn't staring at anything.

Jeff inhaled loudly and strode over to the bench he was sitting on and sat down with a loud thump beside him. Nick didn't look up, or even stir.

Jeff stared at him, not sure if talking to him would do any good.

Somehow he managed to stay quiet.

He sat there for 10 minutes, occasionally glancing at the frozen boy sitting next to him, before he heard the guards running towards them, a clatter of footsteps drumming against the gravel.

"STERLING, STAND UP AND PUT YOUR HANDS ON YOUR HEAD."

Jeff laughed aloud at them

"Took you long enough, boys." Jeff yelled over his shoulder as he stood up, placing his hands obediently on the nape of his neck.

"Shut up, Sterling and step away from the bench."

Red stepped forward with handcuffs and clipped his wrists together without any retaliation from Jeff.

"For god sakes, Jeff, why can't you just do what you're told for once?"

"Maybe if you could do your fucking job, I wouldn't be such a loose canon all the time." Jeff whispered back sweetly as Red pushed him towards the path leading towards his cell block.

Jeff glanced back at Nick quickly, and to his surprise, found Nick staring back at him.

Jeff winked at him, and he turned away.

Jeff smiled.

* * *

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

Nick was scared

Scared of _him._

Jeff, Nick thought his name was or something, he couldn't quite remember. But he was afraid.

Everybody at Atlas knew that Nick didn't want to be bothered, and everyone knew bothering him was pointless anyway because he rarely acknowledged other peoples presence around him. Jeff hadn't come near him again as such considering the heightened security since his little escape plan a few days earlier, but it was the little things he did when he and Nick would be in the cafeteria or passing out in the grounds. He would stare at Nick in the most peculiar way. Every time Nick sat down in the mess hall, he could feel a pair of eyes leering at him, and he knew who it was. It was the same person who would always make the effort to walk a little closer to his bench in the courtyard, the same person who seemed so fascinated by his presence after his counselling session with Dr. Morgan. Nick knew there was no way that Jeff would be able to come near him again.

But he still felt an unnerving sense of unease;

Like the feeling you get when something awful has just torn apart your life.

Oh, Nicolas knew all about _that_ feeling. He carried on his normal activities though, why wouldn't he?

* * *

A week later, Jeff overheard Monty talking to another guard about the weather forecast- oddly enough. But Jeff heard that there was a storm coming, and a big storm at that. He also heard the unfamiliar guard tell Monty that they didn't get a lot of harsh weather at Atlas, which was lucky because the buildings were so old that they were prone to flooding and power outages, so they would have to evacuate the patients.

Jeff's living block was the oldest building in the grounds.

So the next day when the blackened rain clouds rolled over Atlas, an impending juggernaut, people started getting a little antsy.

And then the thunder came, then the lightening, then the rain.

The guards had never lived to see a storm as bad as the one on them at that moment.

Water began running down the grassy slopes towards the older buildings and soon enough water was trickling in into the cracks under the old wooden doors.

The power out rippled throughout the grounds, starting first at Jeff's building, and then making its way to Nicks block and the communal centre where the mess hall was. And soon enough the guards realised that they couldn't keep their boys in there forever, so one by one, the 20 patients in the high security blocks were taken to the medium security block, which to their dismay was also being evacuated.

"WE CAN'T TAKE THEM TO THE LOW SECURITY; IT'S NOT SAFE FOR THE OTHER PATIENTS!" Red shouted to Monty over the hammering thunder above them.

"WE DON'T HAVE A CHOICE! IT'S THE ONLY PLACE THAT HASN'T FLOODED YET!" Red yelled behind them to the other guards hauling their patients along to go to the low security block, there was a yell of concerned disapproval but they knew in the end they had no choice.

Jeff didn't like the idea until he remembered who lived in the building they were headed to.

* * *

Susanna, who was not only a resident nurse, was also part of the night staff at Atlas, and when she heard about the other patients joining them, she ordered everyone to get to their dorms immediately, running after them with a large hook of keys jiggling in her hand and a bright torch in the other, locking the dead bolts on the doors just in case one of the new boys did get away from their guards and go for a little … stroll.

Luckily there was a recreation hall on the ground floor, so the patients were led there, and more guards were ordered in to stop the boys from going more then 5 meters near another patient.

The high risk patients were the only ones who slept soundly that night.

Nick lied in bed, his heart hammering against his chest.

_What if he escapes and gets in here?_

_Why does he have to be in here? _

_Why is the thought of him bothering me so much? Nothing ever bothers me._

_I didn't know things could bother me anymore …_

* * *

The outlook didn't look good for anyone the next morning. The rain had almost stopped, but a lot of the buildings were completely flooded and not at all suitable for anyone to re-enter just yet.

"You know," Jeff began after the announcement, "If you're short on space you should just let us leave, problem fucking solved."

"Yeah, nice try." Red muttered in return

"Where are the other imbeciles that live here then? Are they upstairs being whipped because they aren't crazy enough?" Jeff snickered to himself

"Yeah totally, we're big fans of patient abuse here." Monty replied sarcastically

Jeff gasped dramatically "CORRUPTION! CORRUPTION IN THE SHIT HOLE-,"

"QUIET DOWN, MR STERLING!" A burly looking guard called from the opposite side of the room.

Jeff started laughing and Reds head rolled back onto the wall behind him and closed his eyes.

He could only hope that the flooding would be sorted out by tomorrow.

* * *

Nick woke to Susanna nudging lightly at his shoulder'

"Honey, time to wake up."

Nick gave her a pleading look; he hated waking up considering sleep was his only temporary escape from his miserable life.

"Come on, you can go outside now, but you have to go out the building a different way today, the other patients are still in the rec room."

Nick's body tensed with fear, pulling his mind out of its post sleep haze.

_He's still down there._

He looked around at the other guys who were going out their … normal habits, nobody else seemed to be freaking out, well not about the high security patients that is, one of the patients named Daniel was rocking back and forth in the corner of the room wailing about some baby. Nick didn't know or care why.

Nick got dressed, brushed his teeth, and then waited until Susanna started letting other people out before leaving the building with the rest of them.

It really had pissed it down the previous night.

The whole glade was sopping, the trees dripping large droplets of rain water off their leaves onto the ground below. He walked down the gravel path to the main courtyard behind Morgan's office and headed, of course, to his regular spot on the bench. It was socking wet, but he sat down anyway, wrapping his old goose down coat around his shoulders tightly as the wind howled around him.

He must have been sitting there for a good half hour just listening to the trees swishing around behind him when he heard the door to his living quarter bang open.

Then he heard voices.

And then he started to get worried.

He was worried that the guy he was most afraid of might be lurking around somewhere near him.

And that's when it hit him.

He was beginning to _feel_ again.

For the first time in 5 years, he didn't feel like he was dead inside.

He didn't like it.

* * *

"Are you going to at least pretend to behave if we go outside?" Monty asked Jeff as a few other patients were being guided out the door.

"No." He replied bluntly.

"Ok, let me put it this way; are you going to try and hurt anyone if we go outside?"

Jeff was silent for a second

"Nahh, I'm too tired right now. Maybe later."

"Alrighty then, let's go."

Jeff hauled himself up and began towards the door, Monty in front of him, and Red behind. The security guards tensed as he passed; ready to pounce in case he attempted another great escape.

They walked outside into the mid autumn air

"Fuck me, it's cold. Screw this shit, I'm going back ins-," Jeff was cut off at the sight of someone.

Nick.

"Actually, forget that."

He began up the gravel path quickly, not waiting for either guard to catch up with him.

Monty was the first to spot who he was heading toward.

"Jeff, stop."

To his surprise, Jeff stopped.

"Why? You fuckers were the ones that wanted to come out here."

"Stay away from him."

"Stay away from_ who_?"

"You know who," He replied in an acidic tone "Jeff I don't understand why you are suddenly interested in him, but you need to stay away, he's a good kid and we don't want you anywhere near him."

"Well I don't give a fuck what either of you want. If I want to talk to him I fucking well will."

"No you won't."

Jeff chuckled quietly

"Watch me."

He carried on up the path to the courtyard

"JEFF!" Monty almost screamed, pulling a pair of handcuffs out of his holster.

"Monty, wait!" Red shouted after him.

"What? Help me!"

"No, come back here, please just trust me."

Monty stopped and turned around as Red caught up to him.

"He's going to hurt him!" He yelled, flinging an arm in Jeff's direction.

"No, he isn't."

"How the hell would you know? You're such an idiot you left his room unlocked at night! Who the hell does that? You let him escape!" He yelled, turning back to the path.

"Exactly!"

He stopped again

"What?!"

"He was out here with Nick for at least 15 minutes the other week and did he hurt him?"

Monty thought for a second.

"No … but …"

"You and I both know if Jeff wanted to hurt him he would have done it by now."

They both became silent.

"Look." Red whispered, pointing to where Jeff had been heading.

And there they saw something neither of them had come to witness before. Jeff was just sitting there, next to Nick, not talking, not moving, not … doing anything really.

"It … it doesn't make sense."

"I know, and I don't know what his motives are but he's not be aggressive or anything. I don't think he wants to harm Nick."

"What does he want with him then? It can't be to talk. Nick doesn't talk."

"I have no idea."

"Shit … we need to get him though, we can't leave him alone with another patient, and Morgan will go crazy."

"Just give a minute; it's nice not being constantly harassed by him every twenty seconds."

Monty laughed quietly in agreement.

* * *

There was a chance Nick had never been as scared in his life as he was at that very moment, and the fact that he was scared, in turn scared him even more.

_This guy is a maniac,_ he just kept repeating to himself over and over again

Monty and Red weren't there, _where were Monty and Red?!_

Every time he would sneak a glance at the boy next to him, he would find that Jeff's stance remained unchanged. He was just sitting there.

Nick was too paralysed with fear to move away.

After what seemed like an eternity had passed, he almost wanted Jeff to at least hit him or something, but he didn't.

He stayed perfectly still. _Creepily still_.

But eventually Monty and Red came over and Jeff went willingly. Monty apologised to him and patted his shoulder before joining Jeff and Red on the way to the mess hall.

Nick felt a warm tear slide down his frozen cheek.

* * *

**TBC**


	5. Chapter 5

Nick decided that he hated Jeff, and Nick also decided he wasn't scared of him any longer. Nick was too afraid of what was happening to himself.

For Nick was loosing the immaculate control he had accumulated of the past few years. He had taught himself to feel nothing, to lock any emotion up in a dark place in side of him.

But the bolts were coming unlocked and Nick was beginning to feel again. In most cases of the human brain, emotion is simply something you feel. It's harmless most of the time and nobody really thinks too much of what it can actually do to a person. Nick was not one of these people.

Nick had found over his short life that the only real feeling he was able to feel was sadness.

Simple sadness.

And he could feel the familiar feeling of dread seeping back into his being.

It made his skin crawl. He hated that he was beginning to wake up every morning and feel nothing else but sadness. He hated that everything he had shielded himself from in the past was suddenly rushing back up to the surface, being pushed into his tired face.

Everything was suddenly too close, and Nick was _suffocating._

He was beginning to remember too. Some small memories, some big.

The small memories weren't the problem.

The big ones however …

December 1957

_Nick stood in his small, immaculate bedroom, with his dark brown hair neatly gelled to the side, his white shirt and blue slacks neatly pressed. He took off his shoes and placed then under his bed. His mother would hate for him to get blood on his best dress shoes. He sat down on the edge of his bed. There was a small wooden box next to it. He plucked the bolts open and pushed the lid off to reveal a small black handgun that he had stolen from his mothers closet while she had been out. He took the gun from the felt lining and placed a single bullet in the slot. He looked over to his dresser. There was a folded note to his mom, a farewell letter of some sorts, he was never one to gush, so he simply put 'Please don't blame yourself; I'm sorry for failing you like father did.'_

_Nick slotted his index finger through the trigger hook and lifted the gun to his temple. _

_He liked the feel of the cool metal rim against his warm temple. _

_It comforted him in a way no therapist ever could._

_Nick knew that this was the only way that he could escape. He couldn't quite explain it but everything felt wrong to him. He didn't think the way other people did. He was stuck in a constant circuit of panic, depression, hatred, anger, panic, depression, hatred, anger … and he found that he couldn't control it any longer, it had consumed him like a flesh eating bacteria._

_Nick was so wrapped up in the act he was about to commit that he didn't hear the soft footsteps coming up the stairs. He didn't hear the padding against the floor coming towards his room. _

_He was about to pull the trigger when –thump- the door went as it hit the wall behind it._

_He took his finger off the trigger._

_Footsteps came towards him, and before he knew it, his mother had fallen too her knees before him. Her hand wrapped around the gun and pulled it away from his grasp._

_He didn't dare meet her eyes._

"_Nick …" She whispered, cupping his face with her hands "Darling what are you doing with dads gun?"_

_He said nothing_

"_What were you doing, my love?" She continued, her voice cracking slightly_

"_I'm sorry, Mom, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry …" He repeated like a mantra as he fell into her arms, beginning to sob loudly and painfully._

Nick winced at the memory.

He cursed himself internally. Being numb he could deal with, forever if he had to. But this?

This was his biggest fear.

* * *

Monty and Red were also facing their own problems; problems of a different sort. They had orders, orders that they were forbidden to stray from if they wanted to keep their jobs.

But Monty and Red were the rare exception to the normally emotionless guards who worked and lived at Atlas, for Monty and Red actually cared about their patients. They, like Dr Morgan, simply wanted to help the boys at the institute get better, instead of just locking them up and throwing away the key, letting them rot there until their last days of painful insanity.

"So what are we gonna do?" Red began when Jeff finally drifted off into a deep sleep on a makeshift bed on the floor of the recreation room.

"About what?" Monty yawned, letting his eyes drift shut sleepily.

"Jeff and Nick."

"Oh, right."

"What are we going to do?"

"Well _technically_ it's our job to keep Jeff from getting too close to any of the other patients, specifically Nick, so ..."

"Well yeah, _technically _that's our job."

Monty scooted his chair nearer to Red quietly

"But we both know that Jeff probably doesn't want to hurt him, and Nick's not gonna provoke him or anything, so … I don't think it's going to hurt anyone if they just … sit together every now and then. Hell, Jeff might annoy Nick so much we might actually get to hear his voice sometime soon."

Red laughed quietly

"Oh my god, what if that actually happened though? How long has he been here?"

Monty frowned for a moment "A little over a year I think."

"Jesus …"

"I know …"

"But what if he actually did start talking to Jeff?"

Monty snorted "It would be a miracle."

"Exactly."

Monty raised an eyebrow

"… What?"

"All Morgan has wanted since Nick arrived was for him to talk. If Jeff could get him to talk, then he might not be so strict about Jeff being around Nick."

Monty propped himself up in his chair

"And you think that Jeff would be able to do that?"

"I don't know … well, Jeff is pretty scary … but of course we don't actually know if Nick gets scared easily so that's irrelevant. Maybe we could get Jeff to try and talk to him? …"

"HAH," Monty scoffed a little too loudly "Don't be stupid, Jeff's not gonna do anything unless he chooses to himself, and he ain't gonna help Nick if it's the last thing he does."

"What about Morgan? He might-,"

"Red, you and I both know that Morgan doesn't want them near each other. Don't talk to him about this, I swear to god."

Red simply blinked at him. He knew the idea was crazy.

But was that really going to stop him?

* * *

Morgan sat in his dimly lit office the next day, thankful that the power had begun to turn back on, but the repairs hadn't yet reached his office yet, so he had had to resort to using candles and a roaring fire for light sources. He heard a soft knock at his door.

He wasn't expecting any patients today.

"Come in." He called hesitantly

The door swung open slowly and there stood Red, looking about as exhausted as Morgan felt.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Sir, but I was wondering if I could talk to you about something, if you have the time?"

Morgan nodded and waved to the seat in front of him, and Red walked over quickly, and took it

"What can I help you with, Jared?"

"I wanted to talk to you about Jeff … and Nick."

Morgan cocked an eyebrow

"I see. I trust you and Mr Montgomery have been following your orders and keeping them apart."

"Yes, sir, that's actually what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Go on." He said, his brow line crunching together.

"Well you see, given Jeff's … impulsive behaviour, would you not agree with me that if Jeff did want to hurt Nick, he would have already done it when he had the chance last week?"

"Perhaps."

"Exactly, so maybe, just_ maybe _Jeff doesn't actually want to hurt Nick?"

"Of course I've considered it. But I think taking into account Jeff's 'impulsive behaviour'; we can't afford to take any risks with such a character as him."

"But sir, I … we really don't think that he wants to hurt Nick, we think he just likes being around someone who doesn't bother him for once."

"We? Jared, if you spent more time actually guarding your patient rather than talking about him to your colleague then maybe he wouldn't have gotten loose last week and attacked one of our best security guards."

"So you're not even going to give Jeff a chance?"

"Why would I?"

"Everyone deserves a second chance."

Morgan began to laugh.

"Young man, Mr. Sterling has had more than enough second chances in his life, and he is now in a mental institute under 24 hour constant supervision, you have no idea what Jeff is capable of or what he has done, so I suggest you and your partner do as you are instructed and do your job, which is in fact guarding one of our_ most _dangerouspatients, might I add. So no, to answer your question, I will never compromise any of my patient's safety, even if it means upsetting another patient … or their guards. I'm not here to help people make friends, I'm here to help people rehabilitate their lives, and so are you, nothing more."

Red sighed.

"Fine. Thank you for your time."

Red left, feeling an unusual amount of anger towards the almighty doctor Morgan.

* * *

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

"Don't be mad at me." Red said as he met up with Monty and a very withdrawn looking Jeff in the mess hall.

Monty frowned, "Why would I be?"

"I spoke to Morgan."

"You did … oh for god sakes Red. I told you not to!"

"I know! I know … I just thought I could help."

"Why do you have to be such a moron?" Monty spat

"I'm not," Red replied quietly "I'm just sick of this."

"Sick of what?"

"I'm sick of sitting by doing nothing while …" At that moment, Red took a proper look at Jeff, and he realised that he hadn't made one snarky comment or any attempt to sneak into the kitchen to steal matches, he was just sitting there silently, staring into his empty bowl.

"What the hell happened to him?" Red whispered to Monty as quietly as humanly possible

Monty shrugged "I have no idea; he hasn't said one word today."

"Is … is he on drugs … has he started taking his medication?"

Monty shook his head, "He has a session with Morgan today, maybe he's building up his energy …?"

"Jeff?" Red called out

Jeff didn't respond

"Jeff."

They waited a few seconds

He stood up slowly and over his shoulder said coldly "I'm going out now, you can follow me if you want."

He then proceeded to push his chair away and walk slowly over to the door, pulling it open with Red and Monty following quickly behind him.

"Jeff, you have to go to Morgan's office in 10 minutes."

"I'm going now." He replied, turning away from them towards Morgan's building.

"You're not allowed."

"Says who?"

"You know Nick has his session before you."

"Oh fuck off." He mumbled, not veering from his path towards Morgan's.

Monty groaned in frustration and ran up to catch up with Jeff.

Red didn't quite know what to do.

* * *

It was that day that Morgan realised something had shifted. He knew it as soon as Nick walked into his office. He still wasn't talking, no, not by a long shot, but he seemed … different.

But it was when Jeff burst into the room looking almost _haggard_ that Morgan knew something was changing. As soon as Nick saw Jeff he was up like a shot and out of the door and Morgan swore he saw a glimpse of something in Nick's eyes.

Anger.

He saw anger.

"Mr. Sterling. Why don't you take a seat?"

Jeff scowled at him and walked over. Monty and Red didn't bother apologising for Jeff's interruption. Morgan had probably seen it a hundred times before.

"And how are you today?"

Jeff shrugged lazily

"I trust you haven't been misbehaving since our last meeting."

Jeff laughed quietly, "Jesus fucking Christ, you sound like my mother … _did_"

"Is that so? Then I take it she was quite strict with you, was she?"

Jeff shrugged "I suppose so."

"And what about your father?"

"Oh him? he was practically Victorian. Would threaten me with a gun if I ever so much as _spoke."_

"I don't think that's quite true." Morgan interjected

"And what do _you_ know?"

"I read the report on your family just before you came here, it's standard policy. They were good people, they were _decent_ people."

"They were no better than any of the other festering beings who walk this miserable earth."

"They loved you."

"No they didn't."

"Yes they did. They loved you and they trusted you, despite your condition."

"That just proves they were never a bright bunch, not even my worthlessly educated father."

"Jeffry, I understand your negative feelings toward your family, but why did you have to _kill_ them, what did they do that was so awful that they had to die?"

"Nothing. They did nothing, that's the point. They were worthless, spineless people who did nothing but look down on me. I wasn't just going to sit idle by as they spent their whole lives disapproving of who I was."

"Mr. Sterling, they weren't disapproving of who you were, they were scared of who you were."

Jeff nodded. "Like I said. _Spineless_."

"You think feeling fear makes you spineless?"

"Yes. It makes you weak, that's why they died so easily. They had no fight in them. _They couldn't fight the fear._"

"I see. So if my assumptions are correct, you think people who have _phobias _are weak?"

"Yep, you're all weak. And that's why I detest all humans, including_ you_ and every other cunt face that wastes their insignificant time in this shit hole."

"And what about Nick? Do you hate him too?"

Jeff's bloodshot eyes met Morgan's "What?"

"Nick. You seemed to have been quite taken with him last week."

Jeff tipped his head back pressing two fingers against the sides of the bridge of his nose.

"I don't like Nick. He just doesn't constantly piss me off like all you fuckers do."

"You know you aren't allowed near him, don't you, Mr. Sterling?"

Jeff leaned back up and tilted his head to the side

"What are you so scared of me doing?"

Morgan looked at him dumbfounded

"I don't want you harming anymore people then you already have."

"Morgan, I don't know if you've noticed, but I only hurt people if I have a reason to. I only hurt those security guards because they are annoying cunts who never leave me alone."

"What about your family and your housekeeper? What was your reason for them?"

Jeff smiled widely at Morgan,

"They knew what was wrong with me, and they didn't care. They were asking for it."

"You think they wanted you to burn them alive?"

"They left fucking matches lying around, how could I not? That house was so deliciously flammable …"

"Jeff, do you feel no remorse for your actions?"

"No," Jeff started smiling again "It was very enjoyable to watch my fathers ugly face being singed off, my mothers too. I can't quite decide what I liked more; their screams or their bodies being mangled up by that beautiful fire."

Morgan's face became expressionless.

"What about your sister? She was only 14, Jeff, she did nothing wrong, you could have saved her."

"And then she would have ended up just like them. I did her a favour."

"And what about you? Why did you stay in the house? You could have died too, you had 3rd degree burns on your back, you were in hospital for five months."

Jeff shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Battle wounds. Proof of victory. That's the way I see it."

Morgan removed his glasses from his wrinkly face and sighed slowly.

"I see. Thank you for your time, Mr. Sterling, I'll see you in a week."

Jeff got up and kicked the chair out from underneath him

"Yeah, you wish." He muttered as he headed to the door, turned the brass knob open, and left.

Morgan was left feeling no more accomplishment than he did before Jeff had walked into the door. And it wasn't until that moment that Morgan realised that for once in his lengthily career, he felt completely hopeless for a patient.

Deep down he knew there was probably nothing he could do change Jeff.

But he wasn't going to stop trying.

No, not for one minute.

* * *

**June 1960**

_Jeff's family was gathered around the large oak dining room table. Jeff sat opposite his sister, who was 2 years younger than him. _

"_Alice," His mother began their untouched food laid out before them "Would you care to say grace?"_

_Jeff rolled his eyes and made a sound of disgust. His sister gave him a pleading look._

"_Yes mother," She replied quietly, "Bless this food O Lord, and ourselves to Thy loving service; that we may always continue in Thy faith and fear to the honour and glory of Thy Name, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen."_

"_A-FUCKING-MEN!" Jeff hollered_

"_Jeffry." His mother spat._

"_Oh my, I do apologise for my crass behaviour, mother, I just don't appreciate the fact that we have to thank a guy that doesn't exist for food that you got from the store."_

_His father dropped his head into his hands,_

"_Jeff, why can't you just be a normal human being for 5 minutes and not make such rude comments?"_

"_Because that's boring."_

"_Why do you have to be so difficult?"_

"_Why do you have to be so cockroachy?"_

"_JEFF!" His mother almost yelled "Leave. Go to your room."_

_Jeff couldn't help but laugh. "Fine."_

_So Jeff waited, an hour or so, mindlessly flicking the ignition of his lighter back and forth, watching the small flame burst and die, burst and die. He knew his beloved family would be getting ready for bed soon, and he knew this was the time that he had to strike, they were at their most unsuspecting hour, and the humidity outside made for perfect wildfire conditions.. Jeff pulled out a small canister of lighter fluid from his bedside cabinet, and pocketed his old silver lighter he had inherited from his grandfather. He uncapped the lighter fluid and walked out of his bedroom into the long, empty hallway. He tipped the fluid canister upside down and began to drip the liquid along the bland grey carpet. When he got to his parents room, he sprayed it up the door, making sure to cover the door handle completely, just to make sure they got a nasty burn if they tried to get out. He then did the same with his sister's door. He poured the remainder of the liquid onto a drapery close by and flicked his lighter open where a small flame burst out of the ignition. He dropped it at the base of the curtain and watched as the small flame consumed the whole of the dense fabric. _

_He watched as the flames in front of him started spitting out small singed pieces of fabric that caught onto the carpet and began weaving bursts of fire down the hallway towards the bedrooms. The fire licked its way up the wood panelled walls and soon enough it was spreading like wildfire, he knew he should have moved, got himself to safety, but he couldn't. He couldn't stop staring at the beauty unfolding in front of him, and he was only snapped out of his trance when he heard the screaming coming from his sister's room. _

"_JEFF! JEFF! PLEASE!"_

"_JEFF!" She screamed even louder_

"_I CAN'T OPEN MY DOOR, JEFF, I CAN'T BREATHE! PLEASE I DON'T WANT TO DIE!"_

"_Oh shut up." He mumbled._

_As the heat increased, and the walls around him became engulfed in amber and yellow, Jeff could only think that he didn't mind if he never made it out of the house, he didn't mind if he died there, because if there really was heaven and hell, then at least he knew for sure that the Paradiso would not be the place he was headed_

_He knew he would like hell just fine._

_And then before he knew it the fire had spread to the lower level of the house, and smoke was clouding the already musty air, making it painfully difficult to breathe. But Jeff couldn't move; for he was too infatuated with the perfect little hell he had created from nothing._

_But when he realised that he couldn't hear his family's terrified yells anymore he feared they might have escaped through a window, so he stumbled through the flames towards his parent's bedroom, shoving open the already half collapsed door. _

_They were unconscious, or dead, he couldn't tell, his fathers body on the floor, his mothers slumped against one of their bed posts._

_He stared at their limp, lifeless bodies, almost feeling a sense of pride at his achievement._

_They looked like ugly broken rag dolls._

_But at that moment, Jeff was tragically unaware of the growing heat spreading up the back of his legs, catching onto his expensively flammable dinner jacket._

_Then there was an almighty crack as the ceiling collapsed and caved in, crushing Jeff's burning body into the floor._

_And then everything went black._

_Jeff woke up in the hospital a week later, his legs bound at the ankle to prevent him escaping, and two armed police officers standing by the door. He was so light headed, that the days after he woke up he constantly wondered what was a dream and what was real. His nurse told him that that was just a side effect of the drugs he was on for the pain._

"_Pain?" He asked wearily_

"_For your back."_

_He didn't know what she talking about_

"_Mr. Sterling, you suffered 3rd degree burns on almost a third of your body. You were half dead when they found you."_

_He reached over his waist behind him and felt the bandages wrapped around his torso, it stung like hell when he applied even the smallest amount of pressure._

"_Oh, of course, yeah. Did they all die?" He asked excitedly_

_The nurse looked horrified_

"_Yes, they were all burnt to death. All but you."_

_And on that note, he burst out laughing._

* * *

"Jeff, we have to go back to the rec room … where are you going?" Monty asked as Jeff began veering away from Nick's building on his way back from Morgan's office

"I don't have to go anywhere with either of you, I'm going for a walk."

"Oh no you're not." Monty replied, yanking Jeff towards him by his arm.

"Get your fucking hands off me!" He yelled, shoving Monty off him violently

"You need to stop thinking you can just do what you want, whenever you want! There are rules and you need to follow them!"

"Oh Monty, Monty, _Monty_ … shut the fuck up and go away."

Monty's jaw fell open

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Fuck off."

Monty was about to lunge for Jeff when Red caught his arms, shoving him back

"Monty, don't, it's not worth it," He said, pushing Monty back a little more with his finger. "Jeff, where are you going?"

"That's none of your fucking business."

"Are you going to find Nick?"

Jeff frowned at him "Why the fuck would I do that?"

Red glanced around quickly, checking for any lurking security guards

"If you're going to find Nick, you can go; I think he's just over there." He gestured to the main courtyard

"Red what are you d-," Monty interjected

"No it's fine," Red interrupted "But we need to be able to see you at all times."

"Is this some kind of joke?" Jeff asked, any hard tone in his voice lost

"No, go if you want. If not you can come with us."

Jeff's face became expressionless for a moment, before he swivelled around and started towards where Nick apparently was. He glanced behind him every few seconds, expecting to find them following, but they weren't. He walked up around the back of the trees, careful to avoid any wandering guards, who he knew would have no reservations tackling him to the ground and pumping him full of drugs.

He cornered the glade and caught sight of the bench.

But no Nick

And then his heart sunk

And he froze

_No, no, no._

_This can't be happening_

_No._

_Impossible._

After a minute or so, he straightened up and strode over to the bench, sitting down slowly, looking around as he did for any sign of … anything.

It was an unseasonably warm day, so waiting wasn't so bad. Being outside almost felt nice

So he waited

And he waited

He didn't know what he was waiting for, so he just sat and waited for nothing.

But when he heard approaching footsteps, he realised there had been something he was waiting for.

He kept his gaze on the floor, and the footsteps got closer and closer, until a figure stopped in front of him.

He swore to himself if it was Morgan he would have no hesitation to punch his face in.

He looked up.

The eyes that met him weren't the dark blue of Doctor Morgan's though; they were the brown eyes that Jeff felt unusually comfortable around.

And then they just stared at each other, for god knows how long. Jeff tried to look away, but he couldn't, he didn't want to.

But then something happened that even Jeff didn't expect.

Nick frowned slightly, took in a deep breath, and then;

"It's Jeff, right?"

* * *

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Jeff could only blink at the boy standing in front of him, slightly agitated that he didn't have some witty, crass remark to reply with. He was also _slightly_ annoyed that he didn't know Nick spoke

_If I'd known he talked I wouldn't have gone near him, fucking idiot._

Nick took a deep breath, still adjusting to the unfamiliar sound of his voice and use of his vocal cords

"Ok … well I was just curious as to whether or not you wanted something from me?" The tone of his voice turning ever so slightly acidic as the words came out.

Jeff stood up, causing Nick to step back a few feet in retreat.

"No. I'm just staying out of …_trouble_."

Nick nodded, his gaze flickering to the floor.

Neither of them said anything for a moment or so, and Jeff eventually realised that Nick had been waiting for him to leave. He made a disgruntled noise, and then trudged off towards where he knew Monty and Red would have been spying on him.

"You people are complete fucking idiots." He called out to his guards as he approached them

"What?" A confused and sort of pissed Monty asked

"Well if you people actually had an active brain cell between each other you might of realised that your friend Nick? He talks."

"Wait … what? No he doesn't."

"Yes he fucking does." Jeff replied, hints of anger seeping into his voice

"Yeah … alright, Jeff, come on." Monty sighed, pushing Jeff in front of him and towards Nicks building.

Red lingered behind, Monty turned around,

"You coming or what?"

"I'll … uhh … catch up."

"Righto …"

Monty and Jeff wandered off, Jeff flinching whenever Monty placed a hand on his shoulder to make his go faster, of course.

Red waited until they were out of sight before he turned around and jogged up to the courtyard where Nick was.

He approached him carefully, not wanting to scare the voice out of him if Jeff had been telling the truth. He was sitting on his bench, as per usual, doing nothing but staring into the air in front of him. Red sat down next to him.

They sat in silence for a minute or so, Red not knowing whether Nick had realised he was there.

"I'm sorry about Jeff."

Nick just blinked, not averting his gaze, not moving.

"If he's annoying you we can keep him away from you … I mean I know we're supposed to but … he just seems calm around you …"

Nothing.

"He said you spoke to him … did you?"

Nick didn't respond, and Red was about to give up, but …

"You know it's funny, I forgot what my voice sounded like." Nick half whispered, still not looking at Red.

Red's eyebrows shot up, his jaw falling open. He tried to respond, but he couldn't. Jeff had apparently done what was ultimately deemed impossible by almost everyone.

He made Nick speak.

Red almost felt like laughing for a second, mainly because there had been many heated debates between himself and Monty on what it would be like to actually hear him talk. Monty usually tried to wager bets with other guards on the chances of Nick actually coming out with an Irish accent if he ever did actually talk. Nick didn't have an Irish accent though. More like New England. Very proper, eloquent almost, from what he had just briefly heard, nothing like Jeff's pseudo Virginian accent that sometimes wavered into southern when ever he got _really_ mad.

Nick finally looked at him, his eyebrows knitted together tightly.

"Is it really that shocking?"

Red chuckled quietly

"Well … yeah actually."

"It's a shame. I worked so hard."

"On what?"

"Drowning everyone out, making myself feel invisible."

"But you don't need to! You never needed to!"

"_I did_. I still do. Everything is ruined now, because of _him."_

"Why … what did he do?"

"_I don't know, _I don't … I can't … he made me feel again … I don't know how."

"He didn't do anything to you, did he?"

"No … that's the thing. He did nothing and _this_ happened."

And in that moment, Red felt an almost painful amount of pity towards Nick. Because never in his life time had he been in the presence of someone who clearly hated themselves as much as Nick did right then, and he was clueless on what to do.

Red was about to make an attempt at a response when Nick slowly shuffled off the bench

"I'm just going to go for a walk."

"Sure … yeah," Red replied kindly "Oh and Nick? The power came back on in our building, so we … we'll make sure that he won't be bothering you any more."

Nick nodded, and walked away.

* * *

"He wasn't lying, by the way." Red told Monty as the three of them walked back to Jeff's building an hour or so later

"'Bout what?"

"Nick. I talked to him."

Monty grabbed Red's arm "You serious?"

"Yes he is, morons, like I told you." Jeff interjected, turning around to glare at them

"Oh yeah, bout that. Jeff, I think you need to stay away from him for a while."

"Well you've certainly changed your tune, but fine."

"…sorry?"

"Fine. I don't care."

Monty and Red exchanged confused looks, and Monty shook his head, signalling that they shouldn't comment. Jeff clearly didn't want to make an argument out of the situation, for maybe the first time ever.

* * *

That evening, when the grounds were silent apart from the soft crunching of the gravel beneath the feet's of the night guards outside, Jeff couldn't sleep and he couldn't quite figure out why. He tossed and turned for hours on end, constantly frustrated at his sudden bout of insomnia. He thought about waking up Red, who was on night duty with him, but then decided against it. He didn't like Red anymore than his inability to sleep. He sat up in bed, swinging his legs over the side and dropped his elbows onto his thighs, his head in his hands.

_Something's bothering you, a quiet voice in the back of his mind stated lazily_

_No there's not_, he replied internally

_Yes there is. Is it Morgan?_

_No. _

_Those two buffoons that follow you around? _

_They always bother me._

… _Nick?_

_What? _

_Nick. He's the one who's bothering you, can't you see?_

_No. Shut up._

_Just admit it, you like him._

_No I don't. How can I, I don't like anyone._

_And that is what's bothering you. You don't like the feeling of actually wanting to be in the company of someone._

_Shut up._

_If you really wanted me to shut up, you would make me. You did when you killed Alice, and your mother, and your father._

_That was different._

_In what way?_

Jeff smacked the side of his head

"Shut up." He hissed to himself quietly.

_It's true._

"Shut the fuck up!" He yelled, loud enough to awaken Red, who promptly fell out of his chair. He then scrambled up and pulled a large ring of keys out of his pocket. He fumbled for a second, still drowsy with sleep, then unlocked Jeff's door, swinging it open quickly

"What happened?" He mumbled, rubbing his eyes

"Nothing. You must have been having one of your sex dreams again."

Red groaned, pressing his finger into his temples

"Right, ok. Go to sleep, Jeff."

Jeff flicked his middle finger up at him and climbed under his scratchy sheets.

_You don't like him. That's impossible._ He told himself repeatedly until he finally fell asleep.

* * *

Nick felt relieved to be back in the almost safety of his building without having 20 or so complete psychopaths sleeping only two floors below him. But he couldn't sleep either; he had different things on his mind. For he knew that his sudden re-entrance into the world of the living hadn't just been a fluke, something was changing, something was coming. And he didn't want to know why Jeff was to blame. He also didn't know why he had had to speak. He was doing so well. It had been over a year and people didn't bother to pay him any attention anymore, he was just they boy who never spoke, but now Jeff knew, and Red, and if Red knew then Monty would know and god knows who Monty would tell, and so the names would just keep stacking up until it reached Morgan and if Morgan found out then the chances were that he would haul Nick into his office for a good old chat and a nice drilling into the uncomfortable issue of his past. Not to mention a sure phone call home to his mother telling her about the amazing progress that had been made with her no longer reclusive son. Nick's stomach began to twist and he felt a familiar sinking feeling of utter despair. He knew that he couldn't stop Red or Monty or even Jeff from telling, their mouths were all as big as each others. Nick knew it wasn't everyone finding out about him talking that was the issue; it was the problems that came with it. He didn't want to go into his past; he didn't want to visit that time of his life. Hell, he didn't want to re-visit any of his life. He knew that if even a shred of his past was brought up, it would simply slice open and infect the old wounds that he had hid behind his fortress walls for so many years.

But then he had a thought.

What if he did … talk to Morgan? Morgan _would_ tell his mother.

People who get better get to leave, if only for a week or two at first.

His mother was stupid, he felt bad for thinking so but it was true. He could get her to leave him home alone for an hour or two. He cursed himself silently for not thinking of this sooner.

* * *

So that's what happened. Nick suddenly realised that there was no point waiting, no point festering away anymore. He needed to get out, and soon too. He was under constant watch at Atlas, and only recently had he noticed that it wasn't just the guards watching, no.

It was an odd feeling, to suddenly feel alive again. He felt like someone had grabbed him by the hair, sprayed water in his eyes, and repeatedly yelled at him "LOOK! LOOK AT WHERE YOU ARE, YOU IDIOT! WAKE. UP."

Nick started to notice everything.

For starters, Atlas was huge, previously unbeknownst to him. There were over 100 patients there, who lived in precisely 4 different buildings, all ranked according to risk level. In his building, there were the 'Depressed', 'PTSD Sufferers', and 'Yellers' (People who had no recognisable disorder, but simply spent their days yelling and screaming and crying). Nick didn't quite know what the next two levels were yet but he knew that the high risk patients were the most terrifying. They were the psychopaths. The ones who had no hope of ever leaving Atlas or being normal, the one's who, according to a vague rumour he heard at lunch one day were the one's who were 'ultimately disposed of if they didn't end themselves first.'. He also found that Atlas was actually built on a great hilltop with the ocean behind it; he genuinely couldn't believe that he didn't even notice the ocean.

He didn't like the feeling of feeling, of noticing things, no, because now he was behind enemy lines, fighting with his own conscience to keep the demons out, and he was struggling.

So when he made his way to Morgan's office that weekend, he didn't quite know where to begin or if he was even going to begin.

He wanted to leave, more than anything. But he just couldn't bring himself to talk again.

"_Nick, take a seat." Morgan said, a tinge of excitement leaking into his usually composed tone._

"_How are we today?"_

_Nick tilted his head to the side slightly. He knew._

"_Oh come now, Nicolas. Not even one word?"_

_He narrowed his eyes._

"_Mr. Duval, Believe it or not, I am the director of this institute, it is my business to know everything that happens. I spoke with Mr. Jared yesterday. He informed me of a conversation the two of you had. I just have one question though. Why Jeff?"_

_Nick raised his eyebrows, questioningly _

_Morgan caught the action "Let me reiterate. What did Jeff do to you to make you speak?"_

_Nick shook his head without thinking. He didn't know._

"_Nick, I've told you this countless times before. All I want to do is help you get better, and I'm afraid that I can't do that without patient cooperation."_

_Nick exhaled loudly_

_He couldn't do it._

Morgan even tried to recruit Susanna at one point, telling her if she could get him talking again there would be a nice fat bonus coming her way. She refused; she wasn't going to force Nick to do anything.

Morgan couldn't ask Red and Monty, they were too preoccupied with Jeff and he didn't want them getting anymore involved than they already were, considering that they are only in the security sector.

No, Morgan needed advice from an alias. He knew who would know what to do, but he was hesitant.

He mulled over the idea for a day or two before deciding to call him.

Morgan picked up the telephone and entered the number, and waited for approximately 2 rings before he picked up

"Doctor Abraham."

"Abe. It's Morgan."

"Ah, long time no speak."

"Well I felt it was time to catch up, how is your vacation going?"

Abe chuckled quietly "Wonderful. Maybe if you would let me come back to do my job I wouldn't have to be away for so long."

Morgan sighed. He knew it was a slight extremity asking Abe to leave for a while, but Abe had an annoying tendency which made him hate almost every patient at Atlas, and Morgan couldn't have him around while Jeff was busy fucking with the security system in place there. The only reason Morgan had hired him was because he was an excellent doctor and surgeon, and given the amount of accidents with patients that happen at Atlas, he couldn't give up a man like that. But Morgan knew Abe had plans for Jeff.

Plans that Abe would have no hesitations executing if need be.

"My word, Abe, can't you just enjoy your time off?"

"Not when I know there are Pyromaniacs with anger issues roaming around your grounds with Jared and Montgomery guarding them."

"I can assure you, Abe, that Jeff is in our highest security quarters, and he's not hurting anyone."

"Ah. So that's why you really called."

"Sorry?"

"If it wasn't because of him you would've brushed that comment right off. What's he done?"

"He hasn't done anything, something else has happened."

"Involving him?"

"In a way, yes."

Abe didn't reply, and Morgan took it as a cue to continue.

"You may be familiar with another patient of mine, Nicolas Duval."

"Ah, yes. He's the funny one, isn't he? Never speaks?"

"Yes. He spoke."

"Oh ... really?"

"Yes, to Jeff."

"I'm sorry?"

"He spoke to Jeff."

"According to whom?"

"Jared Knox."

"Hmm," Abe took a long pause "And what did he say?"

"I have no idea, but I brought him into my office earlier and he was the same as he's always been."

"Morgan, you have considered the fact that Jeff was probably lying, yes?"

"No, he spoke to Jared also."

"Oh. Well that certainly changes things. So now you can't get him to talk to you?"

"No."

"Tut tut Morgan, I thought you would have come up with a simple solution by now. Get Sterling in one of your meetings, of course."

"_Excuse me_?"

"Invite him along, he might add some fuel to the _fire."_

"That's out of the question. I don't want Jeff anywhere near him."

Abe yawned quietly, and then said in a bored tone "Morgan, you wanted my advice. Get them in the same meeting, because if Jeff Sterling is the first person he's talked to in over a year, there must be something about that idiotic psychopath that Nick trusts."

* * *

The next day, Morgan found Susanna on her way to the mess hall and requested that she send Nick to his office at 3pm, then did the same with Monty and Jeff.

And as he requested, 4 hours later, Jeff came in first, trudging into the room with a look of pure spite on his face. Red and Monty loitered by the door, in case things got out of hand.

"What the fuck do you want?"

"Good afternoon to you too."

"Why am I here?" He asked quickly leaning on the back of one of the two chairs placed in front of Morgan's desk.

"Please take a seat."

Jeff frowned at him and complied

"Someone will be joining us in a few moments." Morgan said, an almost undetectable layer of anger seeping into his voice.

"What the fuck, can I go then?"

"No you may not."

Jeff groaned and muttered something that sounded like "_motherfucker_." under his breath.

They both heard the main door of the building open with a soft swoosh, and then footsteps coming towards the office. Morgan looked up from his papers, and Jeff turned around. Nick was standing at the door, his eyes flickering from Morgan down to Jeff and then back to Morgan

He began to back away from the room in retreat, but Monty caught him and pushed him in

"It's fine, Nick." Red whispered.

He looked back at them pleadingly but they didn't let him go. He hesitantly walked into the room, side eyeing Jeff the entire time, quite obviously terrified of what he knew about to happen.

"Hello, Nick."

Of course, he said nothing.

"I hope you'll forgive me for the sudden meeting, I just felt that we needed this."

"Needed _what_?" Jeff interjected as Nick slowly lowered himself onto the chair next to Jeff.

"You two spoke."

"Yes, so?"

Morgan turned his attention to Nick

"Nicolas, I just thought you might be more inclined to talk if we had Jeff here."

"Oh for fuck sakes … did you really drag me here for this shit?" Jeff turned to Nick "Will you just talk so I can go, _please_?"

Nick sat there, frozen, not knowing whether he should make a break for it or not.

"Are you fucking retarded or something?"

"_Mr Sterling_." Morgan hissed, already sick of the failing situation he had been foolish enough to make happen

But it was what happened next that really shocked him.

Jeff glanced at Nick for a second and then simply said

"Sorry."

Morgan blinked incredulously. Jeff actually just _apologised. _He had actually interacted with another human being with something other than disgust or hate.

And then very quietly, in almost a whisper, Nick turned to Jeff and muttered;

"It's fine."

It was at that very moment that both sets of eyes turned to Nick. What shocked Morgan the most though, was the way Nick waslooking at _Jeff_. Like he was scared of him but he also almost_ needed_ him. The intimacy of the look made Morgan feel like he was intruding in the situation, like he should leave.

But it wasn't just Nick who had the look. Jeff's face had also softened into perhaps an _almost_ kind state mixed with an unmistakable amount of curiosity, and it was unlike anything Morgan had seen in his long and hate filled life at Atlas.

He had to clear his throat to get their attention away from each other.

"_Very good_." Morgan whispered to Nick with a kind smile

Jeff didn't say a word. Nick averted is gaze to the floor

They were all silent for a long moment, and then Jeff remembered that he was suppose to not want to be there

"Well this has been great, but unfortunately I have to go now because I fucking hate you people." He announced, before getting up and walking straight out of the room, slamming the door hard behind him. Morgan didn't bother stopping him. He got what he wanted, and perhaps _more_ than he wanted.

"Nick."

Nick looked at him, then back to the floor.

"I'm sorry I had to bring Mr Sterling in, but you must understand that not being able to speak with you is rather frustrating."

Nick nodded, then said very quietly "I understand, and I do apologise."

Morgan couldn't help the smile that crept across his face.

"It's lovely to finally put a voice with the face."

He nodded again, "Doctor Morgan, if you wouldn't mind, I would much rather speak with you another time, I don't quite feel comfortable enough yet."

"Oh well, yes of course, take your time. Hopefully we will be able to talk again at our next meeting."

"Yes, sure." Nick mumbled.

Morgan smiled at him

"May I leave now?" He asked quietly

"Y-yes you may." He replied.

"Thank you."

He left.

Morgan sat there in silence for god knows how long, not really knowing how to process what had just happened. Yes, Nick spoke for the first time since he had arrived, and it was wonderful, it was all Morgan had wanted since their first meeting. But he felt almost unsatisfied. Like there was something left blatantly unsaid. And as hard as Morgan tried, he couldn't quite get the way they were looking at each other out of his mind.

He had seen not only Nick in a different way today, but also_ Jeff_. It was subtle but it was there.

Morgan had seen _hope_ in him. He doubted that Jeff even realised what he was doing, but he saw, if only for a few seconds, Jeff's wall crack slightly, he saw a look in his face that was so oddly comforting that he was dumbstruck on what it meant.

It was like a switch had gone off in Jeff's mind and the hate was temporarily turned off, but as soon as Jeff remembered where he was and what he was doing it switched back on.

Jeff said that he hated them both.

But Morgan knew that wasn't true, not for Nick anyway. No, he didn't hate Nick.

Nick was the only person in the world that he _didn't_ hate.

And Morgan slowly began to understand.

* * *

**TBC.**


	8. Chapter 8

Jeff refused to think about him

Jeff refused to think about his accidental apology in Morgan's office the previous day.

He refused to even consider that he might feel anything for Nick that wasn't utter disgust.

But every so often, in that hate filled mind of his, the tiny annoying voice in the back of his mind told him otherwise. Jeff had always hated that voice.

_Why_ did he have to apologise … and since when did he start apologising to people anyway? It would have been such a simple gesture to any normal person, but to Jeff it was almost a juggernaut, a train travelling at 100 miles an hour towards his helpless body tied to the rusty tracks.

Jeff hated the feeling of loosing control, the feeling that someone was able to get into his solid concrete exterior that before he had had no problem keeping up with his viciously crude disposition. He was essentially forcing himself to hate the one person, who for some inexplicable reason, he didn't hate.

Jeff despised the feeling of confusion that had begun to fester inside him. He had never been confused before. Confusion was so human, _doubt_ was so human. He was strong, he never convinced himself of something that wasn't true, he never for one moment doubted who he was and he never, ever became confused. Everything had been so straight forward up till now.

He did what he wanted with no morality or hint of decent conscience.

But he couldn't shake how he felt, no matter how hard he tried to force away his newly found but limited emotional capacity.

* * *

Nick hadn't seen Jeff since their uncomfortable liaison in Morgan's office the previous week. Every time he went outside to walk or sit in his courtyard, he kept expecting to see Jeff pop out from behind a tree and sit down next to him silently.

Nick didn't know why he couldn't stop thinking about him. He had been around Jeff no more than a few times and he was suddenly not there, and Nick felt so odd about that, he wasn't meant to feel that way.

He had been called back to Morgan's office for their weekly session again, and he was dreading it. A part of him trusted Morgan, but a part of him also felt like he shouldn't. He knew Morgan would want to know everything and the smallest comment he made would be blown up and analysed the fuck out of, and the thought of that was unnerving to Nick. He wasn't ready to divulge the acute details of his past quite yet, even after all this time.

He proceeded as usual, strolling into Morgan's building quietly, past his old but prim looking receptionist, and to the door. He tapped on the door, almost wishing that the door would be yanked open from the other side and Jeff would be standing there looking fuming, as usual.

But he knocked on the door, and was simply greeted by an alone Morgan, who invited him in happily and told him to take a seat, as usual.

They sat in silence for a moment as Morgan organised a few papers scattered across his large desk.

Without looking up, he simply said to Nick

"His appointment time changed this week."

Nick frowned slightly "I'm sorry?"

"Mr Sterling's hasn't been in today."

"Oh." Nick replied quietly.

"Disappointed?"

Nick was taken aback "_No_?"

Morgan tapped the side of the neat paper pile in front of him and pushed it to his side

"I think he was."

"Excuse me?"

"He's different around you." Morgan continued, averting the subject a little.

Nick's heart started thumping against his rib cage, _what was happening to him?_

"A-and what do you mean by that?"

Morgan smiled at him

"He's … calmer, well … as calm as I think he can possibly be."

Nick's gaze fell to the floor

"He didn't seem too calm the last time I was around him." He muttered

"No, he never _seems_ calm does he."

Nick blinked at him.

"Alas, he is not the reason we have met today, so shall we progress?"

Nick nodded, slowly.

"Excellent," He reclined back into his chair a little "Why don't you start off telling me a memory from your childhood."

_Oh no._

Nick inhaled deeply, reminding himself not to tell him anything of importance.

"Well," Nick began "I don't really remember a lot from my childhood, but I suppose I remember moving to New Hampshire when I was around 7."

"Where did you move from?"

"Oregon."

"Ah, ok, I never been myself, I've heard they get a lot of rain over there though."

"I can't remember."

"Must have been quite a change from Oregon to New Hampshire, yes?"

"I suppose. I wasn't really old enough to realise."

"Who did you move there with?"

Nick hesitated for a moment. He knew exactly where this was going.

"My parents." He mumbled, shuffling in his chair a little.

"Plural? Are your parents separated?"

_You're such an idiot._

"No."

"You're father must have quite a demanding job then."

"Why would you say that?"

"Because he hasn't come to visit yet, and he also didn't sign your admittance papers for you to come here, they require both parents to sign."

"My mother always took care of that sort of thing." He replied, knowing that what he just said hadn't been a lie. He just didn't want to tell the complete truth.

"I see. So your father wasn't around much when you were growing up?"

Nick paused for a second, thinking of a way to get out of the conversation he had just landed himself into.

"Not particularly."

"And how did that make you feel?"

Nick narrowed his eyes at him

"You're very intrusive, aren't you?"

Morgan looked very taken aback

"Well it's my job to be intrusive. Especially with people like you."

"Me?"

"This is the first time you've spoken since you've been here. It's understandable that I'm a little curious about your life, about who you are."

"Well, yes, but does that give you the right to intrude on subjects that may cause me to feel uncomfortable?"

"Absolutely."

Nick slowly got up from his seat

"Well then I apologise if I don't share that opinion, I will see you in a week." He said sternly before walking out of the room quickly, without looking back to acknowledge Morgan's response.

He got out of the building and slumped against the cold brick wall. He squeezed his eyes shut, exhaling and inhaling deeply, trying to suppress the sobs that were threatening to burst out of him.

He opened his eyes, and he could feel the tears brimming over his eye lids.

Nick wished more than ever before that he had a knife or a gun or something because he knew he couldn't do it for much longer. He couldn't stand this. He was weak.

And then he started running, but failed to see the three figures walking down a path ahead of him.

He only managed to recognise who they were as he sped past them. Monty, Red and of course, Jeff.

"Nick!" Monty called out, but he didn't stop.

Jeff simply stood there watching after him, not being able to quite bring himself to come up with some snide remark.

"Where the hell is he going?" Monty questioned, turning to Red

"No idea."

"You think he's ok?"

"It's Nick, nobody ever knows if he is."

"He's not." Whispered Jeff, almost inaudibly, his gaze still directed at where Nick had headed

"What?" Monty asked, giving Jeff a confused look

Jeff's head snapped towards them "What?"

"What did you just say?"

"Nothing." Jeff replied, glaring at him.

There was an awkward silence for a moment as Red and Monty stood there staring at him.

"Oh my fucking god, can we just go please?!" Jeff all but yelled

Monty nodded and they carried on.

Jeff walked away, not being able to kick the overwhelming urge to follow Nick.

* * *

Nick ran, and ran, and ran, until he physically couldn't. He stopped and looked around.

He had no idea where he was. He was next to a building he had never seen before. It was old, older than the rest of the buildings at Atlas. It was gray brick, the windows clouded, and some higher up were shattered, and some missing all together. The front door was closed, but had a large dent in it. Nick walked to the front door, and pressed his palm up against it. The door creaked open, and the inside was completely empty, apart from a few steel columns going up to the ceiling. The room was well lit with natural light coming from large broken windows lining the back wall. He pushed the door open more and slipped inside. The place was abandoned, clearly out of use for a few years. He made his way over to the back wall. He stuck his head out the window and looked around. On the right below the hill Atlas was on was the sea, lapping its way up onto a small beach, and on the left were hills and hills, covered with a blanket of grassland and the occasional flurry of trees. The sun was setting on the horizon and it had started to get cold. For a building that looked as depressing at it did, the place had a certain calm to it. Maybe it was because there were no people, or because it was so quiet, he didn't know, but he would be lying if he said he didn't almost like it there. He stayed there for a while, just appreciating the break from everyone, but after a while knew Susanna would be looking for him so he decided to find his way back.

He realised the front door had closed shut behind him, so he pulled on it, expecting it to open as easily as before, but it didn't. He tried pulling it a few more times, but it still wouldn't open.

He yanked it, over and over again, but it didn't budge, and he started to panic. He really didn't want to be stuck there all night.

He looked around for an alternative escape route nearby, and spotted a window that was partially broken. He walked over and inspected the damage. He could get out of it, definitely, but the large jagged pieces of glass still attached to the bottom window pane wouldn't make it easy for him.

He climbed onto the window sill and tried to bash out some of the glass but it wouldn't budge. He groaned,_ this is gonna hurt._

He lifted one leg over successfully, narrowly missing a large, sharp point of glass. He was now in the awkward position of trying to get his other leg over and jumping down from the window, and now the sun was so low that he couldn't quite see where the ground was. He leaned out a little and put his free leg on the tiny ledge outside of the window. He slowly shifted his weight onto the free leg and began to lift his other leg over. He could feel his free foot slipping off the ledge but he carried on, and before he knew it, he was falling to the floor, a searing pain shooting up his leg. He hit the floor with a thud, his head slamming to the ground forcefully. He tried to lift himself up but had winded himself so that all he could do was splutter and try to take in as deep breaths as he possibly could. The pain in his leg started throbbing harder and harder until he finally hoisted himself up and tried to make out the damage, but it was too dark. He felt around where the pain was and lifted his fingers to his face just able to make out thick red liquid, and lots of it.

He rolled onto his side, clutching his leg, and was about to pull himself up when he had a thought.

He could just bleed to death.

Simple as.

This was what he wanted all along.

So he stayed there.

He didn't have to think twice, because he knew he would regret it forever if he didn't.

_Just a few more hours_, he told himself, _and this will all be over._

* * *

Jeff, Monty and Red were sitting in the mess hall, finishing up dinner when Jeff suddenly had an overwhelming feeling of dread, like something was about to go horribly wrong.

The feeling was unusual

He didn't like it.

He looked around. Nothing was wrong; nobody was doing anything out of the usual. The room was almost empty, apart from a few guards standing around by the doors and another patient in the corner yelling about something to do with fishing.

The feeling was getting stronger every minute and he felt like he was going to scream more and more every second.

"Come on, Jeff, we're going." Said Monty, tapping his arm.

Jeff flinched away, not replying

"Jeff."

He looked up at them

"Something's wrong." He replied absentmindedly

"W-what?"

"Something. Is. Wrong." He repeated

"Jeff, nothing's wrong, now lets go."

He glared at them before hesitantly getting up and following them out past the guards.

It was almost completely dark, with only the street lamps guiding their way back to their building.

Jeff walked outside into the cold pre winter air, and it hit him.

Nick hadn't been at dinner.

Nick was always made to go to the mess hall at the _exact_ same time Jeff was.

Jeff remembered him running, where had he been running too? Or what had he been running from? He stopped walking and looked around quickly, checking for any guards that might shoot him down.

He didn't really know what he was doing or why, but as soon as Monty and Red took their attention away from him for a split second or so, he started running.

And he ran as fast as he fucking could, for he knew that Monty and Red had developed an annoying amount of stamina guarding Jeff, and it wouldn't take long for them to catch up to him and drug him.

The darkness made it frustratingly difficult to remember where Nick had run too.

He reached a place he had never been before. There were no street lamps and nobody around, so he slowed down. Even if Monty and Red had followed him they wouldn't be able to find him in this light.

He spun around, trying to figure out where his body was telling him to go and what the _hell_ he was actually doing.

He stumbled around for a minute or so before spotting a rather large building a few hundred feet away from him silhouetted against the faint glow of the full moon. He ran towards it until he was directly in front of it.

"_Fuck_." He muttered. He couldn't see a damn thing.

He was about to walk away when he heard a very quiet moan nearby him. He froze, turning around again.

"…Nick?"

He heard another moan, this one sounding more painful than the last

Jeff followed the noise, crouching down on the ground.

"Nick, I swear to fucking god if you are here make another noise."

"No …" Nick whimpered "Leave me alone."

Jeff felt around until he finally found him, his whole body relaxing finally.

"Nick," He said sternly, grabbing his shoulders "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Leave …" He whispered

"What? No, you're being creepy, just come with me, they won't shoot me if you're with me."

"Can't … my leg, bleeding."

"Your leg is bleeding?"

He moaned again

"Oh for fuck sakes … which leg?"

"Jeff … go away."

"NICK I AM NOT LEAVING YOU, WHICH FUCKING LEG?!"

"Left …" He mumbled

Jeff moved over him to his left leg, placing his hand on it. Nick let out a cry of pain

"Nick, you're fucking bleeding, what the fuck did you do?"

"The W-window …"

"What fucking window?!"

Nick didn't reply

Jeff shook him

"Nick."

Nothing

"Nick."

Nothing

"NICK."

He wasn't responding

"Oh shit …"

He was about to get into so much fucking trouble.

"MONTY! RED!" He screamed as loud as he could

"SECURITY GUARDS!"

"ANYONE?!"

"WHERE THE FUCK IS EVERYONE WHEN YOU NEED THEM?!"

And in one last attempt

"OH LOOK EVERYONE JEFF IS LOOSE ON THE GROUNDS, BETTER MAKE SURE HE DOESN'T KILL ANYONE!"

And then he saw people running towards him with flash lights

"Hands above your head!" One of them yelled, pointing a gun at him

"Yeah alright I get it, but can you at least stop this fucker from dying first before you start shooting me?" He said, raising his arms.

"Oh my god, Nick!" Jeff heard someone who sounded a lot like Monty yell before running over to them "Oh holy- ok he's bleeding. Nick! Can you hear me? Jeff, what did you do?!"

"I didn't do anything you stupid fucking cunt! And he can't hear you because he's fucking _unconscious_!" Jeff replied before somebody grabbed both arms down from behind him and handcuffed them together. He looked behind him to find a large security guard clipping the handcuffs shut.

"Hey, what the fuck are you doing? I found him for you!"

"Mr Sterling, you're going to have to come with me." The guard said, pulling him away from Nick and the rest of the staff who were now crowding around Nick.

"You're going to lock me up for doing your job for you?!" Jeff shouted, trying desperately to fling himself away, but the security guard simply tightened his grip.

"Sterling if you don't comply I will have no choice but to induce you."

"FUCKING INDUCE ME THEN, BECAUSE THIS IS COMPLETE FUCKING BULLSHIT!"

"Very well, son. Jared!"

Red came running over

"Morgan is going to hate this." Red muttered before rummaging around his pocket, flipping open a small plastic box, and plunging the needle into Jeff's arm. He struggled against the drugs for as long as he could before he collapsed.

* * *

**TBC**


	9. Chapter 9

Jeff woke up a few hours later, drowsy, pissed off, and in a room that was unfamiliar to him. He managed to prop himself up onto his elbows, only to find that he was in a completely padded room, the only source of light coming from a flickering light bulb above him. He wobbled up onto his feet, over to the metal door in the corner.

He banged on it viciously, resting his heavy head against the cool metal.

"WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY THE FUCK I AM LOCKED UP?!" He yelled, his voice sounding slightly strained. He heard faint footsteps coming towards him, then someone saying something muffled to another person.

The letter box peep hole snapped open and Jeff stumbled back a little.

"You're in the surveillance centre, Sterling."

"I'm in the what?"

"You're being taken into questioning in a few minutes. Try not to almost kill anyone else till then, yeah?"

The letter box slapped shut again

Jeff stood there oblivious for a few seconds.

And then it all came rushing back to him.

"Oh my fucking god … ARE YOU PEOPLE FUCKING SERIOUS?!" He yelled, kicking the door with as much force as he could muster. He groaned, his head falling into his hands.

He heard a harsh clicking noise as someone undid the deadbolts from outside. A few more clicks and the door swung open to reveal Morgan standing there, looking almost … angry.

"Good morning, Jeff, would you mind coming with me? I have a few questions I'd like to ask you."

"Yeah, actually I would mind, I didn't do anything wrong."

"Jeff, I would like to remind you that if you do not come willingly, you will be forced."

Jeff snorted.

"Force me then."

And with that, two burly looking men came and yanked him out of the room and down a dark hallway to a small room with a table and two chairs. The room had no windows, but was blindingly bright from the obnoxious overhead lights. The two men pushed Jeff into one of the chairs and left the room, passing Morgan on their way out.

Morgan came in and sat down in the chair opposite him, throwing down a beige file slip onto the table.

Jeff broke the silence.

"Is this some kind of joke?"

Morgan looked bewildered, "Joke? You think you being arrested for attempted murder is a joke?"

"Excuse me?! Attempted murder?"

"Yes, slashing someone's leg open so that they almost bleed to death_ is_ attempted murder."

"Y-you think it was me?"

"I have no reason not to, and neither does anyone else here."

Jeff could almost feel the blood boiling under his skin. "How and why the fuck would I want to kill him? Do you think I'm a fucking idiot?"

"No, I think you're very smart, but unfortunately _I'm smarter_."

Jeff exhaled loudly, "Prove it."

"Certainly. You clearly realised that Nick hadn't been at dinner last night, so you worked out that he must be somewhere unprotected in the grounds considering Susanna was at dinner, so when you and Red and Monty left, you took the opportunity to go and finally get him, which you did, by the old groundkeeper house by the north cliffs, where there are a lot of broken windows. You know that Nick is scared of you so you knew he wouldn't be able to get away and he wouldn't have been able to fight you, so you took a piece of glass, and cut into his leg, so that you would be able to cover up your actions by making it seem like he simply got into an accident inside the house and was too hurt to make it back. You then waited until a substantial amount of blood had been lost when you called the guards over, making you seem like the unlikely hero in all of this."

Jeff's eyebrows shot up, and he began clapping his hands together dramatically, applauding Morgan's oblivious ignorance

"Wow, just, wow, but unfortunately, you're actually a moron."

"I'm sorry?"

Jeff scrunched up his nose, mockingly, "There are just a few minor loopholes in that little anecdote you just pulled out of your ass. The first being, why the hell would I lie? The second being that I'm not a stabbing sort of guy, I much more prefer the horrific and mutilating approach to killing people, and thirdly, I have no reason to hurt Nick. I only kill if I have purpose."

"Then how did you know where he was?"

"I didn't."

"So how did you find him?!" Morgan snarled, whacking his palms down on the table. Jeff was taken aback by the gesture; Morgan had always come across as such a calm person.

"Initiative."

"Initiative?"

"Yes, it's something that everyone in this place seems to lack unfortunately."

"Go on."

"I saw him running away from your office. When I saw he wasn't at dinner … I … I followed the path I'd seen him go before."

"Mr Sterling, do you really expect me to believe that you just saw he wasn't at dinner and decided to go and find him?"

"No, but it's the truth, for all it's worth in this shit hole."

"The part of the grounds you two were in was off limits to patients, there are no night lamps there. How could you have possibly found him?"

Jeff thought for a second. He really had no idea how he had found Nick.

"I don't know, I just did."

"Jeffry, why are you so opposed to just telling the truth? If anything, you will actually be in a better position if you admitted what you did-,"

And then he snapped.

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO HIM!" Jeff screamed "I COULD NEVER HURT HIM, YOU SON OF A BITCH!", a sudden rage bursting out of him as he picked up his chair and started violently smashing it against the wall, harder and harder every time as he did, screaming the words "I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING, I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"

Morgan sat there in silence, just watching Jeff unravel in front of him. He didn't even move when Jeff threw the chair at the ground and kicked the table over, smashing one of the legs off it. He then proceeded to kick it continuously until a large dent formed into the underside of it.

And then Jeff stopped, breathing heavily as he looked at the mess around him, and Morgan sitting unmoved in his chair. His breathing slowed a little, and then suddenly he fell to the floor, crouching down onto the tile.

He began to sob.

Morgan felt paralysed as he watched the hot headed boy in front of him _completely_ loose it.

It was unlike anything he had ever witnessed before in his life.

* * *

Nick finally came to an hour or so after Jeff. He looked around the room he was in with an awful feeling of déjà vu after the last time he had ended up in hospital for similar injuries. He looked down at his leg. It was heavily bandaged. The cut must have been worse than he realised. He was alone in the room, with only the faint ticking of the clock on the wall. The room felt a little eerie, and for the first time in a long time, he didn't want to be alone. Or at least he didn't want to feel as lonely as he had felt for so long.

He shuffled up the bed higher so that he was sitting up right. His hand stung a little when he moved it, he looked down to see a small drip going into the back of his hand. Blood

There was the bag of O negative blood hanging on a hook next to him, unattached to the drip, and sealed at the bottom.

He wasn't quite sure what he was suppose to do with himself, he wanted to leave but he had no idea where he was and he was sure that some one would be wanting to ask him what had happened. _Oh god,_ he thought, _what the hell am I suppose to tell them?_ He knew there would be a mass panic if they found out he had been planning to let himself die again.

But then there was Jeff.

Jeff had saved him.

Why had Jeff saved him? Was Jeff even capable of doing such a thing?

Everything was hazy and he couldn't quite remember what had happened. He remembered the window and falling and cutting his leg, and then he remembered not wanting to get help. It was fuzzy from there, but he did remember the distinct sound of Jeff shouting in his ear. At least he thought it was Jeff. But as he thought about it, it made less and less sense.

Jeff wouldn't save him; he wasn't even allowed to shower without someone there to make sure he didn't somehow escape.

But if Jeff didn't save him, who did?

Nick hit the side of his head sharply "_Stop it."_ He snarled as his mind jumbled up the situation even more. He couldn't quite work out what was real and what was just his imagination running wild.

He looked around quickly again. He needed some fresh air. He pulled the covers off his hospital clad body and hobbled over to a pile of clothing on a chair next to the crib, trying to keep as much weight as possible off his bad leg. He rummaged through the pile and found his worn winter coat and shoes. He slipped both on, careful not to accidently rip out his drip, and headed to the door, which to his surprise, was unlocked. He glanced around the corridor outside quickly. Empty. He wandered down the hall stopping every so often to check nobody was around, and he was in luck. He came to a flight of stairs that he hopped down as quietly as he could. The front door was open in a room off the stair well. Reception.

He opened the glass door slowly, and when he discovered the coast was clear, hobbled straight through and out the door.

What greeted him was so extraordinarily beautiful he wondered whether or not he was even in Atlas anymore.

He was by the sea, on a small hill right above it. The horseshoe cliffs coming around the right side. There were short green railings blocking the path down to the small beach below him. He looked out onto the horizon, and all there was, was glorious blue ocean. It was one of the loveliest places Nick had ever come across during his whole life. And for a while, he just stood there breathing in the fresh salty air, and then he wondered over to the railings and leaned against them gently, just watching the waves calmly lap up onto the golden sanded shore. Nick felt so overwhelmed by the sudden happiness and calm he had been taken by that he didn't realise a person come and stand next to him.

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

Nick whipped his head around to see Susanna standing there smiling at him.

He nodded, "Where am I?"

"You're at the clinic."

"Oh."

"You gave us all a bit of a fright, but we managed to patch your leg up just fine, and Morgan was able to get a temporary doctor in to give you a blood transfusion while you slept. There will be a bit of a scar though; he really managed to make a deep cut."

"He?"

"Our friend Jeff. Don't worry though, sweet heart, they've taken him into custody, I don't expect he'll be here at Atlas much longer." She said, running her hand down his back soothingly. The gesture was odd; it was still strange to feel human contact after being a recluse for so long.

"Custody? Why? He did nothing wrong."

"Jeff, he cut your leg open."

"No he didn't."

"Honey, he did, they found you with him and you were covered in blood. I'm so sorry; I should have been looking after you."

"No, you don't understand, it … it wasn't him." Nicks could feel a tight heat travelling up his throat.

"Nick, you don't need to lie, he's not going to hurt you anymore."

"No, please, it wasn't him, it was me, I cut myself on the glass and I … I didn't want to … I thought I might … be able to bleed to death."

The colour suddenly drained from Susanna's face.

"But, they … he was with you when they found you."

"I know, he didn't do it though, he just … he just found me, I don't know how but he did and now … he didn't do anything." The tears were now spilling over and down his face and he didn't know why.

Susanna clasped her hand to her mouth, shaking her head slowly.

"He's being charged of attempted murder …. W-why would you do that, Nick?"

The tears were still streaming down his face

"I … I can't be here anymore I just … everything is so horrifyingly painful I can't do it anymore I just …"

"I have to go and call Morgan; you just stay here and don't leave the clinic, ok?"

And she was off like a shot, sprinting back inside the clinic.

Nick stood there unmoving, not understanding why he was crying so hard. Because at that very moment, he felt like he was never going to stop crying.

* * *

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

Jeff couldn't move, he couldn't think, he couldn't speak. All he could focus on were the earth shattering sobs stuttering up from his chest. He didn't know if Morgan was there, and he didn't really care.

He might have been there for hours, or days, or weeks for all he knew. But when he finally came back to his normal disposition, he saw that he was alone, the table and chair still smashed to pieces on the floor. He looked around quickly, but there was no one to be seen, not even a tired looking guard standing outside the door. He stood up slowly and trudged over to the door and twisted the door knob slowly, until he heard the soft click. He pushed the door open and stuck his head out.

Nobody was there.

So he started to run, almost automatically, in any direction he found empty passage to, keeping his booted feet as quiet as he possibly could against the creaky wooden floors. He passed a load of empty rooms on the floor he was on, zipping down a different corridor every few seconds, until he slowed at the end of a darkened hallway hearing voices, the loudest one he identified to be Monty, and then quieter ones which he assumed to be Red, and also Morgan. He slid himself up against the wall next to the room they were in, pressing his face to the side to get a better listen in.

"… This is unacceptable on both your parts …" It muffled out again.

"… We're doing the best we can." Monty replied to Morgan.

"I beg to differ … pack your bags, both of you."

Then there was unintelligible yelling, by both Red and Monty, and then the door was flung open and Jeff stumbled into a shadowed area to avoid being seen. He thanked the lord at that moment for putting him in a building with no windows.

"This is such _bullshit!" _He heard Monty yell as he stormed down the opposite direction of the hallway, Red followed slowly behind, his shoulder slumped over in defeat. It was so strange to hear Monty curse.

Morgan stepped out of the office after them, his index finger and thumb gently massaging the bridge of his nose.

"You don't have to hide, Jeffry." Morgan said, not looking in the direction of where Jeff was.

Jeff stepped out of the darkness.

"You fired them, didn't ya?" Jeff asked, the tone of his voice darkening slightly as he stepped into the light to face Morgan

"Yes, and apparently I will be having a quick word with the fellow that was supposed to be making sure you didn't leave the questioning room as well." Morgan slid his glasses back onto his face.

Jeff laughed a little, "Good, I always hated them, they had it coming. It's just a shame they didn't get it from me. You people seem to be incapable of doing your fucking jobs here. It's actually kind of funny. But I guess without your lovely guards I would have been able to murder Nick like I meant to." He said mockingly.

Morgan hummed in agreement. "If it's any consolation, the charges have been dropped. Nick woke up an hour or so ago."

Morgan couldn't help but notice the expression on Jeff's face soften.

"Well what a motherfucking relief. I don't think a fifth murder charge would look good on my permanent record."

Morgan shook his head, "Actually I was about to send for you, but you appear to have found your own way here, so if you wouldn't mind, would you follow me?"

Jeff frowned at him "As long as you're not going to water board me or anything."

Morgan shook his head, "Very good." And with that, he took off down the hall, Jeff following cautiously behind, wondering why Morgan hadn't called for more guards to make sure he didn't run off anywhere.

Morgan led him to a small office near the front entrance. There were still no guards. They both sat. Morgan began.

"Mr Sterling, I'd like to present you with an opportunity."

"You gonna let me go? I promise I'll be good." Jeff replied, giving Morgan a look of faux innocence.

"Not quite."

Jeff tilted his head forward a little, signalling for him to continue.

"Now I must admit, Mr Knox and Mr. Montgomery's job performances were very poor and that was the main cause of me having to let them go, but they were nice boys, they really cared for their patients, but alas, they failed me yet again so unfortunately I had to let them go, for now at least. But it was something else that actually made me realise that I don't need them any longer."

"Oh? You got some bigger guys in to come and make sure I don't try and kill anyone else?"

"No, and as I said before, the charges have been dropped. I actually don't think that you require their surveillance any more."

Jeff was completely taken aback. He really was starting to believe that this was all a big joke and he was about to be taken away to get 'fixed'.

"I'm sorry? Is this some kind of fucking joke?"

"Not at all. But as I said before, this is an opportunity I am offering you."

"Right. And what is this _opportunity_?"

"A patient at my facility attempted to take his own life last night. I can't have that happening again."

Jeff froze.

"What?"

"Mr Duval. Fortunately you saved him though." Morgan leaned forward onto the desk, looking Jeff straight in the eyes.

Jeff's stomach lunged uncomfortably, that's why Nick kept trying to make him leave him there.

"He's …" Jeff couldn't believe what was about to leave his mouth, but he had to know, "He's ok though, now I mean?"

Morgan was silent for a little while, just looking at Jeff with the oddest expression on his face.

"Yes, his leg may take a while to heal, but he's physically fine, thanks to you."

Jeff's gaze fell to the floor, as relief flooded over him

"Good." He half whispered, feeling rather disgusted at the sudden weakness that had overcome him. He looked back to Morgan, his face suddenly hardening into its usual cold expression "I wouldn't want him to be a weak target for some of the _psychopaths_ here."

"No …"

"So. What is this opportunity?"

"Freedom. Well, an increase of it."

"Sweet. Is this your way of saying sorry for arresting me?"

"No, this is my way of doing what I should of done weeks ago."

"Wow, Morgan, I get you're trying to be all sentimental and shit but can you just cut to the fucking chase?"

"You want to be around Nick, true?"

Jeff knew the answer to that question; he just didn't want to admit it. His non response was taken by Morgan as a queue to continue

"Then you can be."

Jeff glared at him blankly, but inside his heart was hammering against his rib cage.

"Excuse me?"

"I am allowing you more freedom and residency in a lower security block, and if you wish, you may do as you wish as long as you do not bother or hurt anyone or try to escape."

"Oh my fucking Christ, ok, real hilarious, Morgan, you really think I'm gonna fall for that bullshit?"

"The offer is there. Feel free to take it or leave it, a guard is outside waiting to accompany you back to the main grounds." Morgan got up out of his seat and headed to the door, opening it for Jeff.

Jeff rose slowly, still not trusting anything Morgan had just said.

"Oh, and Jeff?"

"…What?"

"I got a call from our clinic and they informed me that Nick will be out in about an hour or so the guard will be happy to escort you there if you wish."

And for a moment, Jeff actually felt like believing him.

* * *

Jeff eventually wandered outside, constantly checking behind him for cops or guards or anyone who might actually be on to him. But nobody came, and true to Morgan's word, there was a security guard outside, one who Morgan hadn't seen before. He was large, muscular, and quite tall, but his face was soft, kind almost.

"Are you in on it too? You got your handcuffs at the ready?" Jeff scrunched his face up at him.

"No, son, I'm just here to take you back." He began to walk off without Jeff, not seeming to really mind if he followed or not.

Jeff considered turning away and trying to escape while he still had the chance, but something inside him willed him not to, and almost absentmindedly, found himself following the guard down a gravel path back down towards the main grounds of Atlas.

Jeff's eyes wandered down to his holster.

There was no gun.

There were also no handcuffs.

Truth be told, he had no clue what on earth was happening. But the idea that Morgan was actually being serious became more and more of a likelihood with every crunchy step he took.

As they approached the main courtyard, Jeff remembered what Morgan had last said.

"_Nick will be out in about an hour or so."_

"Hey!" Jeff yelled to the guard, rushing to catch up with him.

"Yes, son?"

"What's the time?"

The guard glanced at his wristwatch

"2:34pm"

The clock in the office he had just been in said 2:15.

1 hour, he had said.

"The clinic. I need to go to the clinic."

"Alright, something wrong with ya?"

"No … do I look sick to you?" Jeff paused for a moment, trying to stay as calm as he was humanly capable "I'm meeting someone there."

The guard nodded and veered off down a path off the side of the courtyard, leading behind one of the main recreational buildings. He was leading Jeff down a path away from the main grounds, fenced with 10 foot high barbed and clearly very old wire fencing. They walked down a small hill behind one of Atlas's main buildings to a dead bolted gate. The guard brought out a large bunch of keys from his pocket and unlocked the gate, letting Jeff pass through first, then locking the gate behind him and proceeding down the path. It was only then that Jeff realised an extremely out of place looking white building a little lower down than them by the edge of one of the lowest cliff edges … well it was more of a hill, but for arguments sake.

They got closer and closer, and Jeff realised that they building they were heading to was actually a house. A house with a small sign in front of it, reading "Atlas institute Medical Clinic". The building was only 2 floors high, unlike most of the 4 or 5 story buildings at Atlas. The windows didn't have bars going over them, and the whole place was so weirdly calm, Jeff genuinely wondered whether he was in some strange dream, and he was actually just asleep in the dimly lit cell he had woken up in that morning.

The guard went in first, pulling open the glass door, holding it for Jeff to catch behind him. They were greeted by a tired looking woman, who Jeff recalled seeing in the mess hall once or twice. The guard gave the woman something that looked like an ID card, which the nurse took a quick look at, then handed back to him, her gaze flickering to Jeff.

"He's in the garden." She said with a small smile.

Jeff simply stared at her, not being able to think of a crude comment back to her.

He narrowed his eyes at her

"Well I don't know where the fuck the garden is, do I?"

She pointed across the room "Down the hall and out through the door."

Jeff felt a rare pang of panic clouding his mind

"Jeff, this isn't a trick, really. I think he knew you were coming anyway."

"…How?"

"Like I said before, he's in the garden." She replied, ignoring his question with a smile.

He huffed in frustration and took off down the hall, eventually reaching the immaculate glass doors, which lead out onto a well kept lawn. His eyes travelled up the grass to a border of short metal railings.

And then he saw Nick.

He exhaled loudly, desperately hoping that this really was really and not just some ploy to get him there so that they could take his away to one of the less forgiving asylums in the tri-state area. He closed the door softly behind him and walked slowly towards Nick, who had his back to Jeff.

Jeff couldn't understand why, but with every step he took, a prickling feeling twisting and turning up his insides.

He got closer and closer, and finally he was right next to him, making sure to keep a good distance between their bodies. He leaned against the railings, turning his head to the side to look at Nick, who was still looking out at sea.

"How did you find me last night?" Nick asked quietly, still not looking at Jeff

"I don't know." Jeff answered honestly

Nick turned to look at him

"That doesn't make any sense … I was lost, and it was so dark and-."

"I know," Jeff interrupted "And I don't know how I found you. You should just be grateful that I did."

"Why would I be _grateful_?"

Jeff snorted loudly "Because I saved your fucking life."

Nick didn't respond.

And then Jeff understood

"You want to be dead, don't you?"

Nick looked away from him, back to the sea, unwilling to reply.

"Why?" Jeff continued

Nick didn't reply, he couldn't.

He wanted to run away from the intrusive blonde boy standing next to him, but he couldn't. It was like there was some invisible force drawing him to Jeff, and it scared him.

"Because I'm nothing, I'm invisible."

Jeff felt like he had just been punched in the chest. And all he could think was; _if you're invisible, then why is it that all I ever see anymore is you?_

* * *

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

"I can see you."

"What?"

"I can see you. You're not invisible."

Nick stared at him for a few moments, not knowing how to respond. Jeff was expressionless under the afternoon sunlight.

"Why are you here?" Nick asked in a strained voice, "Actually, how are you here?"

"Uhh, well I walked."

"Y-you walked?"

"… Yes." Jeff replied bluntly

"How?"

Jeff gaped at him "Well I put one foot in front of the other and I ended up here."

"Yes, well, I understand the dynamics. Are you allowed to be here?"

Jeff shrugged

"I guess."

"Ok … well, I think I have to leave now."

Jeff froze; "Atlas?"

"No! No, here, the... the clinic?"

Relief washed over him "Oh. Do you mind if I walk back with you?"

Nick shook his head, smiling weakly "No, of course not."

Jeff nodded, "Are you … ok to walk?"

Nick looked down at his bandaged leg.

"Oh … yes, they wouldn't be letting me go if it was bad."

Jeff almost flinched at his words. There had been so much blood when Jeff had found his lying there, almost unconscious. He couldn't believe it had been less than a day since then.

"Come on." Said Jeff quietly, heading towards the door of the clinic.

* * *

Nick took one last glance at the sea, sighed, and then turned to follow.

The phone rang in Morgan's office, he picked it up

"Dr Morgan speaking."

"Tut tut Morgan, we have been bad now, haven't we?"

"Good evening to you too, Abe."

"I had a lovely little chat with Mr Montgomery this morning on the phone. Poor boy was a little upset."

"Abraham, you are not at Atlas at the current moment and I will have to ask you again to let me run my hospital as I wish."

"Ah yes, but Morgan, when you refuse to run it correctly, you give me no choice but to intervene."

"Abraham-,"

"No, Morgan, I don't know if you've quite realised, but for some reason you are allowing a murderer to roam loose on your grounds without any security."

"I am quite aware of the situation, Abraham."

"…Have you lost your mind?"

"Not at all. I'm merely running a little experiment."

"An experiment? Care to elaborate?"

Morgan knew that Abe probably wasn't the most ideal person to trust with such information but also felt as though he had no choice. His actions had already raised alarming amounts of suspicion all over Atlas.

"I think there may be more to our Jeff than previously realised."

"Oh?"

"I saw something in him … something that I would have never thought I would have seen."

"And what did you see, Morgan?"

"Something that's making him weak, or at least overpowering his anger."

"Which is?"

"Love."

"Love?" Abe chuckled "Love for whom?"

"Another patient, named Nick Duval."

"Of course, the suicide kid, correct?"

"I would prefer if you referred to him by his name, but, yes."

"Oh but, Morgan, you can't be serious. That boy is so filled with hate that he probably doesn't even know how to love."

"Oh he doesn't, well at least he has convinced himself that he doesn't. That's what is making him so weak. He doesn't know what to do with all these emotions he is feeling so he is slowly shutting down. He doesn't even know that he does feel love or even anything for Nick."

"So what is this _experiment_ you are carrying out then?"

"Purely psychological. I want to see if he's found his weakness, in Nick that is. I might just be imagining it, but somehow he seems to be calming down … he hasn't tried to hurt anyone in a few days … it's almost a record."

"You think his weakness is Nick?"

"Yes, well no, I think his _cure, _if you will, is Nick, but if it turns out that I was wrong, he is still under 24 hour watch, the necessary precautions are being taken to keep him secure."

"I think you're making a mistake, Morgan, are you forgetting that he killed four people?"

"You think everything I do is a mistake, and I am quite aware, thank you, but someone told me a while ago that everyone deserves a second chance, and this is Jeff's second chance to prove to the world that even the most damned are capable of feeling some sort of human compassion."

"Mhmm …" Abe replied, a hint of bitterness sinking into his voice "Maybe it's time I came back to Atlas."

Morgan thought for a second, yes he did value Abe as one of his best staff at atlas, but Abe had a history of being reckless in his 'rehabilitation' strategies. Morgan didn't want to loose anyone else. But he had to admit that he needed Abe there. In an institute full of mentally unstable patients, injuries were frequent and sometimes difficult to handle for the few nurses in the clinic. It was only due to Jeff finding Nick so fast that they were able to clean and stitch up his leg so simply. In the end he caved.

"Actually," Morgan began, slightly hesitantly, "Maybe you should, and you've been away for far too long, and you're bleeding me dry making me pay out for your winter vacation."

"And I have been having a wonderful time."

"But I think we need your services at Atlas more than the holiday goers in Miami do."

Abe hummed in agreement, then laughed quietly

"I'll be back on Monday." Abe said before hanging up.

Morgan let the phone sit against his face for a little while before placing it back on the hooks. He brushed a hand over his mouth, letting it linger for a second.

"Good." He whispered.

* * *

Nick and Jeff walked back to the main campus of Atlas in silence, with the assistance of the unnamed guard, who had taken Jeff there in the first place, with Nick and his still unstable leg.

"They should really make this path flat." The guard muttered as he pulled Nick along with him up the hill, with Jeff leading in front."

"Yes, but that would mean that the people who work here would actually have to make some sort of effort with their jobs." Jeff replied snarkily

"We make plenty of effort here at Atlas, son."

"I beg to differ." Jeff muttered as they stopped in front of the Iron Gate leading back into the main grounds of Atlas. The guard let Nick hobble to lean on the fence before pulling out a large ring of keys, picking one out and unlocking the gate with. He pulled on the gate and held it open for the two boys.

He looked at Jeff, tilting his head towards Nick

"You mind getting him for me?"

"No, I'm fine I can go on my own." Nick interjected, pushing himself up off the railings, trying to hobble as best he could up the small hill, but stopped after a few steps wincing in pain. Jeff grabbed him by the waist as soon as the hiss left his lips.

"You don't have to be a damn martyr." Jeff whispered, hitching his arm up Nick's side a little.

Nick looked up at him, smiling a little "Thank you." He whispered.

And so they walked up the hill in silence, not realising until they got to the top that Jeff had pulled him flush against his body and Nick was gripping onto the hand that Jeff had around his torso for dear life. There was a nurse standing by the edge of the path at the top with a wheelchair. Nick looked up at Jeff, then down to their hands. He slowly unclasped their hands and hopped into the wheelchair, feeling an odd impulse to not look at Jeff. The nurse began to pull the wheelchair back when Nick stopped her

"Wait," He called out, looking at Jeff "Where are you going?"

"Oh ... um I'm going to look for murder weapons, I'm planning a mass genocide for this evening, with all this new found freedom." Jeff's gaze flickered to the nurse behind Nick's wheelchair. The look on her face was of pure terror. He smiled cheekily at her.

Nick nodded, "Ok, well if you happen to change your mind about that, you could have dinner with me."

Jeff looked back to Nick. He had such a scared look on his face, like he was about to get his heart broken. Jeff felt his whole body suddenly feel weighed down with a feeling of … something he didn't quite know.

Instead of making a snarky comment, he simply nodded.

"Good." He said, before the nurse wheeled him towards his living block. The guard disappeared somewhere off towards the mess hall. Jeff watched him leave with out moving, slowly feeling an empty sensation creeping up his side where Nick had fitted so perfectly not 5 minutes before.

* * *

Morgan had sent someone to Jeff's old room to move his few belongings to his new room in the medium security building where he was now to live. The security was slightly more lax and his room wasn't under 24 hour watch, which of course was ideal for Jeff. He hated the constant human interaction more than anything. In a strange way though, he knew he would miss his old building in his own weird way. He may have disliked it for the short period he was there, but he did like the status it gave him. He was one of the five high security patients there, and they were feared, even by some of the staff. All four out of the remaining high security patients had killed, the other had almost killed someone. One was, slightly worryingly, a cannibal, who was under the most strenuous security, he wasn't allowed to leave his room at all, but he was only at Atlas temporarily, he had only been there a week was due to leave in a week or so, Jeff had heard he was actually a pretty nice guy, as long as he wasn't trying to eat anyone. Two of the others had killed out of spite, one for lost love, the other to avenge his … Jeff had heard it was his mother's life he was trying to avenge, but he wasn't entirely sure. Come to think of it, he didn't really know how either of them were insane as such, he suspected they just had excellent lawyers who were able to get them off life sentence by pleading insanity. There was another patient there who Jeff didn't know the reason for being there but he had heard something about multiple personalities, one of which being that of a serial killer. The patients in the medium security were still sparse, but not nearly as menacing as those in his previous quarters, and as soon as he walked into the building, the roaming patients, who were still aware of who they were and where they were veered away from him almost instantly.

_I could enjoy this_, Jeff thought.

The hours that Jeff was allowed out were limited but still appreciated. He was allowed out until 4pm unless he was at dinner, in which case he would be escorted back to his building by a nurse or guard. Dinner was at 4 precisely, and Jeff was one of the few to leave as almost half of the patients in the building were bed ridden. Jeff decided to go straight to the mess hall, considering that it was another cold and dark winter night.

He got to the mess hall in no time, rushing in quickly to get out of the bone chilling air into the warm. The room really wasn't that busy, it never was. He had never really realised till now how little patients there were at the hospital.

He looked around the room until his eyes fell on the person he had been looking for.

Nick was sat in the far corner of the room, a pair of new looking crutches propped up against the chair next to him. He looked behind him subliminally, expecting to see Red and Monty standing behind him about to push him to an abandoned table across the room, but nobody was there. They were gone.

He could still feel the suspicious eyes of the security guards lingering on him, ready to pounce if he tried anything.

Jeff felt a sense of triumph. He always hated them.

He walked over to where Nick was slowly, not wanting to scare him away. Nick didn't look up from his plate when Jeff pulled out the chair opposite him and sat down.

After a few moments, Nick finally spoke, still not looking at Jeff

"How many people have you killed?"

Jeff smiled, slightly amused by Nick's bluntness.

"Hello to you too. Four, although I actually only meant to kill three … the fourth was sort of _accidental. _How many people have _you_ killed?"

Nick looked up at him, confusion clouding his features

"None."

"Oh, I'm sorry I thought we were going to swap murder stories …" said Jeff, smiling cheekily.

"It's just something I've been wondering."

"You want to know how I did it?"

"I already know," Nick said simply, dropping his cutlery onto his plate "You burned down your house with them inside. You're what they call a Pyromaniac."

Jeff nodded, but in the acknowledging way, not the agreeing way.

"You were right about the first, not the second."

"But I heard people saying you were."

"Have you ever heard me say I was?"

"Well, no, but you and I have rarely spoken before."

"It's just something all the retarded folk have assumed since the fire. I let them assume it, it amuses me. I make up whole stories to go with it as well. It's hilarious."

Nick nodded slowly, "So what are you then?"

Jeff slouched back into his seat "I'm something. I just haven't figured out what yet."

"Why did you choose fire then?"

"Nosy." Jeff replied, refreshed by Nick's new forwardness

"I'm suddenly very curious about you, and for the first time in a few weeks I don't feel like I want to drown myself, so, if you would."

"Right. I chose fire because … well I guess it started when I was about 9. I found a book at my school about the fire of London in I think it's the 1800's or some shit like that, and that thing just wrecked _everything, _like it burned down half of the city or something. Ever since then I've always liked that fire can just demolish unwanted things within minutes, and I don't know if you've noticed or not but I don't really like people, so after multiple attempts, I finally demolished the people I hated the most in the world, my family."

"Oh."

"Getting ready to run?"

"I can't really run with my leg ..."

"True."

"Morgan doesn't know this, does he?"

"Of course not. Maybe he would if he realised that I haven't tried to set fire to hardly anything since I got here."

"Why not?"

"Because I have no desire to."

Nick looked down at his plate, then back to Jeff.

"Are you not eating?" He asked, changing the subject.

"Nope, I'll just steal something from the nurses station later, this food is shit anyway."

"So why are you here?"

"Because it's just such a great social atmosphere."

Nick looked around the room quickly; his gaze only to be met by the depressed, cold faces of the people being subjected to live there.

He looked back to Jeff, who was trying his hardest to stifle his laughter with his best serious face.

And then suddenly, the loudest bought of laughter bubbled out of Nick's mouth, his whole body shaking as he buried his face in his hands, giggling through his fingers.

He stopped abruptly after realising what had just happened.

He hadn't laughed in years. He had forgotten how it felt to laugh so carelessly

He looked back up at Jeff, who had the most amused expression on his face.

"You have a lovely laugh." said Jeff, still smiling.

Nick clasped his hand over his mouth, the familiar feeling of dread slowly dripping back into his fragile system.

"I have to go …" Nick whispered, yanking his crutches into his arms and stumbling up. He was about to leave when he turned back to Jeff

"Meet me somewhere tomorrow?"

Jeff nodded, the smile on his face now replaced by utter blankness.

And then Nick was gone, and Jeff felt the feeling of emptiness creeping back into him.

* * *

**TBC**


	12. Chapter 12

Jeff slept better that night, well, better than he had ever done in his previous building. He didn't feel so trapped, so contained. He still had his own room, but there were no stationed guards outside, and his door wasn't dead bolted. Even if he couldn't leave, didn't mean he didn't enjoy the feeling of the possibility that he could.

Jeff realised, that for some reason he was calmer there. He felt like there was an odd sense of comfort that he hadn't felt in a long time.

He also couldn't shake the feeling that the reason he felt so was due to the closer proximity with the low security building.

* * *

Everyone was asleep in Nick's dorm, everyone but Nick. His eyes had been squeezed shut for god knows how long … hours perhaps. He begged his body to sleep, or to shut down … anything to rid him of the suffocating dense sadness that had suddenly taken over every ounce of his being once more. The pain was only increased by the constant reminder that for a moment he managed to convince himself that maybe he was getting better, that maybe something was changing. But he was wrong, and it only made the situation worse. There had been so many nights where he had laid in bed, praying, crying, screaming for the dread to go away, but it never did, and neither did the awful little voice that had wormed itself into the back of his mind blindly reminding him of the event that had caused him to be this way. The event that he himself had never really come to terms with, instead he simply roamed the earth in either a state of soul ripping numbness or the feeling that the sky was about to come crashing down on him at any moment if he didn't find a way out, an escape, if you will.

And that's why he couldn't just laugh, just like that. It would be such a simple gesture to any normal person, but to Nick Duval? It was a juggernaut crashing through his frail exterior. Everything had to be controlled, gentle. And such a simple thing as a laugh had the ability to ruin _everything._

In the end his body finally gave into the fatigue and he fell into a restless sleep.

He woke up after a few hours at around nine by Susanna, who told him that if he wanted some breakfast he should go now, but he declined, and Susanna let him be, visiting him again twice more to give him his pain medication and to check his bandages.

And without even realising it, he spent the entire day in bed. He didn't move, he didn't speak, the only thing he focused on was the distant ticking of the second hand on the clock on the wall, and the occasion noise made by one of the 5 other patients he shared his large and hospital like dormitory with.

Nick had never just stayed in bed all day, not even in his darkest days, but today, he felt like he would collapse into a broken mess if he so much as left his bed. So he stayed where he was, surrounded by his thin sheets, which as far as he was concerned were the only thing holding him together.

* * *

Jeff looked for him, for as long as he was allowed, without actually making it obvious to anyone that he was looking for him … without making it obvious to himself that he wanted to find him. The hours ticked on by and he didn't show, and Jeff realised just how boring his life had become, without his idiot guards to annoy and generally shit on at every chance he got, and without any nagging need to be purposely spiteful to anyone … he had nothing left. He ate in silence, alone, all 3 times, walked about the grounds simply kicking stones along the floor agitatedly, even though the cold December air was making the tips of his fingers blue. The only form of attention he received was the persistent looks of fear and confusion as the staff at Atlas saw him walking around the grounds with no guards or security; clearly the news hadn't spread of Morgan's slight security changes.

Jeff ended up walking back to his room, agitated, at around 5pm, where he sat around for the rest of the night until he fell asleep.

* * *

The next day was unseasonably sunny, and way to cheery for the horrific mood Jeff Sterling woke up to. He was woken up by another patients yelling at 8am, and decided he may as well haul himself out of bed and get today over with if it was going to be as god damn boring as the previous day was. He yanked on his trousers, then his boot's, then his black pea coat. He threw his tangled up pyjamas onto his bed and headed for the door, which he stepped out of. Instead of finding an empty corridor, he was greeted by a female he knew to be called Susanna, waiting approaching him from the left side of the corridor. Jeff glanced at her briefly, then started to walk down the opposite side if the corridor away from her.

"Jeff!" She called from behind him

He groaned quietly, swivelling around to face her

"What."

"Can I talk to you for a second?"

"No." He replied walking away once more.

"It's about Nick." She called after him.

He stopped in his tracks, inhaling deeply, not turning around.

"What about him?"

"He didn't get out of bed yesterday."

"That's a very astute observation."

"I'm worried about him."

Jeff snorted, turning around to face Susanna, who was now approaching him.

"Well it would be odd if you didn't, given that he tried to kill himself … what was it, two days ago?"

She sighed quietly

"I can't actually believe I'm asking you this but, you're the only one he seems to respond to. Is there any chance that you would be able to help me?"

"And why the fuck would I help you?"

"Because helping me would be helping him."

"And why would I want to help _him_, he's nothing to me." Jeff replied bitterly, ignoring as hard as he could the awful heat spreading up his neck after making the last statement

Susanna tipped her head to the side

"I know that you care about him, even if it is in some twisted way of caring that people like you can only care like."

"You're wrong."

"No, I'm not. You think just because you're awful to everyone _but_ him, and that you have a little track record of having a pretty measly regard for human life that you can make everyone believe that there is no decency left in you, and believe me, there is some in there. There might only be an ounce but it's there. You don't fool me, Mr Sterling."

Jeff leaned down into her face, his eyes glaring into hers

"I'd watch your tongue if I were you. People who stand up to me generally don't have a very pleasant ending."

She laughed "Honey, I have been working here for 15 years and I have dealt with people who have committed much worse crimes than you. If you are trying to scare me, I can assure you that your attempts have failed. Now if you happen to find any sort of a heart under all that rubble, then please just … just talk to him, that's all I ask. Oh, and don't forget to sign out at the front desk. Just because your freedom is more flexible now, doesn't mean that you can just wonder off." She gave him a tight-lipped smile, and then turned on her heel off down the opposite end of the corridor.

* * *

Jeff didn't feel like food, he was in a far too bad mood to be dealing with people right now, so he decided to go and sit in the courtyard. It was an unseasonably warm morning and the sun was out. At least he wouldn't be cold. He walked over to the bench, sitting down on it, and then swinging his legs up onto it, slouching down so that he was lying across it. He closed his eyes, listening to the gentle swish of the trees above him, and the occasional tick, tick, ticking of the tire tracks of a patient's wheelchair being pushed along one of the bordering pathways. It was calm, so his angered calmed, if only a little. He drifted in and out of sleep, dozing off every few minutes, only to be woken up suddenly by the sudden feeling that he was falling. Jeff had always hated that feeling. It was around 11 when he heard the slow faint whacking of crutches across the brick floor approaching him. He didn't stir though, for a moment he simply assumed it was part of a dream.

The whacking got louder though, and louder, before it stopped.

"Have they not given you a bed in your new building?" A familiar voice asked tiredly.

Jeff cracked an eye open to see Nick standing there, leaning on his crutches, giving Jeff the most peculiar look.

Jeff sat up immediately, sliding over to the right side of the seat. Nick unhooked his arm from one of his crutches and hopped around, lowering himself down onto the bench next to Jeff.

Jeff looked at him, eyebrows raised. He saw Nick glance to the side, then turn his head to meet his eyes.

"What's wrong with you?" Jeff asked with genuine curiosity

"Excuse me?"

"It's an easy question to answer."

"No it's not."

"How many times have you tried to kill yourself?"

Nick paused "…Why do you want to know?"

"You wanted to know how many people I killed, now it's your turn I think you'll find."

Nick looked to the floor, scrunching up his forehead, "Five times." He answered quietly

Jeff felt an awful sinking pain in his chest "Well you've certainly outdone yourself … ahh, so that's why the didn't keep you in that rehab place for longer, I guess they stop putting you under 72 hour watch after you do it a few times"

Nick gave a little nod, an uncomfortable silence following.

"And I'm going to assume that you were sent here after the … fourth time?"

"… Yes."

"Why the fourth? Why not the second, or the third?"

"Because the fourth time was the first time I came close enough to actually dying. The … uhh," He voice cracked slightly on the 'the' "The three times before probably only count as attempts. I was stopped before I could do any real damage to myself."

"So. What's wrong with you? You can't realistically claim that after trying to kill yourself 5 times, the last being only 3 days ago, that you're normal."

Nick looked back at Jeff, a look of annoyance clearly spreading across his usually calm features

"Well I suppose I could ask you the same question. At least I never tried to hurt anyone else." He replied, spite leaking into his words like venom. This was new for Nick, he wasn't sure if he liked it.

"You're right. I'm not normal, of course i'm not. I find _murder_ funny, and apparently there are a lot of people who don't have the same sense of humour. At least I openly admit that I'm horribly fucked up though. You don't."

"I am not horribly … _fucked _up. I just … I don't know what's wrong with me," He admitted miserably "Ever since I was seven I … I can't explain the feeling … it's like the feeling you get when you find out something awful has just happened, and sometimes it goes away, maybe for a few minutes, or a day, or even a week. But it always comes back, always."

"So that's why you fucked off to nowhere yesterday."

Nick nodded, "I know, I'm sorry."

"Why seven? What happened when you were seven?"

Nick froze,_ Oh no …_

"Nothing." He replied quickly

Jeff frowned at him

"Somebody didn't blow their brains out in front of you, did they, I knew this little fucker in elementary school whose mom did that … the kid wouldn't stop pulling out his hair after that, it was kinda funny actually, he would just start randomly screaming in the middle of class." Jeff snorted.

Jeff looked over to Nick, whose eyes suddenly had fresh tears threatening to overflow down his pale face. His face fell

"Did-,"

"I don't know why I'm here," Nick interrupted "You're an awful person, and I don't really know why I spoke to you or why I'm still speaking to you. You ruined everything, I could have just slipped away quietly and nobody would have cared that I was gone. Why did you have to find me there?" The tears were now streaming down Nicks face uncontrollably.

"I don't hate you," Jeff replied simply "That's why."

"That makes no sense."

"I think I have to be around you." Jeff admitted

"Why."

"Because for my entire life, I have hated everyone so uncontrollably that I couldn't even control my actions anymore … and then you come along and you fuck up my perfect track record and it is pissing me_ off_. So believe me, I may have ruined _your _little suicide plot, but you ruined my plan to hate the whole of humanity for the rest of my life even more."

"I'm sorry about that." He replied quietly

Jeff laughed, "So am I."

"I think I should go." Said Nick, grabbing his crutches from beside him

Jeff glanced at his wrist watch

"It's almost 12," Nick looked at him dumbfounded "We should go and get food."

"Together?"

Jeff nodded, "Unless you have plans to hide in bed for the rest of the day."

Nick shook his head

"I'll come with you."

"Fantastic."

And so they did.

* * *

**TBC**


	13. Chapter 13

It had been 4 days since the incident with the broken glass and the spilled blood. Nick had been called to Morgan's office. Their sessions had been increased to 3 a week. Nick woke around 8 for his 8:30 session. He dressed slowly, looking at the clock every few minutes to check how long he had until he had to face the torture of therapy. Time was going to fast for his liking, and he new as soon as he stepped foot inside that office, the minute hand would slow to a painful stuttering pace. He stepped out of his building at a quarter past. The winter was in full swing, leaving Nick wishing he had bothered to bring a coat out with him. The grounds were empty of patients, all still in bed at this time. There was a light shower on snow coming down from the pale white sky; the floor looked like it had been dusted with confectioner's sugar.

Morgan's receptionist sat quietly at her desk, filling out some sort of paper work when Nick walked in. She looked up at his briefly and then said

"You can go in, dear, he's waiting."

So Nick did. Morgan was sitting behind his desk holding up what looked like a newspaper cutting in front of his face, he was squinting through his thick glasses. He looked up when he heard the door click shut behind Nick.

"Hello Nicolas, thank you for coming at such an early hour."

Nick nodded in acknowledgement, walking forward to take a seat in front of the doctor. Morgan put the newspaper clipping down, and Nick waited for it

"I'm going to assume that you aren't ready to talk about it yet."

There it was.

Nick shook his head

"Is there anything to talk about?"

"Most certainly."

"But why? It's never helped me before. If anything it's just made the situation worse."

"Maybe the issue wasn't that you were talking about it, maybe it was the person you were talking about it too. Sometimes people ask the wrong questions. The questions that we don't want to be asked and it makes us feel awful keeping the answer bottled up inside."

Nick closed his eyes slowly, tipping his head to the side slowly, then reopening his eyes

"I already know what you're going to ask me though."

"Perhaps you should give me a chance."

"Perhaps you should just give up."

Morgan chuckled a little at that comment

"My, you sounded just like Mr Sterling just then. He appears to be rubbing off on you, hmm?"

Nick thought for a moment, realising that actually he had some questions to ask Doctor Morgan.

"Morgan, why did you let Jeff leave confinement?"

"Because I no longer see him as a threat." He replied simply

"How so?"

"Well, since meeting our Mr Sterling, I have come to realise that in certain situations, his bark is in fact worse than his bite, do you not agree?"

Nick did not know if he did or didn't.

"I think that perhaps confinement wasn't helping him progress in his rehabilitation, the boy needs freedom or he will refuse help from anyone."

Nick nodded, still not completely convinced that this was the real reason for Morgan's actions.

"Alas," Morgan continued, "We did not meet to converse about him, so shall we continue?"

"Certainly."

And it went as it usually did. Morgan trying so hard to get some sort of answer of information out of Nick, but Nick, as always divulged nothing. Nothing of his action, nothing of how he was feeling, and nothing of the past which Morgan so desperately yearned for information about.

Nick left the pointless meeting as he always did; with very little information shared, and a disappointed Morgan in his wake.

* * *

A few hours later, Jeff had his turn with the Doctor, he too being called in for unexpected reasons.

"Ahh yes, Jeff, do come in." Morgan greeted, looking up at the blonde boy.

Jeff rolled his eyes and kicked the door shut loudly behind him.

"What do you want now?" Not approaching the chair in front of the desk.

"I simply want to talk." Morgan replied, gesturing to the chair.

Jeff groaned and walked over, pulling the chair out and sitting down.

"If this is about Nick, you're wasting your time."

"It's not. This meeting is solely to discuss you."

"There's nothing to discuss."

"There's always something to discuss."

"What then? Are you downgrading me into low security? Or better yet, why don't you just let me go? I promise I won't kill anyone this time." Jeff said with a cheeky smile on his face.

"Jeff, as you know, this is a hospital, and as you also know, hospitals are used to make people better."

"Wait … what? I thought hospitals were just places that drug smugglers came to steal the mass amounts of chloroform you have in your aid cabinets."

"Jeff."

"Yes I am aware of this fact, thanks very much."

"In which case I would like to present an inquiry to you."

"Oh?"

"Here at Atlas we have an anger management department, and given that you are one of our anger management patients, I was simply wondering whether you would like to attend a few sessions, just to see if it helps."

Jeff snorted loudly with genuine humour.

"Are you … are you fucking kidding me? You think I'm going to sit in a room with some incense burning twat face who wants me to scream into a pillow?"

"That's not how we do it here."

"I decline your offer." Jeff said bluntly "I don't need any fucking _help_, especially not from anyone here."

Morgan sighed deeply, leaning forward onto both his elbow, linking his fingers together tightly.

"Mr. Sterling, do I have to remind you that you and I had an agreement that entailed you to have more freedom than you should be permitted to have. I would think that you would be willing to cooperate with my wishes … unless you want to be back in confinement with 24 hour watch on your every move."

"Ooh, Morgan, are you trying to blackmail me?" Jeff asked, scrunching up his nose in an amused expression.

"No, I'm simply trying to warn you. Freedom comes with a price, Sterling."

"Apparently so does dignity."

"Jeff, it is a private session. You will not be made to look like a fool in front of anyone."

"So I will be made to look like a fool then?"

"That's not what I meant."

Jeff snorted, leaning his head back onto the backboard of the chair.

"Of course if I can't sway your decision, perhaps this will."

Jeff looked at him with a bored expression. Morgan knew he couldn't say no after this, no way.

"I have spoken to one of our coordinators and he has said that you are permitted to bring someone with you, if that is what you desire, of course."

"Someone as in … who?"

"I think you know who."

"You know you really need to stop forcing him and me together. It's irritating."

Morgan chuckled, "Jeff, I'm not forcing you to spend time with anyone. I think you'll find that actually it's you who wants to be forced together with him. If you didn't you wouldn't have automatically assumed that's who I meant."

Jeff sneered at him.

"Fuck off." He growled before throwing his chair back and stomping out of the office, slamming the door shut behind him with an almighty bang.

Morgan rolled him eyes nonchalantly, his attention turning back to the never shrinking pile of paperwork accumulated on his large but messy desk.

* * *

Jeff walked to the mess hall grumpily, his feet dragging along the ground, trying to rid his mind of the constant reminder that for the first time since he had been at Atlas, Morgan had actually been right. He got to the building, pulling the door open quickly and stepping inside. He scanned the room quickly and found who he was, to his dismay, actually looking for. He walked over, and pulled out the chair opposite him, slouching down into it. Nick looked up at him, dropping his fork into his plate.

"Hello." He said quietly. The noise quickly made the anger burning up Jeff's insides snuff out a little, not a lot, but still a considerable amount. The feeling was so odd. Jeff didn't like it.

"I need you."

Nicks eyebrows knitted together almost instantly

"I ... I mean, I need you to come with me somewhere."

"Now?"

"No not … sometime soon I think."

"Where?"

Jeff exhaled loudly, his upper lip curling up in disgust.

"Anger management."

Nick's mouth fell open a little. He honestly never thought that Jeff Sterling would ever go willingly to such a thing.

"Anger management?"

"Yes, I need you to come with me."

"Why?"

"Because … because I can't go otherwise, I _won't_ go otherwise."

"Why not?"

"I don't know, I just … Just please come with me. Morgan's got my balls in a fucking vice and I need to do what the fucker says or he's gonna lock me up again."

"Oh. Well in that case …"

"You'll come?"

Nick nodded.

* * *

Outside the gates of Atlas, a car pulled up to the front gate. It stopped, engine still running, the cover or night slowly rolling over them. A guard walked up to the vehicle and tapped on the window with the back end of his gun. The window wound down with a soft hum. A man wearing a suit and a long black trench coat peered out the window to the security, who immediately fell back a few feet.

"Doctor Abraham, so good to have you back, Sir."

"It's good to be back." He replied with a smile.

The security guard immediately called for the gate guards to open the entrance to allow the esteemed doctor back in.

* * *

**TBC**


	14. Chapter 14

Jeff and nick stepped into the room, Jeff scowling at the scene in front of him. There were no other patients there, only a kind looking instructor who hadn't realised their presence yet. The room was large and white. The ceiling was high and so were the windows. There wasn't anything in the room other than a few chairs scattered around against the wall and what looked like a padded mannequin in the centre of the room with two padded … sticks leaning against the far wall.  
"Is this some kind of sick joke? Because I am not fucking laughing." Jeff hissed to Nick, inhaling deeply  
"It's not for long."  
"I'm going to kill Morgan."  
"I know." Nick replied simply  
Nick walked into the room past an already angered Jeff, the sound of his footsteps on the linoleum caused the man sitting in one of the chairs. He looked at Nick and hopped up as if startled at something. He hurried over to where Nick was  
"Ah yes, you must be, Jeff Sterling?"  
Nick shook his head, turning to where Jeff was still standing in the hall way,

"Actually, he is."  
"Ahh, ok, Morgan told me that there might be another person joining us today."

Nick gave a small nod and looked behind him to Jeff.  
Jeff walked up behind nick and placed his hands on his shoulders, "Can we just fucking start this shit please  
"Yes, of course. Right, well then, hello, my name is Marcus," He said holding out his hand, which Jeff just stared at angrily until he dropped it. "So given that this is your first session, I just wanted to do something easy to get you started."  
Marcus wandered off into the corner to pick up what looked like cushioned sticks or poles with foam blocks on the end, a little like lightweight cushioned dumbbells. Nick was about to go over and sit by the door when Jeff grabbed his arm  
"Where do you think you're going?"  
"To sit ..."  
"No. Stay with me." Jeff replied, a hint of pleading sneaking into his voice, his hand tightening on Nicks arm, then letting go.  
Nick frowned at him, but stayed close by, falling back a little so that he was lingering away a bit.  
Marcus picked up one of the objects he had gone to collect and showed it to them.  
"So basically we're going to try and channel your anger into something controlled, something that you … well you'll be able to take your aggression out on objects rather than people." he held up a plastic stick with a cylinder foam block on the end of it.  
He handed it to Jeff.  
"So what I want you to do is picture something that makes you angry."  
"You make me angry." he replied bluntly to Marcus  
"Ok, now take that anger you have for me and apply it to this task, I want you to hit the mannequin with that ram as hard as you can."  
Jeff lifted an eyebrow at him and looked back at Nick, who nodded to him.  
"Actually," He said in a stern voice, "How about I throw this at _you_. I mean if I hit that thing I won't be able to see anyone suffering. What's the point?"  
"Ok, but that's not really what we're trying to achieve here, is it?" Marcus replied

"I'm not trying to achieve anything."

"Maybe not now."

"No seriously, not ever, I really have no desire other than to smash your face in right now. Unfortunately though, if I do that then I will be locked up forever, and you are _so_ not worth the boredom."

"Well that's a relief." Marcus chuckled

"Yeah for you."  
Marcus stopped for a moment and looked at Nick, who had slowly backed away from Jeff and was now standing against the wall on the far side of the room, unable to stand there listening to Marcus and Jeff bickering anymore.  
"Nick, would you mind coming here for a second?"  
Nick walked over slowly, Jeff eyeing him up the entire time.  
"Take the other... thingy … over there."  
Nick looked at it

"Why?"

"Just … please."

Nick hesitantly went to get it.  
"Now hit Jeff with it"  
"Excuse me?" Nick replied a little nervously, while Jeff stood there looking rather amused  
"Unless Jeff has any objection to it?"

Jeff shook his head, smirking.

"This could be fun." Jeff mused.  
At that moment a small guard walked into the room  
"Marcus you have a phone call from your wife. She sounds pissed again."  
"Ah Christ. Boys you're going to have to excuse me, I'll be back in no more than ten minutes," Marcus headed to the door "And don't try and leave while I'm gone. There are security guards outside."  
Jeff turned to nick, who was timidly holding his ram loosely in his hand  
"Go on then, hit me."  
"No thank you."  
"Why not?" he asked, tapping the floor gently with the end of his stick.  
"Because I don't want to."  
"Yes you do, Nick, everyone wants to hit me."  
Nick shook his head.  
"I thought you said this was stupid anyway?"  
"I thought you said it wasn't …"  
"I'm not going to hit you." Nick said quietly, dropping his ram and gaze to the floor  
Jeff eyed his suspiciously  
"You think I'm going to get angry at you if you hit me, don't you?"  
"Just leave it, please. This is for you, not me. I don't have to be here."  
"But ya came anyway."

Nick ignored that.  
"It's not like I'm going to hurt you, Nick."  
"I never thought you were going to."  
"So prove it. Fight me, come on we might as well have fun if we can't leave."  
Nick looked up at him, frustrated.  
"I don't have to hurt you to prove that I'm not scared of you, actually."

"So just do it anyway. Stop being so damn boring."

"I'm not being …" Nick cut himself off. He was beginning to get a little agitated.

"Oh my god, just fucking _hit_ me."

Nick sighed, letting his eyes droop shut "If I do this will you leave me alone?"

Jeff snorted, "No, but you should do it anyway."

Nick looked up at him, raising one eyebrow slightly. His annoyance now soaking through his features.

He picked up his ram and walked closer to Jeff, pausing in front of him for a few seconds. He then swung the padded instrument up and whacked Jeff straight in the stomach, causing him to winch a little.  
"_Fuck_."  
Nick backed away a few feet, getting ready for the return hit.  
"That all you got, Duval?" Jeff laughed, rubbing his stomach a little.  
Nick looked at Jeff, who was sporting a rather mischievous look on his face.  
"No … I …"  
Jeff laughed a little, dropping his ram and walking over to nick and lifting his ram up for him so that nick was clutching rig just above his right ear  
"Now hit me, right in the face" Said Jeff, leaning towards Nick

Nick breathed in heavily a few times, "Jeff …"

"Just one more time."

Nick shook his head slowly, as if unsure about what he wanted to do.

Jeff was about to pull away, finding no fun in the situation, when _THWACK_.

Nick's ram came down across Jeff's cheek, causing his whole head to whip to the side with a loud crack from his neck. Nick felt the ram drop from his hold, his hand slapping against his mouth.

Jeff's face was still turned to the side, he stood there silent, not moving, not reacting. Nick started to panic

"Jeff … I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you …" Nick raised an arm, almost to touch Jeff's face, but he let it drop and began to back away. Jeff had never hurt him before, but he knew he was capable of.

"… I can go if you'd like …" Nick said quietly, Jeff still hadn't moved, but Nick could see his jaw tensing. "Please don't be angry …" Nick said, almost desperately

Jeff's head turned towards him, his expression surprisingly soft.

"Please don't be angry." Nick repeated.

"I'm not …" Jeff whispered, grabbing a hold of Nicks arm, looking back at him, a small smile lingering on his lips "You should do that more often."

"You're unbelievable."

"Mhmm," Jeff hummed, pulling Nick closer to him "And you have remained unharmed."

Nick nodded slowly, looking right into Jeff's almost black eyes. Slowly, and without thought of actions, he brought his hand up to hold Jeff's chin, pushing his face to the side to take a look at his face.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Jeff shook his head, looking back to Nick, Nick's hand still cupping his chin.

Nick had failed to realise until that moment how close their faces really were, and suddenly he felt himself drawing back, Jeff's gaze still boring into his.

And then they were just looking at each other. Everything was silent, but something lingered in the air between them. Something unsaid, something nagging.

So many words unsaid, and yet they had nothing to say.

They may had gone on hours had it not been for the return of Marcus, who was sporting a new look of annoyance on his face.

Nick was the first to drop gaze. He walked over and sat on one of the chairs without looking back at Jeff.

Jeff inhaled loudly, shaking his head.

Everything suddenly felt _wrong_.

* * *

"And how is the divorce settlement going?" Morgan asked Marcus that evening as they sat drinking scotch in his office.

"Morgan, we're separated; there is no talk about divorce."

Morgan's glass clinked down against the wooden table top

"No, but I sense that you are having intimate talks with your conscience about it though."

"That obvious?"

"Only by your general disgust at the mere mention of her name."

Marcus laughed, "Well, yeah … But I think that there's something else you want to ask me."

"You know me so well."

"I do."

"Go ahead. It was actually a very interesting day."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, that Jeff, he's an odd one, isn't he?"

Morgan frowned at him "Odd? I don't think such a word has been used to describe him by a member of our staff yet."

"Are you kidding me? The kid is sort of … well I've only met him once, but in that hour or so … he's very … he's very complex."

Morgan nodded for him to continue.

"How many people died in that fire he started?"

"Four."

"And he's here for what exactly? Murder?"

"In a certain sense, yes."

"Right, so the kid has killed four people, and I thought to myself when you told me about him, I thought "_Oh ok this guy is going to be terrifying_", but he wasn't. At all."

"Continue."

"Right, yeah, so I was trying to get him to hit this mannequin but he wouldn't stop arguing with me, and then I remembered that he brought his friend with him, Nick. So I thought that I could use him in an exercise with Jeff."

"Marcus …"

"No, no, just listen. So I told Nick to hit Jeff, you know, nothing to hard but just to hit him, and initially he refused, and then I got a phone call and had to leave for a few minutes so I'm not really sure what happened in that time but I lingered by the door for a minute or two, just watching them. And Jeff basicallyforced Nick to hit him _across the face_, and I thought that I was going to have to get the security guards in because I thought he was gonna be _pissed_,

But the weirdest thing happened. He wasn't angry _at all_; in fact I think I recall him actually smiling at Nick."

Morgan nodded slowly.

"I just think that maybe sometimes Jeff's bark might be worse than his bite. I know that he killed people but I think there might be something there … something human. He didn't hurt Nick, even after Nick hit him across the face. Don't you think that's weird?"

"Not at all," Morgan replied quietly "I think it's because he has something now that is a beacon of hope in his hate filled mind of his."

"And what is that something?"

Morgan smiled.

"Nick. I truly believe that Jeff feels very protective over Nick, like a brother, do you understand?"

Marcus nodded, smiling back at him.

But truth be told, he didn't quite understand the part about _like a brother_. Because not only had Marcus seen Jeff not hurting Nick, he had also seen the look on Jeff's face when he thought nobody else was around and it was only the two of them.

And no-one Marcus knew would ever look at a _brother_ in that way.

* * *

TBC

btw, the reason this chapter looks so odd is because I wrote it on my iPad. Apologies.


	15. Chapter 15

Abe loved being back at Atlas. He loved the location, he loved the ocean air, and he loved having his job back.

Of course he still hated the patients, which would never change, but the general pleasure of being back in his normal environment still resided within him.

It was January, 1963, and the weather was cold, which was not at all uncommon for that time of year. The trees were barren and the air stung with the bitter cold. He had to hurry to get to his office in the surgery … well it wasn't a surgery per-say, but it was just easier to refer to it as that considering that some forms of surgery did exist there. He reached the door and pulled out the keys. The door usually took a bit of a push to get open but with a good kick it would swing open no problem. He flicked on the lights and hung his coat on it, smoothing out the lapel of his suit jacket before he started towards the large metal doors that led into his surgery. He walked in, switching on the light as he brushed past the switch, causing the metallic overhead lighting to flicker on giving the room an uncomfortable blue hue which Abe had learned to love at his time there.

The light gave him a sense of justice.

A sense of achievement.

In the end he always got both.

The room was medium sized, with a grey padded cot against the right wall, and a white plastic armchair in the middle. There was a metal cabinet in the left back corner containing all his utensils. The room was immaculate.

Morgan always made sure every last drop of blood was cleaned up.

He walked over to the cabinet, flicked the lock, and pulled out a long leather wallet which was held together by a metal clasp. He took the wallet over to the cot and placed it down, unhooking the clasp and pulling the sides open. He smoothed out the fabric and slid out one of the objects inside, admiring its ornate, glowing beauty. He held it up to the light, watching the shimmer dance along its surface. He was about to place it back when he heard footsteps outside the room approaching, then the swing of the door opening.

He turned around to see Morgan standing there.

"I thought we agreed that you were allowed back on one condition."

"They were expensive."

"One condition." Morgan repeated.

"No more lobotomies. I did hear you when you told me, Morgan."

"Good. Now put your prize orbitoclasts away and come have a drink with me."

"Lovely. I'll be over in a few minutes."

"Very good." Morgan replied, pulling the door open again and slipping out into the dark hallway.

He turned back to the objects in front of him, sliding back in the one he had pulled out. He closed the wallet and re-hooked it together. He let a finger caress the expensive leather that encased them.

He smiled.

"Lovely." He whispered before abandoning the room and heading over the grounds to Morgan's office.

* * *

"Are you coming with me today?" Jeff asked Nick the following day at breakfast.

"Where?" Nick asked quietly, his head resting in his cupped hands.

"Fucking anger management again. I have another bullshit session this afternoon."

"Oh." Nick replied, not wanting to revisit the memories of the previous session and that strange moment.

"So?"

"Oh … well if I'm allowed to."

"Fuck it. Who's gonna stop you?"

Nick nodded, down casting his eyes.

If only Nick had been looking at Jeff would he have caught the rare look of concern that was slowly spreading along Jeff's features. But as soon as Jeff caught the actions he corrected himself. He refused to feel those things. Refused.

They ate the rest of their meal in silence.

* * *

_The previous night_

_Morgan and Abraham sat in Morgan's office sipping on whisky and catching up on times past when Abe had a sudden thought of remembrance_

"_Morgan, did you say that your patient Sterling has started remedial therapy?"_

"…_I did yes."_

"_Would you permit me to observe their next session?"_

"_For what purpose?"_

"_Curiosity. And I wanted to visit Marcus; I haven't seen him in a while."_

_Morgan hesitated for a second. As much as he respected and liked Abraham, there was still a nagging feeling of danger associated with him. _

_Morgan feared that Abraham may be beginning to hone in on Nick as his next subject._

_He could only pray that Nick wouldn't give any more reasons to make more people want him gone._

"Jeff, please just hit it." Said Marcus tiredly.

"This is fucking stupid."

"Ok well then just do it and then you can leave … nobody gets hurt."

"I think you are."

Marcus let his eyes fall shut "Yes ok, because you're going to hurt me. I know."

"Exactly. So shut the fuck up."

"But you're not, are you? So please, for both of our sakes just hit the mannequin. It will probably do us both some good."

Jeff turned around to look at Nick who was sat against the wall behind him. Nick looked up to him and nodded. Jeff felt his facial muscles soften and a smile tug at his lips.

"Jeff." Marcus called out.

Jeff's head snapped back around to look at him.

"What?"

"Can we do this please?"

Jeff tilted his head to the side "Fine." He said through gritted teeth. Marcus wasn't going to let this go.

He turned to the mannequin, lifted his stick, and then began to pound it, over and over and over again, letting himself completely unravel and he just hit it without thought.

He was losing himself.

Marcus and Nick both watched, shocked at the sudden outburst Jeff had had. He wouldn't stop hitting it, and with every hit it got harder and harder and harder until there was a loud cracking sound and Jeff froze, his stick mid-air. The mannequin fell to the floor, a large crack spread down the centre of it.

Marcus spoke after a few silent moments

"Well I guess I'll be throwing that out."

Jeff still hadn't moved, but simply let the stick fall to the floor with a soft thud. Marcus looked at Nick, unaware of what to do.

Without speaking, Nick rose slowly from where het sat, pushing himself off the wall to haul himself up. Jeff still hadn't moved.

Nick walked over slowly till he was right next to Jeff's still out stretched arm. Nick inhaled deeply and placed his hand just below Jeff's shoulder blade, ever so lightly, not wanting to startle him. He slid his hand up to Jeff's shoulder and tugged as lightly as he could. Jeff slowly dropped his arm to his side, and slowly spun around. The expression on his face was completely blank, but his eyes were intent only on Nick.

Without thinking of his actions, Nick slowly lifted his arms up around Jeff's neck and pulled him into a hug, which Jeff automatically shifted into, allowing his arms to wind around Nick's waist.

Neither of them spoke. Neither of them moved. Nick could feel Jeff's breath against his neck and the tightening of his arms around his waist.

They had all but forgotten about the presence of Marcus until the man cleared his throat in acknowledgement.

Jeff pulled away at once, whipping around to look at him, and then the smashed up mannequin on the floor.

"You're gonna need to get a new one of those." Jeff said bluntly.

Marcus was about to reply when they heard a slow clapping noise from the doorway. They three of them looked over to see a man in a very well pressed suit leaning against the door frame.

"Abe!" Marcus said in surprise "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see the show." Abe replied, his gaze flicking towards Jeff.

"I didn't know you were back at Atlas."

"Got back last night."

"Ah, right, ok. Well we're done here I think. Jeff and Nick you can go now if you want."

Jeff looked at Abe, and then looked back to Nick, cocking his head to the side slightly, signalling to leave. Nick nodded and followed Jeff to the door.

"Lovely to see you in action, Mr Sterling."

Jeff halted next to him and Nick tensed, ready to grab hold of Jeff if necessary. But it was unnecessary. Jeff looked up and down, sneering, and then walked away down the corridor outside with Nick following

"You too, Nick." They heard Abe call down the hallway a few seconds later. It only made Nick walk faster.

Abe walked into the room towards the smashed up mannequin on the ground. Marcus copied his actions

"Well he certainly knows how to perform a thorough destruction."

"Yup. I really have no clue where that even came from."

Abe laughed a little "Oh Marcus, it's always there. He's just on a timer. He only goes off when the clock reaches zero."

Marcus nodded, reaching down to pick up the top half of the mannequin.

"So what really brings you here today?" Marcus asked, walking over to the corner of the room to drop the broken apparatus down. He walked back over to pick up the rest.

"Just observing. I'd heard a lot about this Jeff."

"Mmm, well I'd be surprised if you hadn't."

"How are his sessions going?"

"He's only had two, Abe."

"That wasn't an answer to my question."

"Fine. They're going fine. He hates them but it's his only choice."

"Or he'll be back in confinement."

"He'll do anything to avoid that again."

"Will he now?"

Marcus nodded, exhaling loudly.

"Don't patronise him, Abe. Just don't."

Abe smiled at him sweetly "Wouldn't dream of it." He replied, before turning on his heel and walking out of the door.

* * *

Jeff and Nick walked out into the cold Atlas air together. Jeff didn't seem as pissed as Nick thought he would be.

"Who the fuck was that guy?"

Nick shook his head "I don't know."

"Creepy fuck." He said before trailing off down the path leading into the trees that lined the main courtyard.

Nick followed behind.

"Jeff." He said just loud enough for Jeff to hear him. Jeff looked behind him but continued to walk, slowing down only a little.

"What?"

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fucking ace."

"Sure?"

"… Why? Do I look like I'm about to die or something?"

"No … it's just …"

Jeff finally stopped, staring at Nick with scrunched up eyebrows

"Nothing. It's nothing." Nick finished, catching up to where Jeff was. They walked back in comfortable silence, as they usually did.

Nick didn't know if Jeff didn't want to mention his odd episode or he had just not acknowledged it. But Nick didn't quite know what to think of it.

It pained Nick to think that he hadn't been hugged like that in forever. Like someone was holding him and they never wanted to let go.

* * *

_The next day_

Nick sat down in Morgan's office. Morgan, as usual, was finishing that last piece of paperwork from his last patient.

He looked around the room while he waited, his eyes tracing along the award certificates on the walls, and the books that went with them. The room was like a tiny library. He couldn't believe he had never realised before, but then again, why would he have noticed?

"Right then. All done." Said Morgan, brushing the paperwork off to the side of his desk.

"How are you this morning, Nick?"

"Fine." He replied

"Good." Morgan nodded, scratching the back of his head.

"I'm going to assume for assumptions sake that you do not wish to discuss your life right now, correct?"

Nick nodded.

"So why don't you tell me about your time at Marcus' office? You and Jeff have been … twice?"

"Yes."

"Well the good thing is that he hasn't killed Marcus yet."

"He's not going to." Nick replied quite confidently

"Oh?" Morgan raised his eyebrows

"Marcus doesn't treat him like a criminal. He likes that … I think."

"Well yes, Marcus is very much … unbiased when it comes to the patients."

"He is." Nick agreed.

"I was thinking perhaps that Jeff might go to his next session alone, if you think that would be ok."

"Why?"

Morgan thought for a moment. He didn't quite know how to put this.

"Well, the thing is that Jeff can't become dependant on you to always go with him, and I think that Marcus wants to see him on his own."

"Of course."

"Just one session. I want you to go back with him on the one after the next. Understood?"

"Yes."

"Thank you."

* * *

_The previous night_

Marcus walked into Morgan's study. There was already a glass of something strong on the table for him.

"So. How did this one go?"

"Really great, actually."

"Oh?"

"Yeah … but umm, I'm not quite sure what it was, so I think that he needs to come alone next time. I have no problem with Nick being there … it's just … I think that he sort of … calms Nick down a bit, you know?"

Morgan blinked at him, smiling slightly. Marcus knew exactly what that look meant.

"You do know," Marcus continued "Would you mind asking Nick not to come to the next one? I just want him alone for one. Nick can come back on the next one if he wants."

"Ok I'll tell him."

"Thank you."

"What made you realise?"

"Realise what?"

"About Nick making him calm."

"Oh. Just because Jeff is basically awful to everyone except Nick. I've never seen anything like it. I mean, you know, considering Jeff sort of killed the people he was suppose to love the most."

"Well if you ask me, we're only scratching the surface of Jeff, and Nick … but the thing is that Nick is a slow burner, he's not going to suddenly change. There's not going to be some monumental revelation. However Jeff, Jeff is a series of explosions. He's going to change so suddenly that he doesn't even realise it. I just sincerely hope that he doesn't destroy himself in the process too."

* * *

**TBC**


	16. Chapter 16

_January 1963_

Morgan was concerned. More than he usually was. He had brought Abe back to Atlas solely on the basis that he was highly skilled in the medical field and Morgan needed him there. But Abe was supportive of everything that Morgan was not. Abe believed that if there is no permanent solution to somebody's problems then you create one by all means necessary. Morgan believed that instead of always trying to find a solution you try and find a way to make the problem less consuming. He believed that if a person has an impossible challenge but is eternally dead set on an impossible and humane solution to their issues then they will be searching forever, mainly in the case of mental patients, of course.

Morgan hoped that he and Abe would be able to find common ground, but over their time as collegues he had found that Abe only had one goal; To destroy. And he would sneak his way in and out of the rules to make sure every last patient was made brain dead if he could. It had happened before and it probably would happen again. But Morgan couldn't lose him … he couldn't lose more staff.

But he also couldn't lose more patients, and he knew there wasn't a lot he could do once Abe picked the next boy to go under the needle.

And Morgan feared that Abe had already made his choice.

He couldn't let it happen again.

He refused.

* * *

"What do you want?" Jeff asked as he walked into Morgan's office. He had been called over there for an unscheduled meeting a few minutes earlier

"It's a pleasure to see you too, Jeff. I just wanted to have a quick talk with you about your session with Marcus this week."

Jeff walked over to a chair and slumped down into it. He raised his eyebrows at Morgan questionably.

"I just wanted to let you know that … Marcus would prefer it if just for your coming session that you go alone."

"What." Jeff replied bluntly.

"I understand that this is not som-,"

"No. You fucking said that I could have him with me. So he's going to come with me."

"Jeff it's just one session."

"_I don't give a damn." _Jeff spat

"One session."

"Why? It's not like he affects the session by being there … he just sits in the fucking corner." Jeff replied, emphasizing the word 'session' in an especially mocking tone

"So you won't even notice that he's gone."

"I … this is bullshit."

"Jeff … why does it bother you so much that Nick can't go with you?"

"It doesn't! I just don't want to be in a room with that idiot alone."

"Well I'm afraid you don't have a choice."

"Wow. You are such a cunt."

Morgan frowned at him. This was interesting.

"Jeff, you can't rely on Nick to always be with you."

"I don't."

"So you'll have no problem going alone."

Jeff was scowling at him, unable to conjure up a good enough argument; he kicked his chair away and stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind him with an almighty bang. Morgan then heard a scraping noise and the sound of something large falling onto the floor outside his office.

Morgan hurried from his chair and pulled the door open to find the wooden empty coat rack in the foyer to his office smashed to pieces on the ground. Morgan looked at his receptionist, who was filing something away into a pigeon hole.

"He pushed it over," She said to him without looking up "Do you want me to get security?"

Morgan peered out of the window in the front door and saw Jeff storming off down the pathway that led to the main courtyard.

"No, he's going to find someone. He'll be fine. Just get someone to come a clean this mess up." He gestured to the broken heap in front of him, and then disappeared back inside his office.

* * *

_Earlier that day_

_Nick was sat in Morgan's office, there for the second time already that week. He hoped that the sessions would decrease over time but Morgan persisted. _

_This may have actually been the first time he had regretted attempting to end his life again._

"_I know you don't like to hear this," Morgan began after trying and failing to get any sort of feasible response from Nick regarding how he was "But your mother called again."_

_Nick exhaled loudly, pressing his tongue up against his soft palette. The woman would not give up._

"_You know my opinion on that subject." Nick replied quietly._

"_She just wants to see you." Morgan replied._

"_Why? What will she gain?"_

_Morgan gave him a weak smile._

"_She just wants to see you." He repeated, this time slower and softer._

"_No."_

_Morgan nodded in acknowledgement of his decision._

"_But I must make it clear to you that you will have to see her some time in the near future. For you, it is mandatory."_

_Nick didn't reply. This subject had been brought up so much in the last 3 months that Nick was almost sick of hearing about it. He had made up his mind. He didn't want to see her. _

_He was still incapable of forgiving her for finding him when he was so close to what he had been dreaming of for years. If it wasn't for her he wouldn't be trapped in the hell hole that was Atlas institute._

"_Alas, we will cross that bring when we come to it."_

_Nick nodded solemnly, crooking his neck to peer at the inviting exit door behind. _

"_Actually," Morgan piped up suddenly "I just remembered that I needed to ask you a favour."_

_Nicks eyebrows shot up "Oh?"_

"_Yes … well it's more of a favour for Marcus, Jeff's anger management counsellor."_

"_What would that be?"_

"_He was just wondering if perhaps you would be so kind as to not go to Jeff's session with him this week."_

"_Oh, ok." Nick replied quietly_

"_You're not causing a bother or anything; it's just that Marcus is interested to see how Jeff acts without you around."_

"_I don't understand."_

_Morgan nodded, leaning forward onto his elbows and removing his glasses_

"_I think Jeff is just slightly calmer around you and perhaps holds back anger that Marcus wants to see him vent out. That's all."_

"_Ok, I get that but why is this favour to Marcus?" Nick inquired, knowing full well that this would probably end up making Jeff pissed of as anything._

"_Well because Jeff is coming here in about an hour and I'm going to tell him that he can't bring you and that's going to annoy him. So when he tells you … would you mind just reassuring him? I know it's not your job to council him, but you seem to be the only one he responds to in a civilised manor."_

_Nick nodded "No, that's fine."_

* * *

Nick found Jeff in the courtyard waiting for him. It was unseasonably mild and sunny so Nick didn't mind being outside so much. Jeff walked over to the bench and slammed his body down onto it, his almost black eyes burning with visible fury.

Nick knew exactly what he was going to say.

"The fucker said that you can't come with me."

Of course.

"I know."

Jeff looked at him, the muscles in his face relaxing a little.

"What?"

"He asked me if it was ok, I said yes."

Jeff drew back, scowling at him.

"Why?!"

"Because it's one session. It won't kill you."

"What the fuck?! The only reason I go is because you are there too."

"Jeff, all I do is sit in the corner, you'll be fine."

"No but … ughh, fine, whatever, I don't care."

"Good."

"Actually, I do-."

"Jeff." Nick cut in loudly.

Jeff huffed in annoyance and leaned back so that his head was resting on the top part of the back support panel.

"Sorry," Nick said softly "I … just go, please?"

Jeff rolled his head to the side to look at him.

"Fine."

"But only because of you." He added.

Nick nodded, smiling to himself as Jeff let his eyes fall shut

"It's so fucking hot today." Said Jeff.

Nick mirrored Jeff's position.

"It's about 60 degrees, Jeff."

"Yeah. It's a fucking heat wave."

Nick laughed a little, letting his body slide down a little more so that he was comfortably slouched.

Jeff looked at him again, this time biting back a smile.

"You didn't run away this time."

"Why would I?"

"Well you never laugh, and the one time you did you ran off. Well actually more like stumbled off. You still had those fucking crutches."

"Oh …" Nick barely remembered the crutches. He just about realised during the last few days of December that Susanna had taken the crutches away and his leg had stopped throbbing so much. Things got lost in his mind when he was at Atlas. It was kind of creepy sometimes.

And the whole laughing thing was stupid really. Most people would totally not acknowledge something as simple as a laugh, but not Nick. No, Nick had come to find during his dark days that his sadness was triggered. Sometimes by something small, sometimes something big, but it was always triggered by something. And he had also come to find that laughing was such a high point of happiness for him that the fall down from that happiness made him fall even deeper into darkness then he ever was. But this time he felt no drop. It was an odd feeling.

"It's good you didn't this time though. Because I'm a pretty hilarious motherfucker … wouldn't want to scare you off."

"Oh I think if you scared me by just making me laugh I would have started avoiding you a long time ago." Nick retorted.

Jeff nodded, closing his eyes.

"But you didn't."

"No I didn't."

"Why the fuck not?"

"Why didn't I avoid you?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know. Maybe because after a while I realised that I wasn't scared of you."

"You should always be scared of me, Nick. I might accidently lash out at you and rip you to pieces. You should be more careful." Jeff replied as a mock threat.

"No you won't." He replied bluntly.

"How the fuck do you know?"

"I think because maybe you only hurt people who you think are weaker than you. That's why you spend all your time scaring people. I do understand why people are scared of you, but personally I'm not."

Jeff just nodded, not wanting to admit that what Nick had just said was pretty much completely true.

Jeff let his eyes fall closed, readjusting himself on the bench so that he was a little closer to Nick.

"I'm glad by the way."

"Glad about what?" Nick asked.

"That you didn't avoid me. Things would be pretty shit if you had … well you know … shitter than they already are."

Nick wasn't quite sure what to respond with. Never had anyone ever told him that they actually appreciated his company before. Most people only pitied him for being 'Nick Duval, the boy who was ever so unhappy'.

Jeff didn't say anything after that, he just stayed completely still, his breathing even and shallow.

Nick swore after a while the he had actually fallen asleep.

"Jeff." Nick whispered just in case.

He didn't respond.

"Hey." He said again a little louder.

He was completely out of it.

Nick looked around. Nobody else was there other than a few wandering guards in the background, which was strange considering it was such a nice day. But then again not many people were ever really seen outside. Most patients stayed inside all day and the one that didn't were usually rolling around in the grass somewhere.

Nick sat up a little, still looking at Jeff. He looked so relaxed and Nick envied that. He could never fall asleep in anywhere other than a bed. He wasn't really sure why.

One of Jeff's hands was resting against his abdomen and the other palm up on the bench seat. Nick looked at the outstretched hand for a second, and then without really realising what he was doing, placed his hand against Jeff's, palm to palm. Jeff's hands were a little bigger than Nicks, but not by a lot. Nick looked back to his face. His eyes were still closed and he hadn't stirred.

He slotted his fingers in between Jeff's fingers, letting them linger for a moment, and just as he was about to pull away, Jeff's fingers clenched around his, curling up, holding Nicks hand against his firmly. Nick looked back to Jeff's face, expecting to see Jeff looking at him with those oddly dark eyes, but his eyes were still closed, unchanged. Nick sat back again. He tightened his fingers around Jeff's hand, mirroring.

He looked back to Jeff for a final time, feeling an overwhelming amount of calm wash over him.

He really had no idea what was going on.

* * *

**TBC **


	17. Chapter 17

Jeff awoke suddenly as a sudden gush of lukewarm air gushed over him. The barren trees above him were swaying slightly. He looked at the wrist that was buckled around him left wrist; 12:35pm. The sun was high in the sky, blaring down on him through the breaks in the trees. He could feel a weight pressed against his right hand. He groaned quietly, rolling his shoulders around to get the feeling back after being pressed against the bench rest for the past hour or so. He looked to his hand.

There was another in it.

He looked to his right. Nick was sitting there, asleep.

They were holding hands.

Jeff was holding someone's hand.

His insides were screaming at him but he couldn't quite will himself to pull away.

He looked around. He saw only 2 or 3 guards in the distance. The place was crawling with them. It seemed that Morgan had begun to employ more and more every week that Jeff had been there.

He looked back to their intertwined hands and slowly began to edge his hand away. His heart was hammering against his rib cage. He needed to get away.

He got his hand free without causing Nick to stir.

He edged his way off the bench and began to run, his legs aching with numbness as they fell towards the ground with every long stride.

He reached the medium security block after no time, yanking open the door and leaving it ajar behind him. He didn't even notice the three nurses sitting at the front desk.

"Mr Sterling, come back here a sign yourself in."

Jeff stopped and turned around to look at them.

"No." He said sternly, walking away from them up the stairs without looking back. He reached the upstairs corridor and began down it, passing by each medium security patient on his way towards him room, occasionally slowing a little to get a quick leer at the most unhinged looking patient of the day. There was a boy of around 18 standing with his face pressed against the wall midway down the hallway. He was muttering to himself under his breath, scratching jagged patterns into the wall with a rusty looking 25 cent coin

"You're blocking the fucking hallway." Jeff barked at him as he walked past him. The boy didn't react. None of the patients at Atlas did, well, the vast majority didn't anyway. Jeff reached the door of his room, with a long piece of card slid into a holder on the front of it with _'Sterling, Jeffrey."_ written on it. He pushed the door open and walked over to the drawer set in the corner, pulling out a large and blindingly white towel out.

Everything at Atlas was white. White and sterile. Sometimes Jeff wondered if it was almost too clean. He dumped his jacket on his bed and took off back down the hall, this time in the opposite direction towards the washrooms.

There was a guard outside the door with the key hanging from his belt loop on a chain.

Jeff stopped in front of him.

"Can you open the door?" He asked

"Please." The guard replied in a hinting tone.

"Can you open the fucking door?" Jeff repeated, ignoring what the guard had just said to him.

The guard rolled his eyes and unlocked the door, pushing it open for Jeff.

"You've got 5 minutes." The guard said

"Thanks baby." Jeff yelled behind him as he slammed the door

"Fucker." He muttered under his breath as he threw the towel onto the floor and walked to the shower to turn it on. He walked over to the mirror that was attached to the wall above the sink. The steam from the shower was already beginning to make it fog up. He wiped his hand over it, stopping midway to look at his hand ,the hand that had been holding Nick's. He dropped it, feeling himself shudder.

"Don't be weak." He whispered to himself, staring himself right in the eyes.

Jeff always looked at his eyes when he felt a rare bought of decay festering towards him. They were so dark, and most of the time he realised that people were scared of him partially because they were so close to black. Perhaps the fact that he had almost bleached blonde hair made it look even creepier.

He took a deep breathe and smiled to himself. He wasn't weak. He could never be weak.

He was just losing himself a little. He was fine.

He knew.

He hoped.

Jeff peeled off his shirt and slacks, dropping them on the floor beneath him. He turned around to take a look at his back over his shoulder. The skin was healed but deeply scarred, spreading across over almost all of his back, stopping only just above the small of his back and just below the bump of the top of his spine. He gyrated his shoulder blades, watching the damaged skin ripple over the bones. He really did like the scarring, or as he liked to call it, his 'battle scars'. He finally peeled off his underwear and stepped into the shower, letting the hot water splash over him, filling in all the cracks of imperfections that were beginning to show through his previously smooth concrete exterior.

He pressed his hands up against the tile wall of the shower, and then resting his head on them gently.

If he were a normal human being he would have probably been able to admit to himself that he was weak.

But of course that wasn't quite the case.

Instead he repeated one sentence, like a mantra until he had to haul himself out of the shower into the cold air of the bathroom.

"_You don't love, you hate. You don't love, you hate. You don't love … you ... you hate …"_

Jeff took a deep breath in and held it for a few seconds before slowly letting it out.

This needed to stop.

* * *

Nick woke up, alone.

Jeff was gone. His hand was empty, and so was the feeling in his stomach. It was still warm and breezy but Nick felt cold.

And then it hit him. The dread.

He could feel it trickling into his pores, devouring him. He felt like he was drowning.

Nick could feel his breathing begin to quicken and he scrambled to get off the bench, keeling over as soon as he was on his feet.

"No, no, no, no ….." He chanted over and over again, wishing it away with every ounce of his being.

He stood up straight looking around frantically. Where was Jeff?

Nick needed him.

He knew at that moment that that he needed him.

Jeff was the only one who could keep it away.

But Jeff was gone and he didn't know why. He could feel lukewarm tears falling down his cheeks.

His building was only 100 or so metres away. He could make it, he just needed to sleep.

He managed to make it through the door with near to no problem. He staggered to the front desk to scribble his name on the sign in/out sheet and went upstairs to his room. Everyone was asleep and Susanna wasn't around, thankfully, so he kicked off his shoes and threw the blankets over himself with all his clothes including his jacket still on.

He wrapped the sheets around himself tightly, trying to concentrate on his shallow breathing and not the voice in his head roaring at him, telling him how idiotic and foolish he was.

The worst part was that he knew it was because of Jeff. Before it was unexplained, a phenomenon. He knew there was nothing apart from his emotions towards the smallest things influencing it.

But now he knew that he was developing a dependency.

And something as small as holding hands had made him realise that.

He needed him.

His crazy Jeff.

* * *

_3 days later_

Jeff made his way to Marcus' office. He hadn't seen or spoken to Nick since he had left him on the bench.

He couldn't admit to himself to himself that he was worried. He refused to.

Nicks absence had in fact made it easier for Jeff to regain some of the rage that had fizzled away with the distraction of Nick.

Truth be told, Jeff didn't really mind the anger management building, or the 'Physical counselling building' as it was formally known as. It wasn't as dreary as the rest and it was better than his weekly visits to Morgans office.

He found Marcus as he usually did, loitering around his room occasionally

Doing some paper work or playing around with some of the equipment there.

Marcus looked up as soon as Jeff entered the room

"Morning, Jeff."

Jeff simply stood there, smiling at him, his black eyes boring into him.

Marcus frowned, "Wow, you really like being creepy, don't you?"

"Personally I prefer 'eccentric looking' but fuck it."

Marcus nodded. He knew the session was going to be tedious but he needed to figure something out.

He just hoped that Jeff would let him figure it out.

Much to Jeffs surprise, Marcus picked up a football that had been sitting in the corner of the room.

"Careful with that," Jeff began, "You might throw it too hard and smash someones brains in with it … or maybe that will be me. Hard to tell."

"Oh I think we'll be ok." Marcus replied calmly

For a brief moment the tone of Marcus' voice reminded him a little of Nicks. He felt his face drop as he instinctively looked behind him, expecting to see Nick sitting there staring off into space. But it was only the two of them, nobody else.

Jeff didn't need nor want anyone but himself.

He turned back to Marcus, who had a confused expression clouding his features. Marcus looked like he was about to say something but quickly stopped himself. Instead, he walked over to Jeff and handed him the ball.

"I want you to walk to the opposite end of the room." Marcus instructed him.

"Why?"

"Just do it. Please."

Jeff rolled his eyes and complied, stomping off down the other end of the room, which was a small distance.

When he reached the far wall he turned to Marcus, who nodded at him.

"Ok so what I want to do today is for you to concentrate your anger."

"Excuse me?"

"Right, so for instance, I'm going to say a persons name or place name or anything, and you need to throw the ball at a force equal to that of the anger you feel towards that certain thing."

"That's fucking stupid."

"No it's not." Marcus replied, shaking his head with a smile.

So Jeff decided to do it. He had a good throwing arm anyway, if Marcus started to get too annoying he really probably could smash his face in a little bit.

"Ok so first, your family."

Jeff threw him the ball at a normal speed

"Easy. They're dead."

"Thanks to you, yes."

Jeff just laughed and Marcus threw the ball back.

"Doctor Morgan."

Jeffs eyebrow spiked up, and this time threw the ball harder, causing Marcus to almost miss catching it.

Marcus threw it back.

"Actually, let's try … Everyone who works here."

Nick laughed a little, looking down at the ball before letting the pure hatred that he felt for the people there take him over. He leaned back slightly for leverage, then threw the ball full force at Marcus. It shot through the air at an alarming speed. Marcus was too late to avoid the thing.

It hit him straight in the face. Marcus' head was smacked backwards as the ball hit him on his forehead. The ball ricochet off his head and bounced onto the floor.

Jeff let out a peel of laughter as Marcus clutched at his throbbing head.

The boy really could throw.

"So I'm guessing that we aren't your favourite people."

Jeff tried to reply but every time he opened his mouth he began to laugh harder.

"You're such a moron!" Jeff eventually managed to screech out, wiping the tears away from his cheeks.

"Yeah maybe I won't do this one again." He muttered, walking over to where the ball had settled to pick it up. He gave his still throbbing head a little pressure with the slightly cooler backside of his hand before throwing the ball back to Jeff for the last time.

Jeff caught it, frowning at him.

"Do you have a death wish or something?" Jeff asked. He really thought the last one would finish him off so that he could leave and go annoy people.

"Just one more." Marcus replied, knowing that this could go one of two ways.

Marcus took a deep breath, ready to duck this time if his plan went awry.

"Nick." He said, loud and simple.

He could see Jeff's face fall. He didn't react, he just stood there silently.

Marcus wondered whether Jeff had even heard him at all.

Jeff had heard him perfectly though, and he knew exactly what Marcus was doing. He was testing him.

Jeff looked down at the ball. He was starting to really wish that he could conjure up some sort of anger against Nick, but any he could was artificial. He would never really be able to feel true anger against Nick, no matter how hard he tried.

"Jeff?" Marcus called out after a while.

Jeff's head snapped up "What?"

"You were kinda supposed to throw it."

"Why Nick?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why would you say Nick when you know that I don't … that was pointless."

"It's a simply exercise, Jeff."

Jeff shook his head, and dropped the ball to the floor nonchalantly

"This is bullshit."

"You can't feel anger towards him, can you?"

"You don't fucking know me."

"No, I don't. But I see the way you look at him."

Jeff was taken aback. A deep frown creased his brows together

"What the hell does that mean?"

Marcus sighed. Jeff really had no idea.

"Nothing. You can go if you want." Marcus replied

Jeff shook his head, as if shaking away an idea of something that had slipped into his mind.

"Ugh … asshole."

* * *

After his session with Jeff, Marcus returned back to his smaller room where he had his main office; a small white room with a desk, a bookcase, a few souvenirs and pictures, and his telephone. He set his notes down on the desk for the day and sat in his chair. The clock read 4pm. He usually received a call from his wife at that time once a week; and low and behold as soon as that thought entered his mind the phone began to ring

He picked it up, hesitantly.

"Hello, dear."

"Where's my money?"

"What money?"

"The money that you are suppose to give to me every month. I think you may have forgotten to send it."

"Oh, yes. Actually I did send it. Just not to you."

"Well then who did you send it to?"

"Someone who deserves and needs it more than you do."

There was a short, tense pause.

"You wouldn't dare."

"Already have, I'm afraid."

"How could you? After everything that boy has put us through?!"

"He's still my son and I still love him, even though you don't."

"You bastard. That boy has ruined us and you send him money? You always were an idiot."

"And you always were a cruel old shrew."

"I don't know how you can even still call him your son after what he did."

"What did he do, Judy? What did he do that was so awful that you had to disown him? Your own son."

"He committed a sin."

"He fell in love!"

"He was supposed to be in love with his fiancée!"

"But he wasn't! Why should he of been? The only reason he was going to marry her was to please you!"

"You made him think it was ok to leave with ..."

"It was ok! He is ok! My son is fine just the way he is and I will _always_ love him."

"He's disgusting."

"Why is he disgusting?"

"He committed a sin!"

"And what sin was that?"

"You know which one."

"He. Fell. In. Love."

"That isn't love. That's a one way ticket to hell."

"That is love. It's love that you and I could've never had."

"You talk about it like it's not a problem, Marcus."

"I talk about like it's not a problem because it isn't! Just because he didn't want to marry that dim little perfect church girl that you picked out for him, doesn't mean he is suddenly the spawn of Satan."

"You don't know what it's like! You get to be at your safe little asylum in the middle of nowhere and I have to deal with all the gossip and rumours about him here. Most of my friends don't speak to me anymore and the ones that do only feel sorry for me!"

"Well then you should feel sorry for _them_! You should be happy that your son found someone who loved him as much as he loved them!"

There was a long pause, and then very quietly but sternly

"Well maybe he could have at least had the decency to fall in love with a _woman._"

* * *

**TBC**


	18. Chapter 18

_**May 1961**_

_It was going to be a beautiful wedding._

_Judy had been waiting for this day her whole life and every thing had to be perfect. Her husband, Marcus had taken the week away from work and had come to see their only son marry the perfect girl. _

_Every thing was going to be lovely._

_Her son, Jason was getting married to his fiancée, Emily, and she was just as perfect as he was._

_She stood in the bridal chamber with Emily and her mother. She looked so beautiful. Her dress was beautiful, covered in lace and silk- definitely no expenses spared. Judy stood behind her. She was beaming. _

"_You look so beautiful, darling."_

"_You really think so?"_

"_Of course. I can't wait to see Jason's face when you walk down that aisle."_

_Emily blushed and turned around to hug her future mother in law. _

"_I never really understood why everyone made such a big deal out of weddings when I was little … but now I think I understand … I don't think I have ever been as happy as I am today."_

_Judy kissed her on the cheek then looked to her mother_

"_I'll give you two some time alone. I must go and check on the groom."_

_Marcus and Jason were across the grounds of the country club where the wedding was taking place. Jason hadn't said much all morning and he only showed a little bit of merriment when he saw his father walk through the door that morning._

_The clock read 10:05am. The wedding was at 11._

_Marcus knew that even though everything was perfect, it was all wrong. He had known ever since he had seen his son that morning. He could tell by the dead expression that was plastered across his 20 year old sons face._

_Jason was having trouble with his bow tie. He never could tie them properly._

"_Jace … come here." Said Marcus, witnessing his sons struggle._

_Jason stood up and walked over to his father._

"_Thank you." He said quietly as his dad fixed his tie._

"_There." Marcus said, finishing the tie and giving it a small adjustment. The expression on Jason's face fell with the addition of something else being added to his wedding suit._

_Marcus couldn't stand it any longer._

"_Where's Jack?" Marcus asked, curious as to where his son's best friend had gotten to._

_Jason looked to his dad, panic starting to leak into his large brown eyes._

"_I don't think he's coming." Jason admitted._

"_Oh. I'm sorry about that."_

_Jason shook his head, his eyebrows knitting together._

"_Dad … what am I doing?" He half whispered, his voice cracking on the last word._

_Marcus sighed, "You're doing what you think is the right thing to do."_

_Jason groaned in frustration and walked back until he fell into one of the armchairs._

"_I can't … I can't marry her, can I?"_

_Marcus shook his head. He honestly didn't know how to fix this._

"_So what do I do? I can't just leave!"_

_Marcus looked at his son, his poor broken son, and then rushed to the window that over looked the green that the wedding was going to be taking place on. People were already beginning to arrive. He then ran to the door and threw it open, looking out into the deserted hallway._

_He turned back to Jason, who now had his head buried in his hands._

"_Jason. Get your stuff."_

"_What?"_

"_Get your bag."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because we're leaving."_

"_But-,"_

"_No, we're leaving. Right now. Come on before it's too late."_

_Jason scrambled out of his seat and stumbled over to grab his overnight bag. Marcus grabbed his sons arm, threw open the door and took off down the corridor towards the stairs. They descended to the ground level and were about to head to the main entrance when they saw the swarms of people congregating there._

"_Oh no …" Jason whimpered_

"_We'll find another way out." Marcus replied, pulling his son down the opposite side of the corridor which lead to the gardens. There was an exit right at the end. Marcus sped up his pace._

"_Dad … where are we going? Some body is going to see us if we leave that way." _

_They reached the door and left the main building out of it. There were no people in the little glade they had stepped out onto and it was just around the corner from the main driveway leading into the grounds. Marcus had to get his car from one of the valet drivers without raising any suspicion. He turned to Jason._

"_Ok I need you to stay here while I go and get my car. I'll tell them that I need to go and get something from the store and then I will pull up a little way down the driveway and you need to run for your god damn life to get in the car."_

_Jason nodded quickly and Marcus smiled at him._

"_It's going to be ok. Just make sure nobody sees you."_

_And with that, Marcus rounded the corner and strolled up to the outside concierge desk calmly. The man behind the counter looked up at him._

"_Hello, sir, how can I help you this morning?"_

"_Good morning, yes. I'm going to need my car."_

"_But sir, your sons wedding is in 35 minutes."_

"_Yeah I know, I just need to go and pick something up in town. I won't be more than 15 minutes."_

_The concierge nodded. "Very well, sir. I'll get on of my men to go and fetch it for you. What make is it?"_

"_It's the Lincoln Continental. Blue. And could you get them to hurry up? I'm in a bit of a rush."_

_The concierge nodded and walked off towards one of the drivers._

_Marcus looked around nervously. There were no more people arriving for the wedding but he still had the nauseating feeling that someone could walk outside and catch him any second and-_

"_Marcus!" _

_It was Judy._

_He turned around to look at his wife, who was standing in the main arched doorway, hands on hips, glaring at her husband._

"_What on earth do you think you are doing?"_

"_Oh fuck." Marcus said under his breath, the blood draining from his face. Everything was about to go to shit._

_Judy walked down towards him._

"_The wedding is in 30 minutes. Where are you going?"_

_Marcus thought for a second. The woman could tell a liar a mile away. He really had nothing to neither gain nor lose by lying to her. _

"_I just have to go into town to get something. I'll only be 10 minutes."_

_Her eyes narrowed "What do you need to get?"_

_Marcus hadn't thought that far. What do people need for weddings?_

"_Rice!" He blurted out. Rice? _

"_Marcus, we agreed that we weren't going to be using rice. It looks tacky."_

"_Actually it's for good luck so-,"_

"_Where are you going?"_

"_I'm going to the … store."_

"_Darling, where is our son?"_

"_He's inside." Marcus said, keeping his voice as low as possible. He always spoke in a slightly higher tone when he lied. He tried his best not to._

"_No he's not. I was just in his room and it was empty and his bag was gone." She raised her eyebrows at him victoriously. She knew._

"_Judy, don't do this."_

"_Don't do what?"_

"_You know what."_

"_Jason is not going anywhere. Go and get him and bring him to the fucking altar. Ok? Thank you honey." She gave him a sickly smile and turned on her heel back into the building._

"_Sir?" A voice from behind him called._

_He turned around to see one of the drivers standing next to his car with the keys in his hand. _

_He was torn. In one aspect he could ruin his marriage but save his son, or he could save his reputation but force his son into something he didn't want to do. He really did love his wife but with time she had realised what he son really was and she grew bitter because of it and lived only in denial. _

_But no matter how much love he held for Judy, he would always love his son more. He had to do this. _

"_Thank you." Marcus replied, walking towards the valet and taking the keys from him. He slid into the driver's seat and closed the door behind him. He gave the valet a quick smile and started the ignition. He pressed down on the accelerator and took off round the driveway, slowing only when getting to the part where Jason was waiting. He braked suddenly and Jason came running out from behind a wall. He threw his bag into the car and jumped into the passenger seat_

"_Drive!" He called, looking behind him at the deserted driveway._

_Marcus sped off down the road that led to the highway._

"_Where are we going?" Jason asked when they were a mile or so away from the country club._

_Marcus looked at his son, whose hair was outrageously wind swept from sitting with an open window the whole way._

"_We're going to the house so you can get more clothes and then we need to make one more stop. After that I'll take you wherever you need to go."_

_Jason nodded "Thank you, dad … and I'm so sorry about doing this. I probably ruined everything didn't I?"_

"_The way I see it is that you would have ruined your life if you married her so I guess it's just easier to get away while you still can."_

_Jason sighed "Yeah, I suppose."_

_They arrived at the family house in little under 20 minutes. Jason grabbed his bag and threw open the door._

"_You've got 5 minutes to grab whatever you need."_

_Jason nodded and bolted for the door, unlocking it clumsily and stumbling in. Marcus checked the mirror to make sure nobody had followed them … he didn't really know why anyone would of, but he felt it necessary to check anyway._

_Five minutes later, Jason ran out of the house and threw his slightly larger bag into the trunk. He then got in the car. He was dressed in a white short sleeved shirt and black cropped trousers. His hair was brushed back out of its usual disarray and he was wearing a pair of Marcus' sunglasses. Jason had never looked less like himself than he did at that very moment._

"_What are you wearing?" Marcus blurted out_

_Jason looked at his father as if the reason was obvious "It's a disguise …"_

"_Ok, fine but you're not taking my sunglasses. Those were damn expensive."_

"_Fine," Jason said taking them off and placing them on the dashboard "Can we go now?"_

"_Yes." He started the car and drove down the drive to the main road_

"_I guess you should take me to the train station …"_

"_I will. But I think you need one more thing before you leave."_

"_What?"_

"_You know what."_

"_Oh my god … you're going to make me go back and apologise to her aren't you?!"_

"_What? No!"_

"_So just take me to the train station!"_

"_Just one stop."_

"_Are you trying to ruin my life?"_

"_Jesus Christ, Jason! Will you shut up and calm down please? One more stop and then you can go wherever you want. I promise."_

_Jason exhaled loudly, "Can I at least know where you're taking me?"_

"_Well maybe if you searched in that brain of yours, you would work it out."_

_Jason frowned for a moment, not knowing what his father was talking about. _

_Then realisation hit him when he saw what street they had turned into._

"_No … no, no, no!" Jason wailed "Dad, he said that he never wanted to see me again!"_

"_Yes but that was when you were getting married. I don't think that's happening anymore."_

"_Please don't do this! I can just go away on my own!"_

_They pulled up at the house._

_Marcus turned off the ignition and looked at him son._

"_Do you love him?"_

"_Mom said that a boy can't love another boy that way."_

"_I didn't ask you what your mom said. I'm asking you what you know."_

_Jason looked at the front door of the house._

"_What if he refuses to come with me?"_

"_He won't." Marcus replied simply._

"_How do you know?"_

"_Because that boy has been in love with you for 10 years. He would never abandon you."_

"_Dad … I …"_

"_Jason just go and get him." Marcus said sternly, growing impatient._

_Jason hesitated for a moment, but finally got out of the car. He walked slowly to the front door and knocked three times. He heard footsteps approaching, and then bolts being unlocked._

_The door swung open, and there stood Jack, in his pyjamas. His green eyes were bloodshot. He had been crying._

"_I thought you were getting married." He said angrily._

"_Can I come in?"_

"_No. Where's your lovely little wife?"_

"_I wouldn't know. I don't have a wife."_

"_Is this some kind of joke?"_

"_Can I please just come in?" Jason all but begged._

_Jack grimaced, but stepped aside so Jason could walk into the large hallway. Jacks family had money, and lots of it. Jason had often imagined the large sum of money Jacks parents would have given him as a gift for his wedding whenever he had the urge to abandon his fiancée in the past. _

_Jack closed the door behind him and turned to look at Jason. _

"_What do you want? And why are you here?"_

_Jason couldn't stand it anymore. He rushed toward Jack and took his head in his hands, and kissed him with such desperation that Jack almost stumbled back. _

_Jack pushed him away as hard as he could_

"_NO! YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT!" He screamed, fresh tears threatening to overflow._

"_Jack. I know that I broke your heart and I know I ruined everything when I proposed to her … but I was scared about how much I loved you and I knew that I wasn't supposed to love you in that way … but I did and I'm sorry, ok? I'm sorry!"_

_Jason tried to reach out and take his hand, but Jack backed away._

"_So what are you going to do now? Run away? Abandon Emily? How did you even get away without anyone catching you?"_

"_My dad drove me. And I'm not running away. I'm just leaving before it's too late."_

_Jack laughed "Oh well, that's alright then."_

"_Jack." Jason said sternly _

"_Yes?"_

"_I love you."_

"_I know."_

"_I really love you … and I don't think I can go without you."_

"_Well then I guess you're not going then."_

"_Jack …"_

"_No. I watched you plan your wedding for 6 months and all that time I begged you not to go through with it, and now, on your wedding day you suddenly want me to run away with you?"_

"_Yes I do, actually."_

"_You're unbelievable."_

"_No I'm not. I'm just an idiot who fell in love with the wrong person apparently."_

_Jack sighed and let his gaze fall to the floor._

"_Where would we go? There isn't anywhere I can think of that lets men openly make out in public."_

"_I don't know … we'll go to San Francisco or New York. I don't care as long as I'm with you."_

"_People will find out about us."_

"_I don't care." Jason said, stepping towards Jack slowly._

_Jack was silent for a long moment._

"_How much time do we have?"_

_Jason smiled._

* * *

Marcus never could bring himself to regret what he did. Even though Emily was heartbroken and his marriage was ruined, he still couldn't, because every time he got a call from his son or Jack, the happiness he heard in their voices would always remind him why he did it. They decided to move to San Francisco after living in New York for a few months, and from what they had told Marcus, they were perfectly happy there, albeit strapped for cash, but nothing that Marcus couldn't help them with.

He still had no idea how his wife could hate their son just because he fell in love with someone of the same gender. He had no idea how _anyone_ could hate anyone for falling in love.

And yet, it was still a taboo, which was the reason that Marcus had not told any of his colleagues at Atlas.

Homosexuality was considered a mental illness, and given that Marcus_ worked_ at a mental institute and had a degree in psychology, the whole issue would be blown out of proportion and Marcus did not want to make an issue out of something that _wasn't_ in his eyes, an issue.

* * *

_1 week later_

Nick had not left the building in seven days.

He had not spoken to anyone, he had not looked at anyone, and he had not eaten unless almost forced.

He was regressing.

Susanna had sat with him, trying to get him to talk or eat, but all he ever did was sleep.

Morgan was informed, and even tried going to his block to talk to him, but he got no response. Nobody did. Susanna caught him afterwards as he was leaving. She was desperate.

"You know why this is, don't you?" Susanna whispered at the door.

"Jeff is just as unresponsive as Nick is. He's growing out of control again." Morgan replied.

* * *

Jeff had not attended any of his rehabilitation sessions all week. When a nurse had asked him why he had not been to his meeting with Morgan, Jeff decided it would be appropriate to punch her in the face.

Needless to say he was restrained and locked into his room without hesitation.

His temper was growing out of control even more as the days passed. On Wednesday night, another patient had looked at him for a few seconds too long as he entered the mess hall.

Jeff didn't react too kindly to that.

The boys table ended up upside down with two of its legs missing, and he was restrained, again.

Morgan was seriously beginning to regret his decision of letting Red and Monty go and putting Jeff in medium security.

* * *

On Friday, everyone had had enough. Jeff was taken to Morgan's office only after being told that if he didn't then he would be put back in high security.

He entered the room with two armed guards, who stayed the entire time.

"_Jeff, I have called you here on a warning. I'm going to give you one chance, and if you do not choose to take it then you will be put back in high security. Jared and Monty are just a phone call away if I need to bring them back."_

_Jeff laughed hollowly at him "Do you really think I give a fuck?"_

_Morgan took a deep breath. This boy was going to kill him._

"_Yes. But obviously your ego is far too largely inflamed for you to admit that you do, so here are my terms. If you want to keep your moderate freedom then once we are done here, you will be escorted to go to see Marcus and then you will go back to your room without assaulting any guards on the way, understood?"_

_Jeff rolled his eyes then nodded._

"_Or, you can continue your behaviour and be put back in the maximum security block. You will be under 24 hour watch and you will have near to no freedom. But I expect that you wouldn't really care either way, so in addition to that … I will personally make sure that you NEVER see Nick Duval ever again."_

_The smirk on Jeff's face shifted into a glare. Morgan could hear the sound of Jeff's teeth grinding together. His knuckles turned white as he gripped the arms of his chair in a death grip._

Jeff ended up at Marcus' office 15 minutes later.

Marcus had been waiting for him. There was no way Jeff would ever agree to the latter terms even if he had temporarily abandoned Nick.

The guards agreed to wait outside during the session.

Jeff walked in, fuming. Marcus swore his eyes looked even darker than they usually were, and he was a little freaked out to be perfectly honest.

"Hi, Jeff …"

"I was told I had to come here or be locked up, so here I am."

"I'm aware. Take a seat." He said, gesturing to a chair near his.

Jeff looked at the seat in disgust

"Or you could sit on the floor if you would prefer?" Marcus continued

Jeff hesitated for a moment, and then sat down on one of the chairs.

"So I hear you've been having an eventful week." Said Marcus as he picked up a clip board that was sat beside him.

"I was just having a little _fun_."

"Right." Marcus replied, picking up a pen and filling in the form in front of him.

"So are you going to make me throw some shit around or are you just going to sit there writing about how much of an asshole I am?"

Marcus looked up at him, and then turned the clip board to face him.

"It's actually a participation form for another patient that was here today. I do have other patients, you know."

"Well then what the fuck am I doing here if I'm not going to do anything?"

Marcus set the clipboard down.

"Was there something that you wanted to do?"

"… No."

"So why are you complaining?"

"Because this is bullshit!"

Marcus nodded.

He might as well push some buttons while he could.

"So where's Nick today?"

"How the fuck should I know? He's probably off somewhere trying to hang himself."

Marcus could see the instant regret in Jeff's eyes.

"I'm going to pretend that you didn't just say that."

"Why? ... It's true. Maybe he'll actually do it right this time."

Marcus felt like laughing. He could actually hear the struggle in Jeff's voice. It actually sounded like he was forcing the words out of his mouth.

"Jeff … what are you doing? Do you really think people are going to believe you when you say things like that about him? Everyone has seen you two together."

Jeff laughed humourlessly.

_Really _humourlessly.

"You people are such morons. The only reason I hung around him was so I could get some leverage out of this place, but my plan failed, so I have no use for him anymore."

Jeff really did think Marcus was stupid.

"And I believe that," Said Marcus and he relaxed back into his chair "That was probably your plan _at first_, definitely."

"No, it was alw-,"

"Jeff, honestly, you're really not fooling anyone, and when you sit there talking about him like he doesn't matter … you're actually only hurting yourself by doing so because I know you don't mean it.

Listen, I honestly do believe that you probably heard people talking about Nick before you knew him and you latched onto it thinking that he could be your little escape ploy, but after a while you probably forgot about that, and you know why? Because you-,"

"Don't," Jeff warned "Don't you dare fucking say anything because you know _nothing_."

"These are just observations. I'm not suggesting anything."

"They aren't observations; they are your assumptions, actually. So fuck you."

Marcus straightened up.

"You need to stop pushing him away."

"I'M NOT!" Jeff yelled suddenly. His breathing was beginning to quicken

"He's falling apart." Marcus replied sternly

"Everyone at this place is falling apart."

Marcus knew that this was hopeless. He wasn't going to be able to get Jeff to calm down like this.

He had an idea.

Marcus stood up and walked over to the door to where the guards were.

"Oh ok, bye then!" Jeff called behind him.

Marcus got the attention of the nearest guard.

"Is there any chance you can get Jeff here at the same time tomorrow?"

The guard inhaled through his teeth, making a hissing noise.

"Maybe. Might need to drag him, but if you get Morgan to threaten him he probably will."

"Excellent." Marcus replied, giving the guard a smile. He walked back to where Jeff was sat.

"You can go now."

"Oh my fucking Jesus Christ … really? What the fuck was even the point of me being here …"

Marcus picked up his clip board and followed Jeff out off the room.

"See you tomorrow, Jeff!" He called as he walked down the opposite end of the hallway outside

"WHAT?!" Jeff yelled furiously behind him as he rounded the corner. Marcus couldn't help but laugh.

Now all he had to do was visit Susanna and convince her to drag Nick out of bed long enough to get him and Jeff in the same room for 5 minutes.

* * *

**TBC**


	19. Chapter 19

Susanna approached his bed cautiously. His head was peaking out from behind the covers and his eyes were closed. He was awake though, she could tell. Nick always looked tense when he was awake; sleep usually brought a sense of calm over him.

She pulled a chair that was sitting by the wall over to his bedside and sat down in it. She brushed the covers back off him slightly. She could feel him becoming tenser under her soft grip.

"Honey …" She whispered, pressing the back of her hand against his flushed cheek

He shuffled onto his side and pressed the side of his face into his pillow. He opened his eyes.

"Good morning." She said softly, running her hand through his hair gently.

"How long have I been here?" Nick replied weakly.

"About a week."

"Oh."

She nodded slowly "How are you feeling?"

"Lost." He admitted quietly. Susanna could almost feel her heartbreaking for him through her immaculate white uniform.

"Hey, I have an idea. How about we go for a walk? Some fresh air might make you feel better."

Nick smiled a little. "Ok, but can I take a shower first?"

Susanna smiled, and nodded.

* * *

Nick cleaned himself up and changed into some of his normal day clothes. It was a welcome change out of the dreary clothes he had been wrapped up in for the past few days.

"Ready?" Susanna asked as she held out an arm for him to take.

He nodded, slipping his arm through hers.

They stepped out into a sunny February day. It was a little chilly, but nothing too bad. They set off down the path that led around the outside of the courtyard. They walked in silence for a minute or two before Susanna thought appropriate to start

"So what happened this time?" She asked

"What do you mean?"

"Nick, you wouldn't get out of bed all week … I thought you were doing ok?"

"Momentary relapse." He replied nonchalantly

"Well something must have caused it."

He said nothing, simply shaking his head. She knew he was hiding something.

Nick slowed down a little and opened his mouth as if to ask something, but closed it quickly, correcting himself.

"Nick?"

"No, never mind."

"Come on, out with it."

"It's nothing."

She stopped them and looked into his eyes.

Of course.

"You want to know about Jeff."

"No I-,"

"Yes you do. He's still here if that's what you were worried about."

_That boy is never going to leave_, she thought

"So where is he?"

They rounded the corner and walked up a small flight of steps up to the courtyard where Susanna dragged him to the nearest bench. They settled down and she turned to Nick.

"He's … he's kind of been locked up."

Nicks eyebrows spiked up and a look of disappointment grew across his face.

"Why?" He asked bluntly

"Assault on a nurse …and a patient come to think of it."

"Are you … _really_?"

"Is it a surprise?"

"… No I guess not."

"Actually …" Susanna stopped herself. She didn't know whether there was even a point asking.

"What?"

"Ok, He totally understands if you don't want to, but Marcus asked if you could go to his office at 10."

Nick smiled "Is that why you dragged me out of bed this early?"

"… I just thought that you would be happier here if Jeff stuck around, that's all."

"What do you mean?"

"I think you know what I mean."

Nick nodded.

"I don't think he really wants to see me though." Nick admitted sadly

Susanna snorted "I know for a fact that that is not true." She said, tugging Nick up from the bench so that they could start the short walk to the rehabilitation centre.

Perhaps if she thought fit, she would have said what she truly knew; _I know for a fact that that is not true … that boy loves you more than sense._

* * *

It had been 20 minutes and Jeff had not turned up. Nick had resulted to lying half asleep across 3 or 4 chairs and Marcus sat in the corner marking up his usual pile of paperwork.

Nick could hear the clock faintly ticking in the background.

Just when Marcus was about to give up hope, a commotion was heard in the corridor outside. There was a male voice that didn't belong to Jeff shouting, and the gritty clunk of something scraping across the wooden floor.

"GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF ME." Jeff yelled as he was shoved into the room backwards. Nick sat bolt right up, his whole body frozen. Marcus set down his clipboard as the guards slammed the door behind Jeff, closing him in. Jeff began pounding his fists on the door

"I'M ONLY HERE BECAUSE YOU ASSHOLES WANT TO GET RID OF ME WHILE YOU GO AND JERK EACH OTHER OFF!"

He yelled out in frustration and leaned his forehead against the door. He still had no idea who was sitting behind him.

"Marcus, I swear to god if you don't let me go I will rip that ugly grin off your face …" He said, finally turning around, expecting to only see Marcus.

Nick just raised his eyebrows at him as Jeff froze on the spot. He would have easily taken solitary confinement over this. He couldn't be near him without … he just couldn't be near him.

"Good morning, Jeff!" Marcus greeted in a cheery voice. Jeff's gaze quickly fell to the floor to avoid looking at the boy in front of him.

"You're an asshole." Jeff muttered at Marcus. Marcus simply laughed.

"Jeff … what _are_ you doing?" Nick finally asked.

"Nothing." He replied quietly

Nick slowly rose from where he sat and approached Jeff slowly. Jeff stayed perfectly still. Nick stopped in front of him a meter or so away.

Jeff still wouldn't look up.

"Jeff." Nick repeated

Jeff finally looked up and his facial expression softened

"Nick."

Nick held out his hand slowly and Jeff took it without thinking, without taking his eyes of Nicks face. Nick led him over to a chair and he sat down slowly, dropping his hand out of Nick's.

Nick sat down beside him.

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Neither knowing quite what was meant to be said.

Eventually Marcus spoke up;

"Boys, if you don't mind I have to go and make a phone call in my other room, I won't be more than 10 minutes." He left without waiting for a reply. Outside the room, two guards were waiting in case Jeff lost it again.

"I think you two can be dismissed now."

"Sorry Sir, we're under strict instruction to stay within 50 feet of Sterling at all times."

Marcus rolled his eyes "Ok then, can you just go and wait outside the building then? He's not going to do anything he wouldn't do if you stayed."

The guards looked at each other, shrugged, then left.

Marcus peeked back through the window to see Jeff and Nick in the same positions. He moved himself from sight and settled himself on the floor next to the door. He made sure he could still faintly make out what they were saying.

He didn't really have to make a phone call. He just knew that if he was absent, the chances were that both of them would calm the hell down if they were alone.

"Where did you go?" Nick asked quietly.

"Where did _you_ go?"

"You left. I woke up on the bench and you were gone."

"Yeah, I went to taking a fucking shower."

"In the middle of the day?"

Jeff nodded "You didn't answer my question."

"I didn't feel well."

"You mean you had one of your infamous mental breakdowns again?"

"At least I didn't assault anyone." Nick replied bluntly

"Who did I … oh wait yeah … That bitch was annoying me."

"You hit a girl?"

"Nick, I've killed a girl before. Let's not get into _that_ right now."

Nick was silent for a few moments;

"Jeff, you need to stop. They're going to send you to another hospital if you keep insisting on hurting people."

"I'll stop 'hurting'," He said with air quotations "people when people stop getting in my way."

"Jeff … just stop."

"I'm not doing anything!" Jeff glared at Nick, his eyes wide.

Nick froze for a moment, then burst out laughing, slapping his hand over his mouth to try and muffle the sound that was erupting from him.

"That's not … Nick it's not …" Jeff couldn't even be bothered to argue. He couldn't stop an unavoidable grin breaking out across his face "… funny."

Nick managed to stop the hiccups of laughter and composed himself.

"Sorry, but when you do your _black eyes death stare _it's just … oh my … I'm sorry you just look so funny."

Jeff's eyebrows screwed up together "What the hell is a black eyes death stare?"

"It's the expression that you give everyone when you want to kill them."

"I don't want to kill you though …"

"I know … that's probably why I find it so funny."

Jeff sighed quietly "I don't want to be locked away."

"I don't want you to be locked away."

"Don't fuck off again."

"I won't if you won't."

"Deal." Jeff smiled at Nick.

Nick shuffled closer to Jeff and leaned his head against the blonde boys shoulder. They didn't say much after that.

* * *

A few minutes had gone by and Marcus was still sitting outside. He didn't have the heart to go back in a break them up.

After all, there weren't many places at a mental institute where two people could just be carelessly friends.

Or carelessly in love.

**TBC**


	20. Chapter 20

March 1963

"You're not going to be able to protect him forever." Abe muttered quietly as he sat in Morgan's office on the first Tuesday of the month.

"I'm not trying to protect the boy. I'm trying to help him."

"Yes, yes, by keeping him away from me."

"Do you really blame me?"

Abe looked up at the ceiling and then back to Morgan, shaking his head, "No."

"It's not like we've never had a patient like Jeff before. Remember that boy who managed to stab one of the guards in the middle of the mess hall with a plastic knife? He lives in Chicago now."

"Morgan, the only reason he lives in Chicago is because you let him go."

"And there have been no stabbing incidents since."

Abe nodded, his lips pressed into a firm line.

"I hope you know that I'm going to be continuing my observations no matter what you think."

"I know. But _I_ hope you know that if you lay one finger on him or Nick, I will have no hesitation in kicking you out of this place faster then you can scramble together all those horrible tools you keep in that surgery of yours." Morgan replied calmly, smiling at the man sitting opposite.

Abe smiled back at him.

"Of course, _Sir_."

* * *

"You look like shit." Jeff announced as he threw himself down across the table from Nick in the mess hall the next morning.

Nick looked up and frowned at him

"Thank you."

Jeff tilted his head to the side "No, seriously, why do you look so awful?"

Nick rubbed his eyes with his fists and scrunched up his face

"One of the guys in my building decided to have a little screaming contest with himself last night. I didn't get an awful lot of sleep."

"See this is why you should punch one of the guards. You'd get moved into my building with me and you would have your own room and everything."

Nick hummed softly

"Tempting." He muttered.

"So are you coming with me today?"

"Where?"

"Marcus's"

"I have another meeting with Morgan. He said he had to discuss something with me."

Jeff's stomach lurched uncomfortably

_What if Morgan wanted to let Nick go?_

_He couldn't do that._

_He wouldn't_

_Stop it, Jeff._

"Oh … ok."

"I'm sure you'll be fine on your own."

"Sure about that?"

Nick smiled weakly.

"Yes."

* * *

Nick arrived at Morgan's office an hour later. He honestly felt like he could fall asleep at any moment.

He slumped down in his usual maroon armchair across from the curator, and smiled, motioning for him to begin.

"Before we begin, I just want to clarify that what I'm about tell you will not be something that you will enjoy hearing, but it's actually vital to your rehabilitation so please just work with me on this."

Nick frowned "… Continue."

"Your mother is coming to visit."

Nick swore he felt his blood temperature drop a few degrees.

"No she's not."

"I understand that you would prefer her not to, but you have to understand that I have no legal obligation to keep her from seeing you."

"You also have no legal obligation to let her _see_ me!"

"She's your mother."

"I don't care."

"She loves you and all she wants to do is talk."

"I don't care."

"This is not up for discussion."

Nick pressed his palm against his forehead firmly, breathing heavily out of his nose

"So I receive no say in the matter?"

Morgan shook his head

"I'm sorry, but she is your mother, whether you like it or not."

"… Fine …Will that be all?"

"Yes."

Nick got up from his seat and began towards the door

"Oh, and Nicolas?"

Nick turned around.

"Thank you for keeping Jeff out of trouble."

Nick nodded and gave Morgan a small smile. He slipped out the door quietly and walked through the reception into the mild spring air.

* * *

Marcus was sat behind a small wooden desk in the corner of his main room. He had recently acquired this piece after telling Morgan that he preferred to do his paper work in the larger room and doing all of his work on clip boards certainly wasn't easy.

Jeff had arrived 20 minutes earlier. He was now lying on the floor in the centre of the room humming to himself rather loudly with his eyes closed.

Nick walked in a few minutes later.

"Morning, Nick." Marcus called from where he was sat.

Jeff opened his eyes and rolled his head to the side

"Glad you could join us." He said, smirking.

Nick smiled and dropped onto the wood floor next to Jeff. He spread his legs out and rested his head on his folded arms behind his head.

Marcus had stopped with Jeff's therapy a couple of sessions before. He gave no reason for it, but neither Jeff nor Nick complained. Marcus' office was the only place they could go where they weren't being stared at by guards or being forced to co habilitate with the other patients.

They had found a small safe haven within four pale walls.

"So what did the ancient asshole want this time?" Jeff asked quietly.

"Oh just to open up old wounds." Nick replied, tilting his head to the side to meet Jeff's eyes.

Jeff looked at him questioningly

"My mother is coming to visit."

"Ohh … see I don't ever really have that problem."

Nick rolled his eyes at the boy lying next to him.

"Unfortunately we all can't be as lucky as you in that sense." Nick replied bluntly

Jeff laughed quietly "No … why is she coming to visit anyway? Who the fuck would want to come here voluntarily?"

"She does, apparently."

Jeff nodded.

"Well, if she starts annoying you, just come and find me. I'm sure I can find some lighter fluid somewhere."

Nick laughed quietly

"I'll keep you posted."

* * *

It was a nice evening. Spring was always nice at Atlas. Morgan decided to take a walk and visit an old friend in his surgery.

Abe's surgery had always been an unsettling building in Morgan's eyes. I had an aura of despair that seemed to cling to the grey bricked exterior. Morgan usually tried to avoid this building as much as possible but tonight was a necessity.

Morgan entered the building hesitantly. None of the lights were on so he didn't know if Abe was even there. But as he thought about it more, he realised that Abe never bothered to turn on the lights anyway. He walked down the cold hallway to the end where Abe's office was located. Through a small window on the door he could see a dim light shining out from the room.

He knocked on the door three times.

"Come in." A faint voice spoke from behind the door.

Morgan entered to find Abe sitting there simply staring into space. Morgan took the seat opposite him.

"Busy night?" He asked jokingly.

"Maybe it would be if I had something to do."

"Oh come now, Abraham, there must be something for you to do."

Abe chuckled humourlessly

"Not really considering that you took away all my patients."

"I didn't take away your patients and you know that. They've just been redirected to the clinic."

"If you honestly think that I'm going to believe that then obviously that psychology degree of yours is not well deserved. You need to start trusting me, Morgan."

Morgan got up from his seat and walked over to where the overhead light switch was located. He flicked it and 4 pale lights blinked on above them. What had previously been hidden by shadows now shone mercilessly in the light. Along the back wall of the office stood large display units all containing different sized pieces of metal. Some were melted into scalpels, some into syringes, and some into long knitting needle like shapes.

They all had one thing in common though, regardless of shape.

They all looked sinister and cold.

Accompanying the metal display units stood large posters tacked to the walls illustrating intricate diagrams of the human brain with every small crevice and curve labelled in small loopy writing.

"And you wonder why I don't trust you as much as I used to." Morgan finally said, gesturing towards the wall behind them.

Abe looked behind him briefly.

"I'm just trying to do my job."

"So am I."

Abe exhaled deeply

"Morgan, if you really trust me as little as you say you do, what am I still doing here, hmm?"

"You're here because you are a brilliant surgeon and I need you here because we are 50 miles from the nearest hospital and if one of my patients ever became sick I would need you here."

"Is that why you sent me on that little vacation then?"

"You know why I did that."

"Enlighten me."

"I'm not playing this game of yours."

"I'm not playing a game, Morgan. If anything, you're the one playing the game."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh come on, you're life is just one big game of snakes and ladders; you see you are the master of this game, you have your counters which are your patients and you have to try and get them from the bottom to the top," Abe rose from where he was sitting and wandered over to the back wall where his prized possessions were. He kept his back to Morgan "See you try and get them to the top but no matter how hard you try you always end up falling down the ladder, and you lose. You always lose."

Morgan shook his head, his tongue firmly pressed to the inside of his bottom jaw.

Abe turned back around and walked towards his desk, sitting down slowly.

"But then again, that's just my opinion." Abe continued smugly.

Morgan sat back down in his seat.

"And I am going to respect that, but if you're finished there is something else I'd like you're opinion on."

Abe rocked his head to the side as his face broke out into a wide grin

"Ah, you want my opinion on something? That usually means that you're trying to do something sneaky."

"Perhaps. Only in favour of a positive outcome though."

"… Continue."

"I've invited Nicolas Duval's mother to come to visit, and I've told him and of course he wasn't keen on the idea … but I may have left out a detail that I fear he may reject altogether."

"And that is? …"

"I think he might be ready to leave Atlas for a little while."

"What?"

"He's shown a vast improvement over the past few months and I think it might be good for him to go home for a week or two over Easter."

"Are you sure that's wise?"

"I can't keep him here forever if he's not a threat to anyone else. He has to leave sometime."

"So you want to let him go?"

"No … I just want to see how he would be if he left the institute for a little while. When his mother comes she'll be taking him with her when she leaves. I don't want to make a big deal out of this. It's just a test run."

"Well it is your hospital and you make the rules, but have you not thought of what might happen if Nick leaves?"

"He'll be under constant supervision by his mother and all the necessary pre-,"

"I don't mean what will happen to _Nick._"

Morgan knew he would have to cross this bridge at some point.

"… They can't be together forever. I know that their friendship has helped the both of them but in time they have to realise that they are here for completely different reasons …. Reasons which mean that Nick will probably be able to lead a normal life in a year or so, and Jeff may never be able to. I've given it some thought and I'm starting to think that it might be wise to begin to wean them off being dependant of each other."

"He's going to fucking kill you when he finds out you made Nick leave."

"I'm only trying to help them."

"Yes but neither of them are going to see it that way … make sure to get his reaction on camera for me though. It's going to be priceless."

"Well he might have to figure it out first."

"You're not going to tell him?"

"I don't know."

"Well you might want to figure that out first. I don't know if you've noticed but Jeff has a past of being slightly violent sometimes, a trait that you will not allow me to rectify."

"Abe …"

"I know, I know. Old habits die hard."

* * *

**TBC**


	21. Chapter 21

March 31st 1963

"When's your mom arriving, Nick?" Marcus asked casually as they were sitting in his room that morning.

"He didn't tell me. Sometime around midday I suppose."

Jeff snorted "Good luck with that."

Nick turned to face the Blonde boy sitting next to him

"Don't." He simply replied

"Sorry, Nicky."

Marcus smiled to himself; the two of them really did remind him of his son and Jack sometimes.

Nick shook his head "The sooner it's over, the better."

"What's your problem with her anyway? She's your mom."

"That's rich coming from the person who kill-,"

"Yeah I know I killed my mom, but I had purpose. The bitch was an ignorance piece of shit who had it coming. What's your excuse?"

And this had been what Nick had feared all along … his whole life really. The thing is that Nick and his mother had always done this sort of awkward dance of lies around each other and neither of them had ever really talked about what had happened all those years ago. His mother was so far in a pit of denial that Nick could barely stand to even speak to her.

"Uncomfortable past. That's all."

At that moment, Susanna walked into the room wearing an almost nervous smile on her face.

"Nick, your mom just arrived. We need to go to Morgan's office."

Nick inhaled deeply and nodded

"I'll be waiting outside so that you can …" She cut herself off, remembering that neither Jeff nor Nick nor Marcus knew about Nick's temporary departure, "I'll be outside."

Nick stood up and flattened down his shirt. Jeff stood as well

Nick turned to Jeff

"Wish me luck." He said quietly, and just before he was about to walk out, Jeff grabbed his hand, stopping him. Jeff shuffled closer, and pressed a gentle kiss on Nick's slightly flushed cheek.

It was the oddest feeling, to be kissed in such a way. Nick felt his body relax a little and before he knew it, Jeff's hand had left his and was giving him a gentle push towards the door. Nick proceeded, and looked back only once to see Jeff sitting in his previous spot smiling at him. Nick walked out of the room.

* * *

The walk to Morgan's office was going too fast. Heart banging, sweat inducing fast. He knew that he would have to talk to her. He knew that it was all going to come spilling out like lava from a volcano, burning everything in its path until everything was left in charred ruins. Nick stopped mid stride to catch his quickening breath.

"Honey?" Susanna cooed, placing her hand on Nick's cheek.

"Sorry," He replied quickly, inhaling deeply, "I'm fine. I just need to get this done."

Nick grabbed onto her arm tightly, calming himself a little.

Never before had he wished for his blonde haired best friend to be standing next to him instead.

They carried on to Morgan's office.

* * *

When he walked in, his gaze focused on the wooden coat rack that looked like it had been nailed back together. His mother's jacket was hanging on it. His heart was pounding uncontrollably against his rib cage.

"You'll be fine, Honey." Susanna said from behind.

He turned to her and smiled.

He walked forward and opened the door. A shrill and excited voice yelled out.

"Nick, my darling!" His mother came running up to him and flung her arms around his neck tightly. Nick placed his hands on her back softly, almost not at all.

She released her grip and took his face in both of her hands. Her brown hair was pulled into a neat array on the crown of her head and she had a matching set of pearl earrings and necklace on to accompany the blue high waist slacks and white shirt she had on.

"I forgot how handsome you were, Oh my!" She said, dropping her hands and dragging him to where the chairs where.

So far so good, Nick thought.

They both sat and Morgan beamed at them.

"So when do I get to take him home?" Nick's mother asked loudly, Nick's hand still clasped firmly in hers.

His heart dropped.

Morgan's gaze shifted to Nick, who was now sitting there looking positively grey.

"Umm … when we are finished here. We just need to fill out some temporary release paperwork first."

"Lovely!" She exclaimed

Nick pulled his hand from her grip and got up from his seat like a bullet leaving a shotgun

"What?!" He cried "What is happening."

Both Morgan and Nick's mother looked up at him

"I'm sorry we couldn't tell you sooner, Nick, but it's only for a week."

"I have to leave?!"

"Only for a week, my love." His mother repeated

Nick's mouth fell open and he felt himself backing away

"Is that allowed?!"

"Yes," Morgan replied calmly "You would have been let out earlier if your rehabilitation had been successful early on but …"

"Why wasn't I informed about this?!"

"I'm sorry Nick; we feared that you would have refused to show up if you knew."

"And what if I refuse to go now?"

"Nick, honey, I know you probably don't want to come with me but I promise we'll have fun. Then you can come back here. I promise." His mother said with a sickly sweet smile.

And then it struck him.

"I don't have a choice do I? …"

Morgan shook his head and his mother simply kept smiling.

"What about Jeff?" He asked without thinking. His mothers smile fell

"Who's Jeff?"

"It's going to be taken care of." Morgan replied calmly

"No. Let me go and tell him."

"Nicolas, please calm down. Like I said, it will be taken care of."

"What does that even mean?!"

Morgan ignored him and instead pulled out a few sheets of paper and a fountain pen.

"Mrs Duval, could you please sign here," He said, pointing to an empty line at the bottom of the page, "And here." He continued, pointing to another.

She complied

"Actually, it's Ms Duval." She corrected.

Nick felt a stab of coldness slice right through him.

He had to leave.

He had to go with her.

He had to leave Jeff.

Jeff was going to kill everyone when he found out, and they were idiots if they thought they could hide it from him.

"Nick," Morgan called, looking up from the paper "I'm going to need you to sign as well."

"No." He said automatically.

"Nicolas this is not up for discussion."

Nick could feel the heat clawing up his dry throat. He ran a hand through his hair.

"I really don't have a choice, do I?"

"We're not doing this to be malicious, Nick."

Nick breathed in deeply.

"Fine." He finally gave in.

* * *

It turned out that as soon as Nick had entered Morgan's office, Susanna had been told to go back and pack a bag for Nick to take. They really didn't want to give Nick any opportunity to go and find Jeff.

They walked to the gates in silence with two guards. Nick barely remembered how to even get out of Atlas considering how long he had been there and how out of it he was when he got there. They walked around the perimeter of the main courtyard and through the entrance building, where he hesitantly signed out and was released through the front door. He looked out down the steps and onto the wide gravel path lined by thick trees ahead of him. He swallowed dryly and forced himself with every inch of his being to take the first step down the stone steps. It was a cloudy day at Atlas, which made the large black gates look even more sinister than he remembered.

They walked the gravel path in silence as well. They got to the gate after a few achingly slow minutes and the guards fell back towards the entrance. The guards on the outside nodded to them and pulled open the gate slowly.

Nick and his mother walked out and were greeted by a blue Ford Anglia.

"Whose car is this?" He asked quietly

"Mine!" His mom replied brightly

"You drive?"

"Of course! It's the new craze. Even women can do it, you know."

"Oh." He replied.

"Come on," She said, taking hold of his hand "We've got a bit of a long drive back to New England."

They got into the car and the cold black gates of Atlas Institute slammed shut behind them and all that was left was the melancholy feeling inside him and the open country road ahead of him.

* * *

Two hours. It had been two hours and Nick still wasn't back. Jeff had finally left Marcus' office after Marcus told him that he couldn't be there while he had another patient. Jeff gave him the middle finger and left. He had been in his room ever since. He assumed he would see Nick at dinner and decided to nap. Someone would wake him up when there was food.

He left for the mess hall at 5.

Nick wasn't there. Jeff sat at their usual table and waited. He sat there for an hour before spotting Nicks nurse, Susanna, walk in.

"Hey!" He called out, dumping his plate in the trash and walking up to her.

"Good Evening, Jeff." She said, not stopping to talk. She avoided his eyes and carried on collecting abandoned cutlery.

"Where is he?"

"Who?"

Jeff rolled his eyes and followed her to where she had walked off to

"Don't bullshit me. You know who."

She finally stopped and looked up at him

"Nick wasn't feeling too good. He's in bed."

Jeff made a disapproving noise

"Ok then, go and tell him to stop being a dick and get out of bed!" He replied, raising his voice considerably

"I'm not going to do that. And I suggest that you lower your voice and go back to your building."

"Yeah, I'm not going to do that." He said in mock tone, repeating her.

"Jeff go back to your building."

"Make me."

"Alright then." She said, setting down the cutlery and walked over to two daunting looking guards.

Jeff saw what she was doing and quickly interjected.

"Oh my god! I just want to make sure he hasn't fucking topped himself! Fucking Christ you people are so oppressive!" He yelled, walking past Susanna and the guards out into the warm March evening air.

"Fuckers!" He called back as he made his way down the path back to his building.

When he turned his gaze back he saw Marcus walking up the path towards him.

"Marcus! I need your help!"

Marcus walked up to him.

"Why are you shouting?"

"Right yeah … I need you to get me into Nick's building."

Marcus frowned at him.

"Ok, firstly, no. And secondly, why do you need to get into Nick's building?"

"Because that fucking cunt Susan or something won't go and tell him to stop being a dick."

"I don't understand. Wasn't Nick in the Mess hall?"

"No. Apparently he's sick."

"So why don't you go to your room and sleep? You'll probably see him tomorrow."

"Oh for fuck sakes! You can't just let me go in there? It's not like I'm going to hurt anyone."

"Jeff. Go and get some sleep."

"Holy shit you people are such fascists!" Jeff yelled, walking away from an extremely confused looking Marcus "You should have joined the German military 20 years ago, HITLER WOULD HAVE LOVED YOU GUYS!"

Marcus stood there for a moment contemplating whether or not to go to the mess hall as previously planned. He looked to Morgan's building, where he could see his office light was on.

He decided to take a detour.

* * *

Marcus knocked on Morgan's door softly

"Come in." Morgan called from inside.

He pushed open the door and walked in, closing it shut behind him.

"Evening, Morgan."

"Good evening, Marcus."

Marcus took a seat in front of his desk.

"How are we tonight?"

"Fine, fine."

"Wonderful. What can I help you with?"

"Jeff."

"Mr Sterling?"

"Yeah. I think he's a little frustrated."

Marcus swore that he saw a flash of panic in Morgan's eyes.

"Jeffrey is always frustrated about something or other." Morgan laughed quietly

"He just wanted to know why Nick was in bed I think."

"In bed? … Oh … I suppose that's what Susanna told you."

"No, that's what Jeff told me, just now, actually."

Morgan took a deep breath.

"Ahh, so she already got to him."

"Wait, Morgan, what do you mean that's what she told me? Was she lying?"

Morgan paused for a moment.

"Do you want a scotch?"

Marcus frowned.

"Sure …" He replied a little uneasily

"Excellent." Morgan got up from his seat and made his way to a small cupboard to his right where he kept a few bottles of expensive booze.

"Morgan what's going on? Is Nick ok?"

Morgan pulled out a bottle and poured two glasses. He set them down on the table. Morgan picked up his glass and took a sip.

"Nick's fine. He's just not here."

Marcus froze his drink in mid swig.

"What do you mean?"

"He left for New England with his mother about 6 hours ago."

Marcus set down his drink with a loud bang

"Excuse me?!"

"He'll only be gone for a week."

"Does Jeff know?"

Morgan shook his head, "No, and we'd like to keep it that way."

"So you're lying to him?"

"No, we're just trying to help both Nick and Jeff at the same time."

"So you're lying to him."

Morgan sat back down and picked up his glass again, taking a small sip.

"No. I'm trying to avoid an incident."

"Morgan … he's going to find out."

"Not necessarily."

"Morgan, when Nick disappears he'll figure it out, and then he will lose it."

"Nick's coming back in a week."

"Wait … so you let Nick leave for a week and you didn't think to tell his best friend?"

"If he doesn't find out then there won't be an issue."

"There already is an issue!"

"Marcus, I'm just trying to do what's best here."

"If you were doing what was best you would have let Nick tell Jeff."

"Oh … Nick didn't know he was leaving."

"Are you kidding me?! This isn't fair!"

Morgan picked up his glass a final time and took a long swig.

"They can't be together forever, Marcus."

Marcus' head fell into his hands. He honestly felt like he was talking to a stranger. Never before had Morgan done such a thing as this.

And then it hit him.

"Oh my god," Marcus whispered "This is a test run, isn't it?"

Morgan sighed "In a certain sense … yes."

"You want to release him permanently, don't you?"

"Nick's recovery has been extremely succe-,"

"Marcus, if he leaves, he is going to be just like he was before. So is Jeff! You don't honestly think that this is a good idea."

"Like I said; they can't be together forever. I see that now, and I think that it will be easier if we just ease the idea into them first. I'm only trying to do what's best for my patients."

"You're wrong. This is wrong."

"This is my hospital, Marcus. These are my patients. I will do what's right for them even if they don't like it."

* * *

Morgan had arranged for Jeff to stay at Marcus' office for a few hours the next morning to keep him out of trouble. Marcus hesitantly agreed after a good hour of arguing with Morgan about the matter.

Jeff walked in at 11am looking positively aggravated.

"So this is really cheap." Jeff said as he threw himself down onto the ground where he stretched his body out and closed his eyes.

Marcus nodded. Morgan might be his boss, but Jeff deserved to know. He was torn.

"You know they might as well just throw me back in that prison cell that they used to keep me in."

Marcus bit his tongue.

"I mean why can't you just go and get him? You work here … you have an all access pass or some shit like that, right?"

"Jeff, you'll see him soon enough. Just be patient."

"Why do I have to be patient, hmm? You could go and get him while I wait here. It's really not that fucking hard now is it?"

Marcus was at his wits end. He knew that it was possibly dangerous and what he was about to do could get him fired. But he'd rather tell the truth and face the consequences than lie out of his teeth for the sake of covering up the unjust truth.

"Jeff …" He paused. He had to do this, "Nick isn't here."

Jeff leaned up onto his elbows and gave him a fucked off look

"Well yes, that is why I want you to get off your ass and go and get him."

"No … I mean he's not at Atlas."

Jeff's face contorted into a frown

"Very funny." He replied, dropping his head back down onto the floor.

"I'm not lying."

"No you're making excuses because you're lazy." Jeff's voice was becoming quicker and more panic stricken.

"Jeff …"

"No!" Jeff shoved himself off the floor and stood up; fists clenched "Shut the fuck up, ok?"

"You weren't supposed to know." "NO!" "And they didn't tell you because they knew you would be like this!"

"STOP LYING!"

"I'm not."

Jeff exhaled loudly, his nostrils flaring angrily.

"YOU'RE LYING!" He screamed before running out of the room. A few guards came into the room a few seconds after Jeff.

"Do we need back up?"

Marcus' index and thumb were pressed against his temples. He nodded slowly and the guards ran out after Jeff.

* * *

Jeff's boots clumped heavily against the ground as he ran to the low security building on the main courtyard.

He stopped outside the doors and started yelling.

"NICK! YOU BETTER FUCKING BE IN THERE! NICK!" He screamed. He continued to scream Nick's name until he was surrounded by 3 or 4 guards and Morgan and Susanna had come out to see what the commotion was. Marcus stayed put. He didn't want to face what he had done just yet.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH HIM?!"

"Jeff, you need to calm down." Morgan said calmly.

"NO! DON'T FUCKING TELL ME TO FUCKING CALM DOWN. WHERE IS HE?!"

"He's not well." Susanna said loudly and sternly.

"HE'S FUCKING FINE! AND YOU KNOW HOW I KNOW THAT? BECAUSE HE'S NOT FUCKING HERE!"

"Who told you that?" Morgan asked.

"MARCUS! MARCUS TOLD ME WHAT YOU FUCKERS DIDN'T HAVE THE BALLS TO!"

Morgan exhaled loudly "Marcus…" he muttered under his breath

"WHERE IS HE?!"

The guards surrounding his began to inch closer. Susanna had reached into her pocket for a small syringe.

"Jeff, you need to calm down." Susanna repeated.

"NO!" Jeff yelled, his voice cracking "You … YOU LIED TO ME!" He said, pointing at her, his voice breaking with every word.

Tears began to stream down his face.

"WHERE IS HE?!" Jeff repeated for what seemed like the twentieth time. His voice sounded more hurt than angry at this point.

"I'm so sorry, Jeff." Morgan said as he nodded to Susanna. She pulled out the needle.

Jeff saw it and crouched down on the ground. He couldn't stop sobbing. She crouched down next to him.

"I'm sorry."

"You took him away from me." He whispered as she pulled up his sleeve and stabbed the needle into his arm. He muttered a few incoherent words, and then fell unconscious.

One of the guards reached down to pick him up and everyone was silent.

"Well at least he didn't injure anyone this time." Susanna said quietly as she placed the now empty syringe back into her pocket.

* * *

TBC


	22. Chapter 22

When Nick woke up they had arrived. Day light had fled and the house that he used to call home now loomed eerily over him.

"We're here, honey." His mother placed a hand on his arm. He turned to look at her, and nodded. She smiled and got out. Nick did the same, going around to the trunk to collect his small bag. His mother proceeded into the house, pushing the door open wider behind her for Nick. He followed her in.

The house was different. Lighter. The previously tiled hallway was now carpeted with cream walls instead of the yellow which once graced the walls. At the end of the hallway was the kitchen. It too was painted lighter, but the fixtures remained the same. To the left of the kitchen was the lounge, but he couldn't see that far to see if it had been modified yet.

"You must be tired. I'll let you get unpacked and then you can sleep if you want." She said, walking up the stairs, motioning for him to follow.

The cream walls followed them through the whole upper floor as well. He peered into his mother's room at the top of the stairs which had remained the same, and then into his old room, which had also remained the same … almost creepily so. The bed had not changed, nor had his lined up shoes or even the item arrangement on his pale wooden shelves.

Nick dropped his bags on the floor.

"I'll be downstairs if you need me, honey." His mom said brightly, kissing him on the cheek before leaving. Nick nodded and shuffled to his bed, lowering himself down on it slowly.

"Shit." He whispered, as an uncomfortable clenching in his stomach started growing more and more painful as the minutes went by. He felt as if he were in some sort of cruel nightmare that he had no way of escaping. He was in hell. He looked around his room quickly as if searching for … something … a way out, an escape device … anything.

He knew that there was a nice knife rack in the kitchen that he could utilise. There was probably a bottle of household bleach under the kitchen sink. He might have even been able to use his mother's handgun if he knew where she kept it, but in the end he knew any attempt would be pointless. All his attempts were and even if he did and was sectioned again, there was no guarantee that he would be returned to Atlas. If anything he would be sent to an inner city psychiatric ward and he would never see those black gates or Jeff ever again. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. One week. Just one week, maybe even less if he acted with particular suicidal tendencies.

He pulled open his bag and rummaged around for his wash bag. He found it at the bottom along with the small collection of clothes that he had taken to Atlas. He stood and made his way out of his room and down the hall to the bathroom. The door was slightly ajar and he paused before pushing it open. He hoped to god that the shower curtain had been pulled. He took a deep breath and pushed it open, flicking on the light switch fast.

What greeted him was something completely different though. The old tub, shower, sink, and toilet had all been replaced with pristine new ones. The old tub was gone and a brand new one stood in its place. He stared for a good few minutes before actually going in. It felt like his mother had purposely done this to erase any of the passive evidence that anything horrible had ever happened there.

Nick still saw it though. He stared down at the new bath and although it was immaculate, he could still see the blood. He closed his eyes and imagined his limp, lifeless body laying there, all the blood disappearing down the plug hole. He closed his eyes and shook his head. He couldn't keep thinking like this if he expected to last the week.

* * *

"You re-did the bathroom." Nick said as he stood in the doorway of the lounge where his mother was reading a book.

She looked up at him quickly, her hand slapping against her chest.

"Nick! You scared me!" She said laughing quietly

"Why did you?"

"Well … I had some extra cash from your father's savings and I thought that I might as well put it to good use. Do you not like it?"

His dad's 'savings', of course she would have had to spend his life insurance some time or another.

"No it's …. It's lovely."

"Wonderful! Well then, do you want to join me or are you going to bed?"

"Bed. I just wanted to say good night."

"Good night, honey," She said softly as she got up to kiss him on the cheek, "I'm going to the store tomorrow morning, do you want to come?"

He nodded, "Of course."

"Lovely. Sleep well, honey."

"You too."

* * *

The next day passed like a haze. A dreary, rotten haze where everything seemed to pass him like nothing existed at all. He drifted in and out of shallow conversations with his mother, replying with things that he knew she wanted to hear and he rarely started a conversation with her.

He knew that they were both dancing around subjects that neither of them really wanted to discuss, but Nick almost brought them up once or twice just to spite his annoying mother, but he quickly bit his tongue, bringing up such subjects would be just as painful to him as it would be to her anyway.

Wednesday passed just as desperately. He went to bed that night not being able to remember any conversation he had had that day and he just about remembered going on a walk with his mother around the neighbourhood where she probably babbled on for a good hour about cooking or the pointless drama that happened between two of her friends, or her jealousy over someone who had one of those 'negro helpers' as she so eloquently put it. His mother had been the way she was ever since the death of Nick's father. Before she had been such a smart, interesting person who was never scared to say it how it was even if she ended up offending everyone she knew, but now she was simply a walking and talking machine that spouted useless shit about topics that nobody really cared about. Part of her died with her husband.

* * *

But Thursday night, that was when things changed. His mother had insisted on cleaning the whole immaculate house for the day so she and Nick had scrubbed every square inch until their bones ached. Nick was frustrated, no, not frustrated; pissed. He was so tired of being there, in that house, with her and he didn't know how long he could put up with her bullshit any longer.

He was sat on his bed before being called to dinner that night. He pulled up his long sleeves to reveal the multiple slit scars that train-tracked up his forearms. He rarely looked at them due to the fact that he always wore long sleeves without fail, but on this evening he decided her needed to reopen them, figuratively of course. He closed his eyes and imagined a great big butcher's knife coming down on his wrists and slicing huge gashes along his skin.

He needed to reopen his mother's wounds too, whether she liked it or not.

"Nick!" He heard his mom call from downstairs. Dinner was ready.

They ate in silence for the first 10 minutes, but when the chewing slowed and the plates began to empty, Nick placed his fork on the plate and looked up at his mother.

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"I'm glad you put dad's life insurance money to good use. That really is a lovely bathroom."

Her face fell. Life insurance money implied that he was dead. She didn't like to think of such things even if they weren't true.

"Thank you, honey." She replied without smiling.

"I mean, you had to spend it on something didn't you."

She kept her eyes on the plate and nodded.

"He would have loved what you've done with the house."

She looked up at him. The expression on her face was completely blank. He'd hit a nerve, and a painful one at that.

"Would he?" She asked quietly "I don't think he would have noticed."

"He loved anything that you did."

She nodded, she suddenly looked tired, her eyes had relaxed and they looked a little more shiny than usual.

"I tried to save him." She whispered, dropping her fork onto her plate.

Nick smiled weakly and shook his head

"No you didn't." He said bluntly.

He had finally gotten through.

"He wasn't well."

"No, he was crazy, just like me."

"You're not cra-,"

"Yes I am. The only difference between me and dad though is that I tried to kill myself 5 times and I failed every time. He only tried to kill himself once and he succeeded."

"Don't." She whispered.

"But, of course I at least had the decency to not invite anyone in to watch as I did it."

"Nicolas." She said a little louder. Tears had begun to fall down her cheeks.

"What's wrong, mom? Do you not want to talk about it?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"I don't really want to talk about it either, but I've had men in coats trying to find out what happened to me for almost two years now while you lived in your little world of denial."

"Stop it." She said, her voice becoming louder and harsher.

"It's such a shame that you didn't get to hear his neck bone snap as he stepped off the chair, I think that you would have enjoyed it as much as I did."

"NICOLAS!" She screamed, slapping her hands down on the table.

"Yes?"

"GO TO BED. NOW!"

"Yes, mother." He smiled, getting up from his seat and practically running out of the room. As he ascended the stairs he could hear his mother sobbing in the kitchen. He felt a twinge of guilt for a second, but then remembered that she would probably never mention to conversation or acknowledge that it even happened again. She would simply wipe the tears from her face, reapply her make up, and smile to herself as if the events that had caused her such sadness had only been a dream.

* * *

_June 1953_

_Nick's mother was in the Kitchen preparing food for their garden party later on that week and Nick was in his room reading his comic books. It was a rainy day out so he couldn't go out and play with his friends. He didn't mind though. He heard his father making some sort of noise in the room next door, but Nick's couldn't tell what. His father was always doing strange things for no particular reason. His mom had told him it was because he had seen horrible things in Europe before Nick had been born and when people see horrible things they do odd things to make themselves forget._

_All of a sudden his dad burst into his room looking positively elated._

"_Nicolas! Come look at this for a second!" His dad said brightly before rushing out of the room._

_Nick slapped his comic down onto his bed and followed his dad. He pushed open the door to reveal his father standing on a chair with a rope wrapped around his neck. The rope was tied to the ceiling beams above them. _

"_Nicky, watch this!" His dad said cheerfully._

_He stepped off the chair._

_Nick heard a loud cracking noise and his father gasping for air for a few seconds before becoming silent and just swinging there gently._

_Nick couldn't move. He didn't understand what had just happened._

_He kept on expecting his dad to open his eyes and jump down, but he didn't. He was completely silent._

"_MOM!" He screamed as loudly as he could_

"_Yes honey?"_

"_DAD'S NOT BREATHING!"_

"_What?!" She yelled back. Nick heard the clang of pans hitting the floor and then footsteps running down the hall towards them. _

_The last thing he remembers is the shrill scream that left his mothers mouth as she banged the door open._

_Never before had he heard a scream so soul destroying._

* * *

On Sunday, the pointless week was up and Nick and his mother had another painfully awkward drive back to Atlas. Nick had been right though, his mother hadn't mentioned their conversation again and everything was fine and dandy in her eyes. He felt almost relieved though. If his mom wasn't so shallow all the time he would have probably gone mad with all her questions. She hadn't even asked how his treatment was going or how Atlas was. She had probably convinced herself a year or so ago that her son really wasn't depressed, he was actually just away at church camp or something. His mother saw the world that she wanted to see it every moment of every day. She had the almost amazing ability to completely erase bad memories from her mind with little effort. Her skill level of utter delusion was shot through the fucking roof.

She dropped him off with a kiss on the cheek and he was escorted in by two mean looking guards. Instead of going back to his building, he decided to go straight to Morgan's office. There were things that he needed to tell that man that he probably wouldn't be able to tell him at any other point. His annoyance with the man had sparked a temporary confidence within him and he needed to vent.

* * *

"Ah, Nicolas, I trust you had an enjoyable vacation?"

Nick took a seat in front of him.

"Not really, no, but I do have some things to tell you, if it's not too late?"

Morgan was slightly taken aback.

"Not at all …" He replied.

"Ok, well you were probably never told this by my deluded mother but when I was 10; my father hung himself in front of me. I didn't know it at the time but it turned out that ever since he saw all those dead bodies at the concentration camps he liberated in the 40's in Europe, he became crazy and one day he just snapped and decided that it would be appropriate to show his only child the joys of self inflicted death. After that happened I too became suicidal and tried to kill myself 5 times, I failed every single time as you have probably worked out by now. After the fourth time my mom had had enough so she sent me here to rot in this awful place that you call a hospital. Also, you asked me before if I view death as an escape, and to answer that question, no, I don't. I view death as the only answer to my problems, like my heroic father did. I am really very sorry that I didn't tell you any of this before but to be honest, admitting things like this is, believe it or not, not a very easy thing to do, but after a week of my completely irritating mother burying herself so far deep into denial that she can only talk about housework and her hair I guess I … snapped."

Nick took a deep breath and finished.

Morgan couldn't bring himself to say a word. His mouth had fallen open slightly and he looked a little shocked to be honest.

"Now, if it's ok," Nick continued in his normal, calm voice, "I'm going to go and make sure that my best friend hasn't killed anyone since you sent me away without telling him where I was going."

He was about to get up and leave when Morgan stopped him.

"Nick … firstly, thank you for telling me this even if it has taken a year and a half, and secondly, you're not actually allowed to see Jeff."

Nick frowned,

"Why?"

"We've had to put him back into high security." Morgan admitted quietly

"Please tell me you're joking …"

"I'm sorry, Nick, we couldn't control him."

* * *

**TBC**


	23. Chapter 23

Jeff's week

Tuesday, April 2nd 1963:

He could hear somebody yelling in the hallway outside of his room, but he couldn't open his eyes. He was still stuck in the groggy period after waking up where everything seems so vapid. It takes him a few minutes to come around, eventually being able to open his eyes. He tries to lift up his arm but he can't and he doesn't know why. He's able to convince himself for a second that they did end up letting Abe stick a big rod into his eye socket while he was sleeping and that his brain wasn't able to connect to the limbs.

And then he looked down, and he can feel the rage building within him.

"WHY THE FUCK AM I HANDCUFFED TO MY GOD DAMN BED?!" He yells, hoping that this is actually just some shitty practical joke.

He hasn't remembered yet.

Nobody is outside. Nobody even walks past.

He looks down to his right hand, which for some reason is not handcuffed.

"IF SOMEBODY DOESN'T COME AND LET ME GO I SWEAR I WILL BREAK IT OFF MYSELF!" He yells once more. Nobody stirs.

_Fuck._

_Why the fuck am I handcuffed anyway …?_

He decides to take action. He throws all his body weight to the left and manages to roll off the bed and onto the ground, landing at a painful angle, a searing pain shooting through his shoulder. Luckily, the metal bars on his bed went around the mattress part of the bed, and the bed was on wheels, so maybe he could utilise it in some way. He picks himself up, twisting his wrist around in the cuff so that it wasn't such an awkward angle. He tries pulling the bed towards him. It's surprisingly easy to move. He edges toward the door, pulling the bed behind him slowly.

Much to his dismay, the bed was near silent along the linoleum. He had hoped that it would have caused just a little noise to try and get some outside attention.

He makes it the short distance to the door and tries again.

"HEY!" He yells through the thin crack in the door edge. "CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME WHY I'M CHAINED TO MY BED AND WHY I FEEL LIKE I ATE FUCKING SPONGES OR SOMETHING!"

He huffs, frustrated.

He heaves himself at the door with the side of his body, including his arm- which on impact felt like someone had punched him a couple of hundred times.

"What the fuck …" Jeff muttered to himself. He didn't remember getting into any fights.

But he did recall a similar feeling the last time they had injected him with that stuff that made him pass out.

And at that moment, he felt as though someone had injected dry ice into his veins.

_Nick._

Commence uncontrollable and hysterical screaming and yelling.

* * *

"Why did you tell him, Marcus?" Morgan asked as an exhausted Marcus sat before him.

"He deserved the truth."

"Marcus … we didn't lie to him just for fun … we were hoping that perhaps we could hold off letting him find out on a closer date to Nicks return."

"Morgan, do you really think that he wouldn't have figured it out after a day or two? Jeff loves that boy more than life itself! … He'll probably never admit it but an idiot can tell a mile away. You can't just send Nick away and expect Jeff to be oblivious of it."

"I'm not denying their friendship or its worth, not in any way, but we were hoping th-,"

"Oh fuck what you were hoping! You know what happens when they are split up and you did it anyway! What part of you thought that that would be a good idea?!"

"Marcus, I think you are failing to understand where I am coming from here. I don't treat Nick and Jeff together, I treat them as two different people who need different things and I fear that their lives are becoming far too entangled with one another."

"Exactly! But the thing that you can't see is the reason for that is that that is ALL they care about! One another! They don't care about anything but each other but you are so blind to that because you …. Well I don't really know why you can't see it but you need to start seeing it."

Morgan took a deep breath. He felt like he was becoming a broken record.

"Do I need to remind you that Jeffrey Sterling was convicted of 4 counts of murder but was granted insanity? And do you remember why Nicolas is here? Nick is here because he has major depression and suicidal tendencies. One is a murderer, the other is clinically depressed. I can't just forget that and become lenient because they are some how friends with each other. Jeff is a danger to other people and Nick is a danger to himself. _You_, Marcus, need to see _that_."

Marcus moves both elbows onto the chair armrests and lets his head fall into his palms.

"Only when they're apart." He muttered

"Excuse me?"

Marcus looks up at him

"Only when they're apart." He repeats

"Marcus …"

"That's something neither of us can deny seeing."

"They can't be like this forever. Nick is most definitely going to be leaving Atlas within the next few months and Jeff will not. What do you honestly expect me to do? Keep them here until they die just so I don't upset them?"

"No, I just think that maybe you should be a little bit sensitive towards them, because at the moment you are driving them apart with a fucking wrecking ball and your desperation is showing."

"I'm just trying to do my job."

"So am I."

"Well what am I supposed to do now? Now that you've made this mess?"

"I only messed up the mess that you already made, so lets not point fingers, and you should probably go and let Jeff out because he's probably awake right now and he's only going to get angrier every second that his hand is padlocked to his fucking bed."

"Necessary precaution."

"Yes, because the dead bolted door to his room just isn't enough."

Morgan shakes his head, smiling a little

"This is probably the worst day that I could be dealing with this."

"Why?"

"There's a new patient arriving at noon. Multiple personalities. His room is next to Jeff's."

Marcus breathes in sharply through his teeth before looking Morgan straight in the eyes with a large grin.

"Well good luck with that." Said Marcus. He walked out of the room.

* * *

The guards bowed their heads as Morgan walked past them to Jeff's door. Morgan looked in through the small window to see Jeff sitting in the middle of the room on the floor with his hand still limply attached to the bed frame. The bed had also been pulled out of place.

"I see he made an unsuccessful escape attempt." Morgan muttered to one of the guards.

"Yeah … we weren't really sure if it was ok to go in so we just left him there."

"It's fine. You boys can go now; I'll take it from here."

"Sure, sir?"

"Yes, yes. Thank you anyway."

They nodded to him and left. Morgan pulled out the key from his pocket and slotted it into the deadbolt. The door clicked open. Jeff didn't look up.

"I see you've been doing a little home improvement."

"Shut the fuck up." Jeff replied back spitefully.

"Jeff, I'm sorry, we didn't know what you were going to do."

"So you drugged me and handcuffed my fucking hand to my bed?!" Jeff half yelled back, shaking his locked up wrist around for emphasis.

"Necessary precautions."

"Bullshit. You know you people could have at least had the decency to tell me that you let him go and not FUCKING DRUGGED ME! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!"

"Jeff, all I can do right now is apologise. You didn't deserve that."

Jeff shook his head.

"You couldn't even let him tell me himself could you?"

"It was a last minute thing. He didn't know until he came to my office."

"HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW?!"

"No …"

"Wow you are a fucking awful person. Like honestly I thought I was bad, but you are something else." Jeff replied, picking himself up and pushing his bed back against the wall.

"It's only for a week, Jeff."

Jeff turned back to him.

"What?"

"He's coming back on Sunday."

"You're lying."

"Do you honestly think that I would lie to you again?"

"… Yes."

Morgan shook his head and shuffled his feet a little.

"Jeffrey, you need to trust me…"

Jeff let out a great howl of laughter

"TRUST YOU?! WHAT REASON HAVE YOU _EVER_ GIVEN ME TO TRUST YOU?"

"Just humour me then. He'll be back on Sunday, I promise you."

"If he hasn't fucking killed himself before then." Jeff spat

"Try to not assault anyone while he's gone, for both our sakes."

"I'll do what I like thanks very much."

"Of course you will," Morgan replied, walking over to Jeff while holding up the key for his handcuff. He released the cuff and dropped it into his pocket "Oh, and Jeffrey? He's not going to kill himself and he's not going to try to."

"Why not? I would if I was him."

"Because of you." Morgan said with a smile before walking out of the room and closing it behind him.

Jeff sat there for a good five minutes rubbing his wrist before the anger started to leak back into him.

"FUCKER!" He screamed to absolutely nobody.

* * *

The new patient was escorted to Marcus' office shortly after his arrival. The new patient, who's name was Blaine was 18 and had multiple personalities, well two to be exact. One part of his persona was the good side, one was the bad. It was like he couldn't control his mind so half of the time he did all things that he thought appropriate and nice and the other half does all the things deemed bad by society.

Blaine sat down in the seat in front of Marcus.

"You must be Blaine." He said to the boy with wildly curly black hair in front of him.

"Yeah…" He mumbled. Clearly the good persona hadn't decided to show up today.

Marcus flicked through the file in front of him. Apart from a couple of counts of harassment and a couple of trips to inner city psychiatric wards, his file was relatively clean. There were also multiple side notes stating that he was an obsessive liar and patroniser.

"And would you mind telling me your other name?"

"You mean the good side I suppose …?"

"Yes."

"He calls himself Kurt. I don't really know why."

"Kurt and Blaine. I'll have to make a note of that. Blaine, do you know why you're here?"

"Because apparently it's illegal to have sex with a dead body."

Morgan blinked at him.

"… I see. Well you'll be glad to know that you will only staying here for 3 weeks for observation purposes. If it's ok with you I'd like to meet with you here 3 times a week."

"Why?" Blaine asked bluntly

"Just to see how you're getting on."

"Fine. Can I go now?"

"Yes … I'll escort you to your building so you can get unpacked."

Blaine just rolled his eyes and walked out the building before Morgan.

He was silent for most of the walk and Morgan didn't bother to try and make conversation, Blaine didn't seem like the sort to make pleasant small talk.

They were almost at the door when Blaine stopped abruptly. Morgan turned around to see him with his head bent forward and his eyes closed.

"Blaine?"

He suddenly whipped his head up and beamed at Morgan. He laughed a little and shook his head.

"Not quite."

"Kurt?"

"That's me! Nice to meet you!" He said, holding out his hand.

Morgan shook it.

"You too. What happened to Blaine?"

"Oh he's probably off somewhere sulking."

"I see. Shall we go in?"

"Sure." He said with a smile.

Morgan introduced him to the front desk staff and Kurt insisted on introducing himself properly to all 6 of them. They all seemed a little overwhelmed by his kindness. It was a rarity in their workplace.

Morgan then led him up the stairs and down the corridor to his room, which was coincidently next to Jeff's.

"Why are there guards outside of his room?" Blaine, no, _Kurt _asked curiously.

Morgan looked at the room next door

"That's Jeff. He can be a little difficult sometimes so we have to take precautions."

"…Oh … that's a shame."

"It is." Morgan replied quietly. He unlocked Kurt's room and Kurt walked in slowly.

"Well it's certainly better than my room at my old place."

"I'm glad. Now you may leave the building on your own whenever the doors are open but you must sign out and tell somebody where you are going. You are not allowed to go into any of the other patient buildings unless told to do so by me. You can go to the mess hall at anytime of day but food is usually served around 8am, noon, and 4-6pm."

"Lovely, ok, got it."

"Oh, and I would ask that you keep out of the way of my other patients, most importantly Jeff Sterling, he tends to get … well he doesn't act too kindly to many people. So it's best to just avoid him."

"Ok … keep out of Jeff's way."

"Thank you. Now you can stay here if you want, you and I don't have a session until Friday so just sit tight until then."

Kurt nodded

"Great."

* * *

Wednesday, April 3rd 1963

It was 7am.

"CAN SOMEBODY UNLOCK THE DOOR, I NEED TO PEE!"

One of the guards groaned and unlocked the door.

"Wait … I actually get to use the bathroom? I feel like I'm in a fucking hotel Jesus Christ."

Jeff walked out of the doorway and down the hall, the guard following him closely. Jeff turned around to look at him.

"You're not actually following me are you? Because this corridor is a dead end which only leads to the bathroom and the bathroom only has one way in and one way out."

"I don't care. We have to escort you everywhere."

Jeff rolled his eyes and carried on his way.

"Fine!" He yelled over his shoulder, "But just don't come in with me. That's just weird and if I was going to be put in a room with my dick out with another guy, it wouldn't be you."

The guard stopped as Jeff entered the bathroom. He closed the door behind him with a loud bang.

"Yeah we all know who it would be." The guard muttered under his breath.

Jeff looked around the room and headed straight to the sinks. He turned on the cold faucet and splashed his face. He turned off the faucet and looked at himself in the mirror. His blonde hair was in disarray around his forehead, flicked into a crown of jagged ends.

"Fucking hell, I look like Jesus." He muttered, smirking a little. He stared into his dark eyes for a few seconds.

"If you fuck up, they'll never let you see him again."

Jeff closed his eyes and rested his face against the wall.

"_Fuck_." He whispered.

* * *

Thursday, April 4th, 1963

On Thursday, after hearing about Jeff's good behaviour, Morgan permitted him to leave his room accompanied for food. Jeff couldn't help feeling a sense of supreme accomplishment when he found out. Never before had he achieved anything for 'good behaviour'.

The mess hall was near deserted when he got there. The usual 'retardation squad', as Jeff liked to call them, were mulling around already. There was also another boy sitting at the tables looking particularly moody. Jefff hadn't seen this one before. He had black curly hair and as far as Jeff could see; brown eyes … or they might have been hazel, he couldn't tell and he didn't care.

The guard escorting Jeff fell back against the wall but kept his eyes firmly fixed on the boy. Jeff ignored his and headed for the table that he and Nick usually tried to hide at. It felt odd sitting alone. Jeff didn't quite like making fun of the people there without Nick sitting there giving him the '_stop being such a_ _dick' _look. Jeff sometimes just did it so Nick would do the look because he found it so adorable.

He shook the thought out of his mind. He folded his arms on the table and dropped his head onto them. He breathed in heavily a few times before he was rudely interrupted by the sound of the chair opposite his scraping against the floor. His head shot up.

For a moment he actually thought it might have been Nick.

It wasn't.

Instead, the boy sitting next to him was the new kid. He had a spiteful looking smile on his perfect little face.

"What?" Jeff said bluntly.

"It's Jeff, right?"

"It's fuck off, right?" Jeff looked at the guard who was supposed to be watching him. He had been distracted by one of the pretty nurses. Jeff rolled his eyes.

"Funny. That's funny. My name is Blaine."

"That's great. I don't care."

Blaine grinned at him.

"You look like you're waiting for something."

"I'm not."

"Are you sure about that?"

Jeff frowned at him.

"I'm sorry, but do you want something or are you just naturally an annoying asshole?"

"I just moved in to the room next to yours,"

"Congratulations."

"And I was just wondering who this Nick person was."

Jeff felt his whole body tense.

"Excuse me?" He said through gritted teeth.

"Nick … I heard you yelling his name in your sleep. The walls here are paper thin. Who is he?"

Jeff stood up suddenly; his chair fell back against the floor behind him.

"Who he is, is none of your fucking business." He replied, slamming his hands down on the table."

The staff had now turned their attention toward the two and Jeff could see the guar edging closer out of the corner of his eye.

Blaine laughed quietly.

"Have I struck a nerve?"

"Get the fuck away from me." Jeff whispered.

Blaine snorted and grinned at Jeff cheekily.

Jeff swore he felt his blood boil under his thin skin membrane. He took a deep breath and turned to the guard.

"I'm done here." He muttered. The guard walked out in front of him and Jeff didn't look back once. He knew if he did he wouldn't be able to stop himself from going back there and ripping the guy's throat out.

* * *

That evening, Jeff had decided that sleep would be the only solution to temporarily calming himself. Morgan had been alerted of the incident and decided to make a visit to Blaine … or Kurt, which ever one was present. He knocked on the open door, and Kurt looked up at him.

"Good Evening, Doctor Morgan."

"Hello, Kurt, I was wondering if I could have a quick chat with you."

"Sure." Kurt replied, frowning.

"I'm not sure if you're aware but Blaine had an incident with Jeff Sterling this afternoon and he got out of it this time but I fear that if he decides to do it again that Mr Sterling might not be so civil, so I was just wondering if perhaps you could send a … message to him asking to leave Jeff alone?"

"Oh … well I'm really sorry about that, but no I can't. Blaine and I don't really comply with each other. But he usually gets bored with people really quickly so just give it a few days and he'll give up."

"Yes but that's the problem. Jeff won't give him a few more days."

"I don't really know what to say. The only thing I can do is try and stick around for a bit. If Blaine isn't here then he won't be able to upset anyone."

"I would greatly appreciate that if you could. It's only that Jeff is a little fragile right now and it would make my job a lot easier if Blaine wouldn't start a riff with him."

"I'll see what I can do." Kurt replied kindly.

"Thank you." Morgan replied with a smile before exiting the room and peeping into Jeff's. He was sound asleep. Morgan sighed in relief, and then headed for the stairs.

* * *

Friday, April 5th, 1963

Morgan allowed Jeff to go to the mess hall again under the premises that Blaine/Kurt would stay away from him but if not, a staff member would intervene. This time, he was being allowed to go alone.

On the way he had a thought.

An impulse, if you would.

There was a boy who spent his whole time notching shapes into the wall of the corridor with a quarter. Jeff didn't really know much about him other than that he didn't like being told what to do and he didn't like to be bothered. Jeff remembered on several occasions that he had heard the kid wailing loudly in the hallway whenever a nurse had tried to get him into his room to sleep. The kid didn't like the nurses.

Jeff smiled and walked up to him.

"Hey." Jeff said loudly. The kid didn't look up.

"What do you want?" He replied abruptly

"Listen, I don't want to start trouble or anything but the other day I was by the front desk and I heard this woman talking about you. She called you a slut."

The boy looked up.

"She said that about me?" He sounded horrified

"Yeah … I mean I thought it was pretty mean and stuff and I just thought that maybe you would want to go and talk to her about it."

"Why did she call me a slut I'm not a slut, she's a slut, why would she say that? I don't know, I don't know. I should go and tell her that I'm not a slut because I'm not a slut."

"Yeah you should totally go up to her and just like … smash her face in. Show her who's boss."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah I should show her … I should show her who's the boss, yeah, yeah."

"Mhmm, yeah just fucking kick the shit out of her."

"But I don't know which one she is …"

_Fuck._

"Uhh, yeah it was the blonde one …actually fuck it, it was probably all of them, but you should definitely fuck some shit up just so they know, right?"

"Yeah … yeah … yeah I'm gonna do it now!"

"No, shh, not yet … can you just wait like … oh, 10 minutes? Can you do that for me?"

"I guess …"

"Great, thanks. And remember, smash her fucking face in, ok?"

"Yeah … yeah …"

Jeff smiled at him brightly and walked away down the hallway.

"Idiot." He muttered.

* * *

Jeff arrived in the mess hall a 2 or 3 minutes later. He kept his eyes on the clock as he sat down in his usual seat. This was just his insurance.

He looked over to where Blaine was sitting. He had the same exact seat and the same exact facial expression as he did the day before. Jeff slouched back in his seat and waited. A minute or so later, Blaine's eyes drifted to the empty seat opposite Jeff and he slowly got up from his chair to edge his way over there. He sat down in the seat and Jeff smirked at him. Jeff turned to the guard who was now staring intently at them.

"Relax," Said Jeff "I'm not going to do anything."

The guard frowned at them, and then looked away. Jeff had 5 minutes left, give or take.

"So." Jeff begun.

"You intrigue me." Blaine announced.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. You seem to be this tall ass scary guy who clearly has anger issues … but you have a soft nerve in you … called Nick."

"Why are you so interested in who Nick is?" Jeff asked, trying to not let his annoyance slip through into his voice.

"Because you got so annoyed yesterday when I mentioned him."

"I get annoyed over a lot of things."

"No you weren't annoyed about him. You were annoyed that I mentioned him."

"What point are you trying to make here?"

"I just want to know who he is."

"That's none of your fucking business."

"How about I guess? Let's see. He could be your brother, but you don't seem like the type to have a brother, you're too arrogant. You probably have a sister."

"You're an idiot."

"… maybe he's an old friend. But he seems to be all you dream about so that would be a little strange."

Jeff shook his head. Three minutes.

"He can't be here because you would probably be with him now."

Jeff let his eyes fall shut. Nick was going to hate him for what he was about to do.

Two minutes.

"But something tells me that he might have been. Something also tells me that maybe Nick is more than a brother or a friend, because the way you wail his name in the night is positively heart wrenching."

Jeff's eyes fell open.

He didn't have a choice.

One minute.

The door of the mess hall burst open and a guard came rushing in.

"BACKUP IN MEDIUM SECURITY!" The burly man yelled. All the guards in the room suddenly assembled and rushed out the door. The one that remained looked at Jeff and then back to the guard who had just burst in.

"But Jeff's here …"

The guard looked at Jeff.

"Yeah that's what I said but it's another patient. He's assaulted three nurses."

"Oh shit," He looked at Jeff "Don't you dare leave."

Jeff smiled "Wouldn't dream of it."

Jeff turned back to Blaine.

"So what is Nick, then?"

Jeff smirked

"That's none of your fucking business."

Blaine paused

"Is Nick your lover?" He asked cheekily.

Jeff felt his insides turn red hot as he stood up from his seat. He edged away from his chair and began to walk away.

"Make sure Morgan doesn't find out. He'll never let you leave."

Jeff stopped and looked around the room. The guards were gone. His plan had worked.

Nick really was going to be so disappointed.

Jeff turned around on his heel quickly and grabbed the chair that he had been sitting on.

He raised it high above his head and let it smash down on Blaine's face.

"NICK,"

He raised it and dropped it again

"IS NOT,"

He did it again

"MY LOVER,"

He did it again

"HE,"

And again

"IS MY _MOTHERFUCKING_ EVERYTHING!"

Jeff's ears where ringing. He dropped the chair and looked down at what he had done. Blaine's face, or what was left of it, was a bloody mess. His head was leaned back, and blood was dripping onto the floor behind him. He was barely breathing.

Jeff could still hear the shrill yells that left Blaine's mouth in his head; it was like they were echoing through time. His whole body was numb and the room felt like it was dissolving around him. It was a few seconds before he was being pinned down on the floor while his hands where being clasped together behind him.

As he was being dragged away he barely even registered his feet trailing across the floor. All he could see what the look on one of the nurses faces as she cupped that back on Blaine's head and leaned her ear down near his nose.

"He's not breathing!" She screamed as other nurses began swarming around with large bags filled with copious amounts of medical instruments that Jeff didn't know the names of.

"I'm so sorry, Nick." He whispered as he was being pulled from the building.

* * *

**TBC**


	24. Chapter 24

"What do you mean you couldn't control him?"

"Your absence didn't particularly bode well for him."

Nick grinded his teeth together slowly,

"What do you mean _you couldn't control him_?"

"Nicolas … it's a difficult subject."

"No," He replied a little louder than anticipated "Can you please just explain to me what he's done?"

Morgan gestured to the seat in front of him as he leaned back into his seat.

"Take a seat, Nick."

Nick complied and sat before the doctor.

"Are you going to tell me what he did?"

Morgan sighed heavily and removed the glasses from his face, setting them down on the table in front of him.

"He's killed another patient."

And there it was. Four words that made Nicks veins feel like they were filled with dry, rough ice.

"No …" Nick whispered. He felt the room spinning around him.

"… Beat his head in …" Morgan continued.

"Oh _god …_" Nick whimpered, letting his head fall forward into his hands.

" … With a chair. The boy died about an hour later. We couldn't save him."

"How could you do this to him?" Nick whispered as a feeling of empty heat gouged its way up his throat.

"He brought this on h-,"

"NO!" Nick screamed, banging his hands on the desk "THIS WAS YOU. IF YOU HADN'T MADE ME LEAVE THE GUY WOULD STILL BE ALIVE AND JEFF WOULDN'T BE LOCKED UP. THIS WAS ALL YOU AND YOU KNOW IT!"

Nick took in a deep breath and let it out in shuddered breaths.

"Nick, you need to calm down and listen to me. Jeff is not a sane person. You of all people should know that."

"So why did you send me away?!"

"I thought it was the right thing to do."

"For who?! You knew that I didn't want to leave with that woman, and you knew that Jeff was going to go crazy on his own, so why did you do it?"

"Nick, you have to calm down or we will not be able to have this conversation."

"Oh my … How on earth do you have the balls to call yourself a doctor when all you do is make people feel worse? And for the record, if you are keeping one, of course, I will not calm down because I have the right to be angry in this situation. Oh, and while we're at it, you are going to let me see him because if you don't I swear to god I will sue you for everything that you have."

"Nick you can't-,"

"I don't give a_ fuck_." Nick replied, standing quickly and storming out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

* * *

Marcus was sat in his office, head resting on his arms. This was his fault. He knew it was. If he hadn't of told Jeff, maybe this could have been avoided.

But he was a fool.

Marcus heard the door of his room burst open. His head shot up immediately. Stood in the door way was a very flushed looking Nick.

"Where is he?" Nick said as he approached Marcus.

"So I see you heard."

"He's in high security, does that mean the building or the prison place … the security place, is he there?"

Marcus nodded slowly.

"They aren't going to let you near him."

"They have to."

"No they don't, Nick. They only just gave me permission to visit him tomorrow."

"So take me with you."

"I can't do that. He's not safe."

"That's not true."

"Nick, he beat that kids head in with a chair. I don't know if you know this, but that's actually considered murder, and he already has 4 counts of that on his back."

"What did he even do it for anyway?!"

"I don't know. That's what I was hoping to find out tomorrow."

Nick ran a hand through his hair and grabbed a near by chair. He pulled it up opposite Marcus and sat down.

"They're going to lobotomise him, aren't they?"

Marcus turned his eyes away from Nick.

"Nothing's been confirmed."

"I won't let them."

"Nick, you don't have any say in what happens to him, I'm sorry, but I have to be honest."

" … So they won't even let me talk to him?"

Marcus shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Nick."

"I know."

* * *

Marcus made his way to the security centre at 10am the next morning. It was a cloudy, grey day. The weather was almost a direct reflection of everyone's mood.

He held his ID card up to various guards as he worked his way through the building to the epicentre where the blonde boy was being kept. He eventually made it to the room. The door was off-white steel and two guards were stood outside.

"Mornin' Marcus." One of them greeted him.

"Hi guys. Listen, do you mind giving me 15 minutes with him alone?"

"Yeah sure." The other said, but still didn't move.

"I mean, could you go and take a walk for 15 minutes please?"

"Oh. No we're under strict instructions to stay here."

"Jesus Christ … ok, well can you at least go down the hall a little? He's not going to talk if you two are staring in through the glass at us."

One guard looked at the other, nodded, and they both moved down the corridor 5 or 10 meters after handing Marcus the key to the door.

Marcus mouthed 'Thank you' at them, and slid the key into the slot. He twisted it and pushed the door open. He almost dropped the key once he saw Jeff.

The boy was lying face down on the floor with his arms strapped behind his back. They had put him in a straight jacket.

"Oh my god."

"I promise you that it feels just as great as it looks." Jeff mumbled against the padded floor beneath his mouth.

Marcus closed the door behind him and pocketed the keys.

"Why are you face down on the floor?"

"Because I was trying to get out of this fucking thing and I fell and I couldn't get up."

"Oh for …" Marcus bent down and pushed Jeff onto his back. Jeff lunged himself up into a sitting position.

"Thank the fucking lord." He said, shuffling backwards so that he was propped up against the wall. Marcus sat down opposite him against the wall.

"So how are you?" Marcus asked slightly awkwardly, he had no idea what to say to someone who had just committed murder.

Jeff looked around the room.

"Oh I'm doing just great." He replied sarcastically.

They sat in silence for a moment.

"Why did you do it, Jeff?"

Jeff sighed quietly.

"That's a very complex question which can actually be answered with a question of mine. Why did they take him away from me?"

"… He's not your property, Jeff."

"I never said he was."

Marcus shook his head.

"I don't know why they did it. I wasn't told until after he'd left."

"Yeah well neither was I, the only difference is that they didn't drug you afterwards."

"I can see why they did! Jeff, if they had told you sooner then you would have killed someone a lot faster than you did."

Jeff's eyebrows shot up.

"I killed him?"

"You beat his brain in with a chair."

"Oh _fuck_ … I only meant to like … injure him …"

"… So you decided to hit him in the face with a chair multiple times?"

"Well yeah but …shit. Well my criminal record is getting kinda bulky now isn't it?"

"Jeff. You have to realise how serious this is."

Jeff rolled his eyes.

"Marcus, I don't know if you heard but I killed my entire family and our housekeeper. I'm used to this shit."

"It's different this time."

"Why? Because they're going to shove a metal rod into my eye?"

Marcus shook his head.

He didn't reply for a minute or so.

"Why did you do it, Jeff? What did he do that was so bad to you that you had to kill him?"

"He was annoying me."

"Jeff … you can't just kill someone because they annoy you, it doesn't work like that."

"It depends what they're annoying you about."

"No, it doesn't, and what could he have been annoying you about that it made you do that? The kid didn't know you."

Jeff laughed a little and spiked his eyebrows up.

"He heard me talking in my sleep." He admitted quietly

"And?"

"Apparently I was yelling Nick's name in my sleep and he wanted to know who Nick was. And he wouldn't let it _drop_."

"So what? So he asked you about Nick? If you wanted him to leave it then you should have just told him who Nick was. I don't see the issue."

"It was the things he was suggesting."

Marcus frowned at him.

"He wanted to know if Nick was my _lover_."

Marcus' mouth formed a little 'O' shape.

"And that patronised me." He continued.

"Why?" Marcus asked quietly. He felt as if he knew what was coming. He'd known it all along.

"You know why."

Marcus' eyes fell to the floor.

"I don't actually." He mumbled. He did know, of course, but Jeff had to admit it first.

"Marcus, just 'cause I'm crazy, does not mean I'm fucking blind. You saw it. I know you did so don't lie you fucker."

"Jeff, I don't know-,"

"I fell in love." Jeff cut in nonchalantly

There it was.

"And some asshole comes in here and starts asking me if Nick's my lover … And you want to know why that pissed me off so much? Because I want Nick to be with _every_ fibre of my pathetic little being but I can't because … well, I'm not supposed to love. I don't deserve to be able to love."

Marcus nodded slowly.

"You knew, didn't you?" Jeff asked.

Marcus nodded slowly.

"How?"

"Because like you, I'm not blind. The other people who work here might be, but I haven't been here as long as Morgan or Abraham has. My mind is still aware of things that can't be seen with the naked eye. I think you made it a bit too obvious actually, somebody as awful as you wouldn't be able to like anyone else just as a friend. You feel everything too strongly to just _like_ someone. The only two things you can probably feel for a person is extreme forms of hate, and love. You certainly don't hate Nick, so it had to be the latter."

"You know I tried to reject it at first."

"Why?"

"… I don't want to love him. At all. The idea sort of repulses me actually. But I released after a while that if I just didn't acknowledge that I was, then I wouldn't want to push him away."

"You should never push away love, Jeff."

"That was always how it was though. The only problem is that Nick is the only person that I've actually viewed to have some fucking worth in this world. Apart from me, of course."

Marcus nodded.

"Jeff, why are you telling me this?"

"Well I thought that considering that you've given me the least shit since I've been here, and I'm either going to be lobotomised or sent to jail in a few days I figured that it wouldn't really hurt to vent."

* * *

"Just give Nick 10 minutes with him. What's the worst that could happen?" Marcus nearly begged Morgan later that evening in his office.

"He's unstable."

"You. Put. Him. In. A. Straight. Jacket. And this is Nick we're talking about! He would never hurt Nick."

"Just because he hasn't already, doesn't mean that he _will_ never."

"This is ridiculous."

"I'm only trying to do what's right-,"

"OH CHANGE THE RECORD! I'm really sorry, Morgan but every single time you say that you only sound more ridiculous than the last time you said it! You say you're trying to do the right thing, but you never do, and if you had any sense in that acclaimed mind of your, you would just give them 20 minutes together! I think that's pretty fair play considering what Abe is probably going to be doing to the kid in a few days."

Morgan bit his bottom lip.

"Nothing has been decided yet."

"Oh give it up. Jeff's future was decided the moment he stepped through those gates. You knew how this was going to end. _Abe_ knew how this was going to end, but of course he always does. What you've done to those boys is really cruel and I honestly think that you should be ashamed."

"I have nothing to be ashamed of."

"Oh believe me, you do. Jeff needed help that you weren't giving him. All because you knew that no matter what you did, the end result would always be the same! You would make no effort to rehabilitate him and Abe would always win you over and that would be that. Another brain-dead patient that you would have to throw into some home somewhere."

"Marcus please don't make this difficult."

"I'm not; I'm making it easy for you. Give Nick a pass to see him. It's the least you can do for them after all."

Morgan tutted a few times quietly.

"Fine."

"Thank you."

"But, before you go I would ask something of you."

"… Go ahead."

"Abraham and I will be having a meeting tomorrow after noon to discuss the present situation and I think it would be good if you attended."

"Why?"

"Because according to you, you're the only person here who actually cares about the boy. I think we need your input too."

Marcus nodded and left the room.

* * *

**TBC**


	25. Chapter 25

Marcus met Nick a few feet from the security buildings entrance the next morning. Nick looked like he hadn't slept.

"Here's your pass to get in. They've already been told that you're visiting, but just in case."

"Thank you." Nick replied groggily. "Does he know that I'm coming?"

Marcus shook his head "It'll be a nice surprise."

Nick nodded and gave him a weak smile. He walked into the building.

He showed the first guard he saw his pass.

"Ahh yeah, Duval, you're here to see Jeff right?"

"Yes." He replied quietly.

"Right. Follow me."

The guard led him down a dark hallway and through a door at the end which led up a flight of stairs to the upper level of the building. The lighting on the second floor was brighter, but still had a depressing blue hue to it. It was almost unsettling. The guard led his past a row of empty rooms which all had their lights switched off. Nick could see a little down the hall a room with a light shining out from it. There was another guard standing outside the room. He perked up when he saw the two of them approaching.

The guard at the door pulled the key out of his pocket and slid it into the lock. He twisted it but didn't open the door.

"All yours." He said as him and the other guard shuffled away muttering something about 'break time'. Nick looked back as they rounded the corner down the stairs. And he was alone. He gripped onto the door handle and twisted, swinging the door open as slowly as he could.

Jeff was sitting on the floor, still in the straight jacket, with his head pressed against his knees. His eyes were closed.

"Fuck off. I don't care and I don't want to eat."

Nick's hand instinctively reached for his mouth. He stood there for a few seconds, not knowing what to do.

"Jesus Christ, WHAT-," Jeff looked up. "Nick …"

Nick nodded and Jeff began to struggle in his jacket. Nick hurried over and began to undo the buckles on the jacket as Jeff almost ripped the thing off him. He finally got his arms free and flung them around Nick's neck. Nick's arms wound around his waist tightly.

"I'm sorry Nick … I'm so sorry." Jeff said as he pressed his face into Nick's neck.

"I know." Nick replied, pulling Jeff towards him as much as he could.

Nick loosened his grip and Jeff followed. Nick pressed his hands against Jeff's cheeks.

"All you had to do was wait," Nick whispered "Just a few days. I would never just leave you here."

"I couldn't help it. I go crazy when you're not with me."

"Oh Jeff …"Nick brushed the hair from his forehead "You're crazy whether I'm here or not."

Jeff laughed a little.

"Yeah I guess you're right."

"How long have you been in here?"

"I don't know … a few days or something."

Nick sighed and dropped his hands from Jeff's cheeks to his shoulders.

"Nick, I'm scared." Jeff admitted quietly. It broke Nick's heart to hear someone who was so head strong and confident uttering such words. It felt as if time had worn the boy down and the pure anger and hatred that used to reside in him was now replaced by a shell of anger that, if broke through, revealed the unwanted fear that he had been running from his whole life

"Why?" Nick asked calmly, running his hands down Jeff's arms.

"Because I know what they're going to do to me."

"No." Nick said firmly "They're not going to do anything to you."

"Yes they are."

"Well if you keep telling yourself that they are, you're going to do something that actually will make them do it."

"It's too late. I can't get out of it this time. That asshole surgeon guy is coming for me and I can't do anything to stop him."

"He's not going to do anything to you." Nick replied, now aware that a tiny part of him knew that he was probably not telling the truth.

"Nick, please stop fucking saying that!"

"Well what do you want me to say?!"

"Nothing!"

Nick backed away a little, standing up from his where he had been kneeling on the floor.

"So … so what, would you like me to leave?"

"No! No, I just … don't lie to me because I'm the one who fucked up and you don't need to lie to me."

"I'm not lying! I don't know what's going to happen to you!"

"Well it's not exactly like they're going to let me go!"

"Yeah but guess what, Jeff, when somebody murders another human being, they usually either get the death sentence; or life in prison. _You _have killed _five_. Five people and all you can do is sit here and feel sorry for yourself!"

"I'm not feeling sorry for myself, fuck you!" Jeff spat.

Nick was taken aback. The only time Jeff had ever taken that tone with him was the previous year when they had both been in Morgan's office, and Morgan was trying to get him to speak.

"Ok, you know what? I'm just going to leave because clearly I'm offending you or something so …"

Nick turned on his heel towards the door when;

"Stop leaving me!"

Nick stopped and turned around. Jeff was now stood up and few feet away from him.

"I have no reason to stay."

"I need to tell you something!"

"…What?"

"Not while you're fucking angry at me."

"Oh that's rich coming from the person who spends their whole life being angry. If you need to tell me something then please just say it, Jeff."

Jeff's eyebrows drew together, but not in the way that a person frowns. It was more of a look that meant that if he opened his mouth to speak then the whole world would come crashing down on him.

"I can't." He whispered. His voice was slightly off pitch. Nick couldn't stay to see him cry. It would break his heart beyond repair.

"Well then it can't be that important." Nick looked down at Jeff's jacket "I should probably do that up before I go."

Jeff stepped away, tears now threatening to fall down his pale face.

"No … Nick … please just listen to me."

"No, Jeff, you need to listen to me. You_ killed_ someone, again. And this happened after months of you being normal … well no, _your_ version of normal."

"Nick,"

"So why is it that I left for 1 week and suddenly you go back to how you were?"

"I don't like being here without you." Jeff replied as loud as he could without his voice betraying him.

"So why couldn't you just wait?"

"Because I couldn't cope … I don't know how to be a civil human being without you."

"Why? Why do you need me?"

"… Because I love you."

Nick's breath hitched in his throat and he felt himself physically shying away from the words that Jeff had just spoken.

"No you don't" Nick replied, shaking his head in disappointment.

"Nick …" Jeff said quietly as his bottom lip wobbled a little. He tried to take hold of Nicks hand but Nick pulled away and tucked his hand behind his back.

Jeff couldn't help but choke out a quiet sob. He realised in that moment that Nick leaving was bad, but Nick rejecting him? It was a fate worse than death."

"If you really loved me then I would have came back and not found you locked up in a straight jacket because you killed someone. If you loved me, you would have waited for me. But of course, there's also the fact that you, Jeff Sterling, don't love anyone. All you do is hate and hurt people, and I have no idea why you are the way you are."

"Nick, please, I'm not lying to you! I do love-,"

"Please don't." Nick replied, cutting him off and easing backwards toward the partially open door.

"Don't leave me." Jeff begged quietly

"Oh, believe me, Jeff, I don't think I want to but I think I just realised how angry I am with you and right now, I can't be around you."

Jeff straightened up and took a deep breath in. He didn't want to be the weak one here; he refused to feel weak and backboneless.

"Well before you go, can you at least explain to me why you're angry with me now? You know that I killed people before and you seemed to have no problem with that." Jeff said sternly as he wiped the back of his hand across his cheeks.

Nick backed into the doorway, closing the final distance for him to leave. He rested his hand on the door knob and Jeff eyed it up nervously.

"Because this time; you ruined _us_." He said finally before pausing for a brief second or two, and then slamming the door close in front of him. He turned quickly away from the window and bolted down the corridor. He needed air. He felt as though his rib cage was squeezing the air out of his lungs like thin fingers would with a blocked glue bottle.

Jeff simply stared at the door for a few minutes, not entirely sure what he was meant to do. He felt himself tipping off the edge but he wasn't falling into the dark abyss. He had no energy left to yell. He didn't really even want to yell. Everything was just going numb around him.

The silence was deafening, the only thing that was giving off any sort of response was the thumping of his pulse in his ear.

_He's left you now, you're all alone._

_I know._

_When did you become so feeble and pathetic?_

_Fuck you, I'm not fucking pathetic, you're pathetic._

_You are pathetic, and you know how I know that?_

_How?_

_Because it's bad enough that you fell in love with someone, but you fell in love with someone who doesn't love you back._

Jeff heard himself choke out a sob and he instinctively slapped his hand over his mouth to muffle the sound.

"He doesn't love me back." He whispered.

_Weak._

"SHUT UP!" He screamed, digging his knuckles into his temples "JUST SHUT THE FUCKING FUCK UP!"

_You don't deserve love, Jeff Sterling. You don't deserve his love. When he gets out of this place he's going to find someone to love and you'll be all alone … and pathetic … and of course you'll be weak, because at the end of the day, Jeff Sterling is just a scared little boy wearing an armour of hate that is far too big for him._

Jeff fell to the floor.

He began to cry, just because even the psychotic aren't immune from the harsh sting of a broken heart.

* * *

As Marcus walked to Morgan's office for 'the discussion' meeting, he was aware of two things that were more or less going to happen; the first being that his opinion was probably not being taken into account what so ever, and the second being that Abraham was probably going to get his way.

Marcus could only pray that today was an exception for the latter.

When he arrived both men were already there and seated. The room had a surprisingly calm atmosphere, but as Marcus considered it more, it made sense considering neither of his colleagues really gave much of a shit about what they were about to discuss.

"Well gentlemen, I don't want to make this meeting too long today as I know that none of us really want to be here." Morgan announced as Marcus took the spare seat in front of the desk.

"Wonderful; I have some metal polishing to do after this so I can't delay that too long."

"Oh my god, Abe do you really have to be so sinister all the time? Calm the fuck down." Marcus replied harshly.

Abe turned to look at him.

"Well I don't want rust now, do I?"

Marcus didn't make eye contact. Abraham was just being an asshole, as usual.

"Now, now," Morgan cut in "Let's not get off topic."

Marcus nodded.

"Alright, well today I'm hoping to get somewhere with this case which has been going on for almost 8 months now." He pulled out a file from underneath a glass paperweight and opened it.

"Jeffrey Duval, 19 years old from Richmond, Virginia, Suspected Pyromaniac with psychotic and antisocial tendencies. 5 counts of first degree murder, the most recent being only a few days ago. Shall I continue?"

"Mmm, which could have been avoided if you had just let me do my job when he first got here." Abe said nonchalantly

"I wanted to give the boy a chance." Morgan replied, slightly frustrated.

"And look where that got you."

"Yes, thank you, Abraham."

It was silent for a few awkward seconds.

"Well," Abe began "We all know what my opinion is in this situation, so I think that this is really something that you need to convince _Marcus_ to let me do."

Morgan looked at Marcus

"No," Marcus replied "I refuse to agree to this and you knew I would."

"Ugh, Marc, you really need to lighten up, it's going to happen to him sooner or later so why not sooner?"

"Because he doesn't deserve to be treated like this!"

"How does he deserve to be treated, Marcus?" Morgan cut in.

"Like a human being!"

"We tried that." Morgan replied calmly.

"You didn't try hard enough."

"Well I could say the same thing to you."

"Excuse me?" Marcus asked, taken aback a little

Morgan gave him a disappointed look

"I know that you stopped treating him, Marcus. Letting him sit in your office for 2 hours every day was never going to help him."

Marcus groaned loudly and dropped his head into his hands.

He looked up at his boss

"Right, ok, well my job with Jeff is anger management, correct? The only problem there is that Jeff can control his anger without me just fine. There's no point me trying to teach somebody anger management when they already know how to do it."

Morgan frowned at him

"I don't understand." Morgan replied

"If you wanted Jeff to stay calm you should have just kept him with Nick all the time! You knew that! I knew that! _Everybody_ knew that!"

"Yes, I knew that, but that's not a practical solution, Marcus. Nick is not a human sedative."

"No he's not, but he's the only person who Jeff cares enough about not to hurt him. If you had been able to actually take notice of that and helped him using Nick then we probably wouldn't be sitting here today!"

"What you're suggesting is impractical and out of the question." Morgan replied

"… So what do you want me to say? What's the point of me being at this meeting if you're going to shoot down everything I say?"

Marcus glanced at Abraham quickly.

"Abraham and I were speaking about this before you joined us, and …"

"And?"

"… I don't see any other solution than Abraham's proposition."

Marcus laughed humourlessly

"So you already decided then?"

"Not quite." Abe cut in. "I still need permission. He wanted you to approve as well if he could get you to."

"Morgan, I swear to god, do not give him permission … Oh but then again he'll probably just do it anyway, LIKE HE HAS DONE BEFORE!" Marcus yelled the last part in Abrahams face just for effect

"Yes, and you know what, Marc, all the people I did it to, they didn't go on to kill anyone so it was almost a public service that I felt morally obligated to perform."

Marcus scowled at him.

"You are sick."

"No, I'm just honest." Abe replied, smiling.

Marcus looked at Morgan, and he gave Marcus a sympathetic and apologetic look.

"You have to realise that it's for the best." Morgan said.

Abe's face broke out into a startling grin

"So do I finally have permission?" Abe asked, positively beaming.

Morgan looked at Marcus for a few lingering seconds, and then turned to Abe.

"You have permission." Morgan replied.

Abe clapped his hands together

"Wonderful!"

Abe got up from his seat and practically waltzed out of the room. Marcus watched him leave and then turned back to Morgan.

"Congratulations, O' Great Doctor Morgan on another one of your many patients being turned into a fucking human vegetable."

"Marcus, I'm sor-."

"Nope. Save it. I honestly don't want to hear another word from you."

* * *

**TBC**


	26. Chapter 26

A/N: I tweaked it ever so slightly, so if you see any small changes, they were just things that I wasn't completely happy about.

Oh, and if you've never read this before, get ready to cry.

* * *

It was late evening and everyone at Atlas was beginning to settle down after another day of nothingness. Abe on the other hand was wide awake. He barely slept anyway, but tonight he wanted to bask in the glory that he had finally got his way after months of oppression from the old doctor. Abe always knew that he would get his way in the end; Jeff was too volatile to last very long and Abe was just_ itching _to _fix_ him. He walked into his dimly lit surgery theatre and over to a small drawer in the corner. He pulled it open and sitting in there was one small pot of metal polish. He smiled and picked it up, pushing the drawer slowly closed behind him. He then walked over to the glass cabinets filled with his instruments. He pulled out the leather wallet filled with 4 different sized orbitoclasts in it and laid it out on a nearby table. He placed the metal polish next to the wallet and exhaled slowly.

"Finally." He whispered with a triumphant smile.

* * *

Morgan had decided that Marcus should be the one to tell Jeff what was going to happen. Marcus suspected that it was either due to the fact that Morgan was a coward, or that he thought that Jeff wouldn't lash out as much if it was Marcus.

When the guards saw him approaching they nodded to him and unlocked the door Marcus pushed the door open and when he did, saw Jeff standing up in the middle of the room, straight-jacket removed, staring at him.

"So are they going to do it now?" Jeff asked coldly.

Marcus shook his head.

"You're appointment is tomorrow." Jeff nodded.

"I'm sorry-,"

"I don't give a fuck."

"Jeff you knew that this was going to happen."

"Yeah I know. I meant that I don't care. They can do whatever they want to me; I'm not worth anything to anyone anyway. Who gives a shit?"

Marcus looked back at the two guards who were still standing outside.

"Could you two give me and Sterling a minute please?"

They looked at each other, nodded, and left.

Marcus swung the door nearly closed behind him.

"So I take it that things didn't go well with Nick yesterday."

"He doesn't love me back."

"Jeff you know that's not true."

"No it is. I was a fucking idiot to think that somebody could actually not despise me for once."

"Jeff, you really don't believe that Nick hates you, do you?"

"It doesn't matter. I'm going to try not to care for the next 24 hours because after that I won't be able to feel my insides being ripped to shreds anymore. It's all good. I'm going to be a zombie and I guess that's alright. I'll probably be even creepier than I already am so I guess every cloud has its silver lining."

"Fine, but for what it's worth, he does-,"

"I don't care. I don't _care_."

"Ok, well I'm coming to get you tomorrow morning at 7."

"Seven AM?"

Marcus nodded

"They didn't want to wait around."

"Of course they didn't."

* * *

Marcus was walking back to his office when he spotted Nick walking to the main courtyard. He looked sad.

"Nick!" Marcus called. Nick turned to look at him and Marcus ran up to him.

"Hi Marcus." He replied.

"Where are you going?"

"Nowhere. I just thought that I would sit out here for a while."

"Oh. Do you mind if I join you?"

"Not at all."

They walked to a nearby bench and sat down.

"So how are you?"

Nick chuckled a little

"Well I've certainly been better."

Marcus nodded, "Things didn't go well with Jeff yesterday?"

Nick shook his head and looked at Marcus.

"I can't help but be angry at him. I know I shouldn't but … he didn't have to kill that guy."

"Jeff didn't have to kill any of the people that he killed, but he still did. We all know it."

"Why didn't he just wait for me though?"

Marcus frowned. He didn't know how much detail Jeff went into with Nick but it seemed that Nick perhaps didn't know the full story.

"Did he not tell you why he did it?"

"Because he's crazy, yes I know."

"No … he did it because the guy was asking him about you."

"What?"

"Umm, the kid was sleeping in the room next to Jeff and he heard Jeff shout your name in his sleep. Apparently he wouldn't stop asking Jeff who you were and Jeff got annoyed."

"You can't be serious."

"Oh believe me, I really wish I wasn't."

Nick looked out across the courtyard and breathed out heavily.

"I didn't say it back. I didn't say I loved him back," He looked back at Marcus "Can you get me another pass?"

Marcus gave him a sympathetic look

"You were only allowed one."

"No … no, you work here, you must be able to get me another one!"

"I'm sorry, Nick. I can't."

"Well … SHIT!"

"It's not your fault, Nick. You couldn't have stopped this."

"No but … ok, well it's ok because they're going to let him go, right? They're going to let him out."

Marcus didn't reply.

"Marcus. They are going to let him out aren't they?"

Nick's face fell as he finally realised, no, they were not.

"They're going to lobotomise him aren't they?"

Marcus nodded.

"Tomorrow." He replied.

Nick took a deep exhale and then stood up.

"I'm going to go for a walk." Nick replied as he wondered off, practically stumbling away from the courtyard. He was a few feet away from the entrance of his building when he finally broke down in tears.

This was it.

It was over and he could feel nothing.

The numbness was coming back.

* * *

Jeff had accepted it. He figured that it was probably for the best anyway. See, his problem was that he knew that Nick was going to be let out in a matter of weeks and he probably was going to spend the rest of his life in either an asylum or in prison and this was his only way out. If they did this to him then he could be sent away to some old people's home for the rest of his life where he would be free to do what ever he wanted, or more importantly what he was capable of doing. It wasn't like Nick was going to wait around forever for him. And hell, Nick probably wouldn't wait for him because Nick viewed Jeff as nothing, just like every other person he had ever known did.

The only thing that Jeff vaguely disliked about the whole situation was the feeling of weakness that he had allowed to overtake him. He had fought his whole life to seem like the big bad wolf and to scare people so badly that nobody ever wanted to come near him, and he was fine with that because he had learned at a very young age that with good relationships comes weakness and that was never what he wanted.

However, when Nick came along he finally understood why people sacrificed so much for love. Because when you finally love someone unconditionally, then you would do anything to protect them or their honour.

But Nick didn't feel the same way, and Jeff finally felt the weakness that he had been running from forever. It was ok though; because in a few hours he wouldn't even remember his own name, let alone who Nick was.

At least that's what he hoped anyway.

* * *

Jeff was collected from his cell at 7am the next morning. He made sure that he didn't sleep until 4 so that he would be half asleep when it happened. He didn't feel like being completely conscious while he was being made brain dead.

Neither he nor Marcus said a word as they walked to Abe's surgery with the two guards tailgating behind them. No words seemed appropriate because what could a person say in this situation?

Morgan and Abe were waiting in the surgery room when they got there. The guards fell back and waited outside the door and Marcus led Jeff over to the chair which he sat down in. Abe pulled a lever on the side of the chair that made it recline slightly and Marcus excused himself from the room. He really didn't want to have to watch this. None of the men still left in the room were saying anything. Jeff was on the brink of literally not giving a shit anymore and Abe was clearly trying to suppress his giddiness and he opened the wallet containing his metal tools.

Morgan on the other hand was beginning to feel horribly ashamed. He didn't want this to happen, in fact, this was the last thing he wanted to happen, but it had to.

Abe pulled one of his Orbitoclast's out and the small hammer that came with it. He turned back to look at Morgan.

Morgan nodded for him to proceed. Abe smiled and looked into Jeff's eyes.

"Don't worry. I'll be gentle with you." Abe whispered.

Jeff felt like kicking him for a second, but he knew that that was what Abe wanted. Instead he simply looked up at the man who was about to take his insanity and smiled.

He just smiled.

Because there was nothing else he could do.

Abe's face fell and, looking slightly annoyed, lined the needle up into his desired position, and raised the hammer above it, and banged it into Jeff's eye socket.

And it was done.

He pulled the needle out and wiped the blood off it with a nearby cloth.

"Finally." Abe breathed as he looked back at Morgan.

Abe stepped away from Jeff and Morgan finally saw his face.

The previous smile that had been there was gone and his face had fallen flat. The old fire that had once burned in his jet black eyes ha been smothered out and all the resided there now was simple blackness. There was a small puncture wound above his eye. All animation was gone.

Jeff was now just a shell of a deranged hermit crab that used to live there.

It was all over.

* * *

Morgan decided that it would be best if Susanna took Jeff down to the clinic for a few days for observation. The walk down there was easy. Jeff seemed to remember how to walk, which was always a good sign that the lobotomy was successful and he didn't seem to have any bad side effects, which was also a very good thing.

Susanna brought him into the main bed room and sat him down on one of the cots, where he lied down for a few hours or so as Susanna filed away some paperwork in the small reception. She wondered whether they would let Nick come down and see him, but knowing Morgan, the answer was probably no. It was a breezy day out, so Susanna thought it wouldn't hurt to take Jeff outside for a little bit. Perhaps fresh sea air would do him some good.

She walked in quietly and shook him awake as gently as he could. He opened his eyes slowly and looked at her.

"Why don't we go outside for a little bit, hmm?" She took his hand and he slid of the bed slowly and walked after her as she pulled him along until she got to the door that led into the garden. She pulled him out and shut the door behind them. She pulled him gently towards the far end of the garden that looked out over the sea and put both of his hands on the fence. He looked out at the sea with a blank expression on his face. Susanna felt so odd being with him like this. Before today she had only seen him being an asshole or yelling at someone but now there was just … nothing. Jeff was gone and what was left was so strange it was almost alien.

"Jeff." She said.

He didn't respond. He didn't even know his own name.

She exhaled loudly and checked the watch in her pocket. It was only 1pm. Just as she was slipping her watch back into her pocket she heard the faint ringing of the phone in the building. She was about to run inside to get it when she remembered Jeff.

She placed a hand on his

"You need to stay here, ok?"

He didn't respond.

"Well it's not like you know how to get anywhere on your own anyway." She continued before rushing in to pick it up. It was just Morgan checking up on them.

"No, he's fine, Morgan. He hasn't lashed out."

"Are you sure? I might come down there in a little while."

"Ok, but there's no difference to what you saw earlier."

She hung up the phone and walked slowly back outside. She walked out of the door and scanned the garden. Jeff wasn't there. She looked around once more and he was gone.

But then she looked at the floor.

Near where Jeff had been standing before, he was now on the floor, in the foetal position.

"Jeff …" She breathed before running over and crouching down next to him. His eyes were both shut and his breathing was extremely shallow.

She placed her hands on both sides of his face.

"Jeff! Jeff can you hear me!?"

He wasn't responding. Something was definitely wrong.

She dashed back inside and punched in the number of Morgan's office.

"Hello?"

"Morgan, it's Jeff, he's collapsed … he's outside and he's … he just collapsed. I need help down here."

"Ok, calm down, I'm coming down."

She hung up and called for three other nurses who were in the break room to come and help him get inside.

When they finally got him back to his bed, Morgan and Abe had arrived and Abe was beginning to inspect his puncture wound.

"It looks fine." Abe admitted sternly.

"Abraham, the boy just collapsed."

"Yes, thank you, Morgan I noticed." Abe took out a small torch from his bag and shone it into Jeff's eyes. Abe frowned and shone it in his eyes again.

Abe looked at Morgan and motioned for him to follow him outside. Both men made their way into the lobby and Abe leaned in close.

"His pupils aren't dilating. Something's happened to his vision."

"And he just lost consciousness …"

Abe nodded guiltily.

"It could be." Abe replied.

Morgan nodded and Abe gathered up his things and left. Susanna came out shortly.

"So?"

He looked at her almost apologetically.

"It could be something or it could be nothing." He admitted.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing for you to worry about."

"Doctor Morgan."

"It's probably nothing."

"I don't care."

"... It could be a premature haemmorage."

"Oh my god … You're a fool, Abraham, A damn fool." She breathed, covering her mouth with her hand.

"Abe's going to return in the morning to check on him and see if he needs to be operated on."

Susanna nodded, running a hand through her hair.

It was all too sudden.

Jeff was probably fine; he just always loved a bit of drama.

She hoped as much, anyway.

* * *

It was 4pm and Nick still hadn't got out of bed. He saw no reason too. It's not like he had anywhere to go or anything to do. But then again, he had been at Atlas for almost two years and he never had anything to do. Jeff was the only one who ever filled that void and now … Nick didn't really want to think of how he would be. A Jeff that was any less than his Jeff … well that would just break his heart. He closes his eyes for a little while and finally drifts off into a tense sleep after a few minutes before getting jolted awake by someone saying his name very close to his ear. He blinked his eyes open and saw Susanna crouching by his bed with her face close to his.

"Nick I need you to come with me to the clinic."

Nick rubbed his eyes.

"Why?"

"Jeff is there."

"Oh."

The walk there was silent, filled only by the occasional crack of a twig underfoot. On the pathway down Nick looked out at the sea. It was an unseasonably cold day and the sea was choppy and dark. Black clouds were rolling across the sky like the wheels of a steam train. For the first time since Nick had been at Atlas, the weather actually matched the mood of the place.

Susanna led him through the gates and down the final stretch of the path. She then led him into the building where Morgan was waiting for them.

"Nicolas." He said, standing up when they entered.

"What did you do to him?" Nick asked quietly.

"He's fine, he just collapsed earlier and he's lying down for a little while."

Nick just stared at him without expression.

"He's not fine, and you know that."

Morgan glanced at Susanna who had averted her gaze from the both of them.

"Well, nevertheless." Morgan replied, gesturing to the doorway into the room where Nick recalled being kept before. Nick looked at the both of them and Morgan gave him a brief smile.

Nick walked away from them and through the door. Jeff was in the bed closest to the far window looking out onto the grass and then the sea. Nick walked straight over to his bed and stopped when he got to the foot.

Jeff still looked like Jeff, but he was vacant, unaware that Nick was standing there staring at him. There was a gauze over his right eye although Nick had heard that there wasn't a lot of bleeding associated with lobotomies. He figured that Susanna had probably put it there so that Nick wouldn't have to see the puncture hole. His left eye was open but looking in another direction to where Nick was. He looked pale and almost weak. It was strange seeing Jeff in such a way after being convinced for months that Jeff had some sort of impenetrable invincibility. Nick walked around the side of the bed slowly and sat down on the left of the bed next to Jeff.

"Jeff." He whispered. Jeff didn't respond.

Nick lifted a shaky hand and placed it under his bad eye. He stroked the bottom of the gauze with his thumb. Nick looked back up through the doorway to see if he was being watching, but he wasn't. He actually couldn't hear or see either Susanna or Morgan. He turned back to Jeff to see that his good eye was now on him. Nick slid his hand down a little so that it was cupping Jeff's chin lightly.

"I'm sorry for what I said to you yesterday." He said quietly, grazing Jeff's jawbone with his thumb. Nick felt something moving beside him and he scooted away a little so that Jeff could gently wriggle his arm out of the sheets. Nick looked down at his arm and then back to his face. Jeff slipped his arm out and placed his hand over Nick's.

He said nothing though.

Nick smiled at him.

"I missed you." Nick whispered.

Jeff didn't move his hand from Nick's.

"And I need to tell you things." Nick continued "Because I think that you have no choice but to listen now."

Nick knew he had things to say but he also knew that there was now no point in saying them. It was probably that Jeff didn't even know who he was, but Nick still hoped that maybe if he talked to him enough that he would snap out of it and start telling Nick that he needed to stop being so dramatic because that was his job.

"The day that you arrived here something in me woke up and things just … I don't know what you did to me but it made me feel so scared. It was probably because you never seemed afraid and I always was. But that doesn't matter any longer because in the end I made you just as afraid as I was.

But I think the thing you need to know the most is that the reason I didn't say that I loved you back yesterday was because I was so damn _angry_ at you. We could have worked it out, we could have worked everything out, but I should have known that you wouldn't have been able to wait, even it if was just for a few days because you needed me, you always need me." Nick took his hand out from underneath Jeff's and took his hand in both of his. He kissed Jeff's knuckles softly.

"I feel like I should feel that it's my fault that they destroyed you, but really it was all you. You loved me too much and that's what destroyed you. That's what destroyed us. We ruined each other.

Or though maybe we were both destroyed from the beginning. We were so deprived of happiness that as soon as we found it we destroyed it.

I don't actually know why i'm saying any of this," Nick laughed "I know what I wanted to tell you though. I wanted to tell you that I love you, Jeffrey Sterling, and that I will love you, and only you for the rest of my life. Because you are the love of my life. You brought me back to life, Jeff. You gave me your spirit and demolished yourself in the process and I will always hate you for that. But I love you all the same, Jeff. I will always love you just the same."

He placed his hand on Jeff's cheek and Jeff's eyes fell shut and his breathing slowed down calmly.

Nick began to cry.

He felt like he was never going to stop crying.

They stayed like that for a few hours and around 9; Susanna came in and brought an armchair for Nick to sleep in. He groggily moved into the chair and leaned his head against the mattress of Jeff's bed. When Susanna left his pulled Jeff's hand into his and eventually drifted into sleep. Maybe things would be better tomorrow. Just maybe.

* * *

Nick woke up the next morning, not quite knowing where he was or why he had an uncomfortable ache in his neck. He was still in the small space of time when only his brain and not his body was awake. His left hand was clutching what felt like bed sheets. He adjusted his head to try and take the pressure off his neck but failed. The shift in position though brought an irritating glare with it. He felt as though somebody was shining a torch into his closed eyes. He finally opened his eyes and it took a moment to register where he was and why it was so bright. He managed to push himself into an upright position and realised that he was sitting in a chair. He rubbed his eyes a few times and blinked into the unbearable lightness. It was the sun shining through 3 large windows at the far side of the room he was in.

And then it hit him. He was in the clinic. The pain in his neck was due to the fact that he had been slumped over the cot all night. He looked down at the bed in front of him. It was empty.

"Jeff?" He whispered as if expecting Jeff to appear out of thin air.

"Morning, sweetheart." A kind female voice called to the right of him. His neck whipped to the side and he winced in pain. He blinked a few more times and recognised Susanna sitting in a plastic chair 4 or 5 meters to his right against the wall. She smiled at him, but not with her usual bright – well bright for Atlas- smile. She was smiling only with her mouth. Her eyes gave away sadder emotions or ones of impending doom. He frowned at her.

"Where's Jeff?" He asked calmly.

Susanna took a deep breath and got up from her chair to walk over to the empty cot. She sat down on it and patted the space beside her for Nick to join her.

"What?" He asked, his heartbeat was beginning to thump in his ears. Something was wrong.

"Just sit with me, Nick." She said softly, giving him the same sad smile that she had before.

"What's wrong? Where did Jeff go?"

"Nick …"

Nick kicked the chair away behind him and sat down on the bed next to her cautiously. He was beginning to panic.

"Where is he?" Nick asked again.

"Nick, we had to move him." She replied quietly.

"Why?" Nick asked.

Susanna shook her head and looked at the ground.

"Susanna?" He asked, staring down at her. She looked back up at him and took his hands in hers.

"… Jeff died in his sleep." She said quietly, tears beginning to form in her eyes.

Nick froze and felt his face fall from the previous frown it had been morphed into. Suddenly all he could feel was his heart hammering in his ears and the slow sound of breathing that may or may not have been coming from him.

"What?" He heard himself finally say after a few moments. He didn't really mean to say it but he felt like there was nothing else to do or say.

"I left for literally 20 minutes last night to go and speak to someone up on the main grounds and when I came back … you were asleep and Jeff wasn't breathing. I checked his pulse but … there was nothing, he just … he just stopped breathing in his sleep."

Nick laughed, just because he wasn't really sure how to react. He only realised that he was crying when he felt something warm sliding down his cheek. He took his hands from hers and rubbed his cheeks.

"What, so he just _died_?!" He said angrily as more tears fell down his face

"Abe said that it was probably internal bleeding as a result of the-,"

"Why did you leave him?!" He asked loudly, sounding angrier with every word.

"Nick, honey, I thought he would be fine! He was always fine when he was with you!"

"HE WAS _DYING_! YOU SAW THE BANDAGE ON HIS EYE, YOU SAW HOW ILL HE LOOKED AND YOU DID NOTHING!" Nick began screaming as he stood and back away from where he had been previously sitting. He didn't know what to do anymore. It was like everything that he was still clinging desperately onto in life had been suddenly ripped away and all was left was something inhumane.

"I want to see him … his body." Nick said firmly.

Susanna shook her head.

"You're not allowed. I'm sorry."

"Why not?!"

"Because …. Nick, if you do, you'll _never_ be able to get the image out of your mind. I don't think Jeff would have wanted you to remember him like that."

"So I can't even say goodbye?"

Susanna shook her head again.

"Oh my god," Nick choked out as he turned and began towards the door that lead out into the small entrance lobby. He felt sick, as though somebody had pumped his stomach and replaced the contents with scraps of rusted metal. He needed air. He needed Jeff.

There was no funeral and Nick never got to see Jeff again. Jeff's body was buried in a cemetery in the nearest town to Atlas, and that was it. But in a way all of it seemed less painful to him, because his heart had always belonged to Jeff anyway, so when he died, part of Nick did too.

* * *

2 weeks later

Nick walked into Morgan's office for what seemed like the thousandth time and sat down in front of him. Everyone at Atlas had been being especially nice to Nick since Jeff died and he hated it. He just wanted everyone to leave him alone.

"Good Morning, Nicolas."

"Good Morning, Morgan."

"How are you?"

Nick just stared at him. He didn't know why he bothered asking. Morgan already knew the answer to that question.

"We haven't really spoken since Jeff passed and I just wanted to have a talk with you today."

When Nick didn't respond, Morgan continued.

"It's my job to see how you're doing and I just … have you been coping alright?"

Nick laughed humourlessly and then gave him the most straight faced glare.

"Well, my best friend died after getting a lobotomy that _you _approved and that Abraham botched. He was always so dramatic though. He just had to die like that, didn't he? As for me though, I'm … alone. But that's ok, isn't it? Because it's always going to be like this. For the rest of my life I'm going to be alone and there's nothing I can do about it. But you're probably going to keep me here for another year just to make sure I don't try and kill myself again so at least I'll be coddled for another 12 months before I'm released back into the wild."

Morgan nodded.

"Actually, your mother is coming to get you in 2 days. You're going home."

Nick laughed.

"How long for this time? A week? Two?"

"Forever. I think you're time at Atlas is up."

"You're letting me go?"

"Yes. You aren't going to get any better if you stay here. You'll be receiving visits from a local psychiatrist every week and she'll stop coming to see you when she thinks that you're ready."

"You're really letting me leave?"

"Yes. I think that too many bad things have happened to you here and staying here will make you worse. It's been 2 years. It's time for you to go home."

Nick nodded "Fine. Can I go?"

"If you want."

"I do." He muttered before walking out of the room. He passed Marcus on the way out but didn't stop to talk or even look at him. Nick tried to stay away from anything that reminded him too much of Jeff.

Marcus sighed and walked into Morgan's office behind him. He was holding an envelope in his hand. He walked up to the desk but didn't sit down.

"Marcus."

"Morgan."

"What can I do for you?"

"Nothing, I uhh, just wanted to give you my letter of resignation."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm moving to San Francisco."

"San Francisco?"

"Yeah, I have a job offer there and I want to be closer to my son. And … I don't really feel like I want to be here anymore."

"Why don't you want to be here?"

"There's too much hate here. Too many ghosts. I just feel trapped here and I don't want to anymore. I feel like I'm turning into one of the patients. So I'm going to take the job in California and I think I'll be a lot happier there."

"Are you sure about this, Marcus? It seems awfully sudden."

"Oh it's not in any way sudden, and I am completely and utterly positive."

"Oh. Well I'll certainly be sad to see you go."

"Yeah. Well I just thought I would tell you in person. I'll stay here until you find somebody to replace me and then I'll leave."

"Very well."

* * *

2 days later.

Nick was being escorted out of the grounds to where his mother was waiting outside the gates at around 11am. It was a warm, sunny day. As he was approaching the gates, he saw a black van pull up to the gates. The doors opened and two men in white coats jumped out. They looked oddly familiar.

The gates opened for Nick and he walked out to where his mother was waiting for him.

Then he realised who the two men were.

Red and Monty.

He didn't linger and he didn't look at them for long. He didn't want them to recognise him. He couldn't handle people right now, so he simply hugged his mom, threw his bag in the trunk, and got into the passenger seat. He didn't wait to say goodbye to anyone there, not even Susanna. He didn't want to be there any longer. He wanted to be far, far away where he wouldn't see Jeff everywhere he went. He wanted to be free.

"I'm so glad that you're finally coming home, sweetheart." His mom chimed from the driver's seat as she pulled away down the road away from Atlas Institute.

"Yeah," He replied "Me too."

He leaned his head against his window and looked out as the Institute disappeared behind them.

"Bye Jeff." He whispered. He closed his eyes.

_Bye Nick_ He imagined Jeff saying back to him. He repeated it in his head like a mantra until he fell asleep.

* * *

4 months later.

Nick's new psychiatrist had been pleased with his progress after only 2 months and congratulated him on his amazing progress. After a few weeks, he had been able to convince his mother that he should get a place on his own considering that he was almost 20. After many heated discussions, she had finally agreed and found some apartments for him to go and visit and today he had an especially old apartment downtown to look at. It was rustic. Charming.

The landlady met him at the door and led him up the stairs to the flat.

"Right, so rent is cheap 'cause this place is so damn old and I'm not really around most of the time so ya can do whatever you want if I'm gonna be honest."

"Great." Nick replied. He liked the sound of this place already. She unlocked the front door and led him through the condo into the kitchen and lounge and bathroom, and then finally up a small flight of stairs up to the attic bedroom. The room was nice enough, but there was one feature that caught his eye that gave him … an idea. Going across the ceiling was a large wood beam that looked really quite strong. It was obviously a support feature but it looked stable enough.

"Hey, how strong is that support beam?" Nick asked curiously

She looked up at it.

"Oh that? Yeah you could probably do somersaults over that and it would stay put."

"Oh really? So it's pretty strong then?"

"Yeah … I mean … you ain't planning on hangin' yaself are ya?" She asked, laughing at the thought.

Nick laughed a little too.

"No," He replied, "I wouldn't dream of doing such a thing."

* * *

**THE END**


End file.
